DATING TIPS: DENIED! WHEN YOU GOT DITCH

We all know denial sucks, but there’s great ways of handling it.

I have my own personal ways of handling it instead of telling myself I don’t need a girl like that and she’s not worth my time, because a lot of the time, when I started out, I had absolutely no clue on how to start a conversation with a girl.

Sometimes she was worth my time but I just went about it wrong. THERE’S A FOOLPROOF BACKUP, YAY!

What I would do if let’s say she says “Get out of here loser!” would be to purposefully go with it and say “YES I AM A LOSER, I AM NOT WORTHY TO SPEAK TO YOU AND APOLOGIZE FOR BEING WITHIN YOUR PRESENCE,” or something to that effect.

DATING TIPS: GOING ABOUT THE APPROACH

Well, this is a lot different than just getting up the courage to approach a girl.

Now you gotta know what to say.

You can’t just talk about how cool the book she’s reading is, can you?

The answer is -- probably.

Staying on an interesting topic from what I find still works pretty well with girls.

As long as you make her laugh a little and maybe pull a little “you want me” technique out can work wonders. Warning, be careful and don’t get too excited to use the “you want me” technique if it doesn’t feel right. Just teasing and laughing should keep her attracted.

DATING TIPS: THE APPROACH

Ok guys, time to move out.

My suggestion, get out there and hit on all kinds of girls. Whether she’s attractive or not, the idea is to find great ways for you to start conversations with her.

Ask her questions about her clothes, what she’s reading at the time or tease her about something she’s got on or the activity she’s doing, whatever.

I want you guys to be laughing, having fun and connecting.

Find a wise ass comment to make about anything that’s just not going to offend her. Have a good time but most of all -- learn.

This approach thing is made too complicated by guys who get nervous.

DATING TIPS: WHERE TO FIND THE BABES

The answer is everywhere.

I really don’t go searching for girls, I just always come across them it seems at the mall, Wal-Mart or gas station.

They’re everywhere!

To guys who’d want to know this, if you live in a rural area, you’ll need to probably get out unless you have one girl in mind you want to attract and know where to find her.

Bars and Nightclubs are okay to go to, I don’t, but it’s still full of hot chicks all dressed up for a man to come and sweep them off their feet. I find girls everywhere and never had this problem at all.

If you live in an urban area and were waiting for this question to come up, smack yourself! There’s probably 10 girls outside your window right now but you’re too worried about where to find girls and not worried enough about how to get them.

Look right under your nose guys, they’re any place interesting, uninteresting and anywhere in public

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: ACCUSE HER OF WANTING YOU

This tip isn’t really too tricky at all.

The idea is whenever she brings up a subject about sex or something to that affect, to accuse her of insinuating she wants you or sex from you.

This is to be done in a fun and playful manner, but you’ll still need to hold the belief she actually DOES want you. This is the key to really getting her going.

Ever since a kid, I told ugly girls who I knew liked me, I knew they wanted me and it seemed to turn them on like crazy. Through a little testing, I found the same crap worked on hot girls.

Although then I rarely used it, I believe that if I find 2-3 times to accuse a girl of wanting me (or sex from me) is probably the best amount.

DATING TIPS: TAKE THE LEAD

Ok -- so you’re at a dance and there’s a girl who you want to dance with.

You’ve been talking to her for 5 minutes and a really great song comes on and you want to dance with this chick, how does you ask her to dance?

YOU DON’T.

Let’s compare what you would probably say in junior high, to what you and me are going to be saying by the end of this manual.

Junior High comment:
You - “Hi um, I was just wondering if it was okay if I could dance with you to this song?”
Her- “No I really don’t wanna.”
You- “Well gee, okay.”

DATING TIPS: GIVE HER CHALLENGES

Whenever I’m with a girl, I love to challenge her to all kinds of things.

Basketball, Arcade games, ping pong whatever’s available for a good challenge.

It’s great to kid around and create challenges because it’s showing your cocky side. Guys who don’t provide a challenge are going to have to work another angle because I’ve never had a successful date without being a challenge or challenging her on things.

Now during the challenge, I kind of do some trash talking (of course I’m fooling around) by saying things like “Man you never shouldn’t have accepted my challenge, now your gonna get whooped!” or “Prepare to get embarrassed, my dear!”

Little things like this can begin a whole bunch of friendly conflict and fun.

It’s also great to cheat a little, like poke her in the side before she takes a jumpshot or try and get a peak at her cards when playing poker.

After you messed her up it’s great to tell her she stinks at it.

Create challenges all the time and watch the attraction build.

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: DECIDE FOR HER

As a man, I feel it’s necessary to take the lead at certain moments.

When a decision is needed to be made, if a man tells the woman “It’s up to you honey, you’re in control,” he’s given up power that was necessary for him to keep and take control of.

My idea of taking the lead can be anything from grabbing her hand and leading her somewhere, to just making a decision for her that she can‘t.

Here are some scenarios of what taking the lead would be, I’ll show you how not then how to handle the situation.

How Not:
Woman – “Honey, I don’t know if I want to have BBQ or seafood tonight.”
Man – “Sweetie, the decision‘s yours. Whatever you want, we’ll do tonight.”

Woman – “I don’t know if I want to go hang out with you tonight or just stay home.”
Man – “It’s perfectly understandable if you don’t want to go out with me tonight, if you decide against it, I’m perfectly fine. Next time you can just give me a call and we’ll go out whenever you want, babe.”

Woman – “Honey, do you think I should wear the blue or red dress tonight, I can‘t decide?”
Man – “You know colors better than me, I really don’t know I can’t tell.”

How To:
Woman – “Honey I don’t know if I want to have BBQ or seafood tonight.”
Man – “I’m in the mood for seafood, let’s go there tonight. Sound good?”

Woman – “I don’t know if I want to go hang out with you tonight or just stay home.”
Man – “Now, what do you thinks more fun, TV or me? Now that you’ve thought about it, staying home’s not even an option right, I’ll be over at 9pm. Be ready on time.”

Woman – “Honey, do you think I should wear the blue or red dress tonight, I can‘t decide?”
Man – “I’d have to go with the red dress. It looks so much cuter on you, now hurry up.”

See the difference?

It means the whole world to a woman if you take control and decide for her when she can’t. I truly believe this is part of a man’s job in a relationship, and if you try it besides saying “Whatever you wish darling” and just say “Yeah, we’re goin’ for seafood tonight,” you’ll relieve yourself of having to say to yourself “Dammit, I wanna have seafood, but I’ll come across as rude if I tell her what I want to do.”

I know we were raised to say that kind of stuff, but it’s another lesson that’s gotta be unlearned.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: WHY IT WORKED SO WELL LONG AGO

Men think mainly through reason and logic, women think through emotions and feelings.

We’re different and we’ll just have to deal with the fact that’s they way it is.

Our species has done it for millions of years and we’re still all alive. How did we do it when we’re so different?

Ever hear a guy say….

“Women are impossible” or
“You can’t win with women, there’s no possible way.”

Maybe you’ve even been the guy saying that.

It’s not true, that’s just the unattractive in them (or you) speaking (at least at that time).

Well our ancestors found ways to get around our differences and manage to be extremely close and in love with each other.

DATING TIPS: APPERANCE = 20% SUCCESS

A good-looking guy is only guaranteed about 15-20% success.

His confidence, humor and attitude happen to be mainly the determining factors between getting a smoking hot supermodel or some ugly chick who’s upset she only gets to go home with this guy based on looks with no personality.

Don’t let these metro sexual dudes fool you.

A lot of them aren’t doing too well with the ladies from what I find.

Quite a few of my friends happen to have the metro look and girls approach them all the time, none want to take my advice and they get pissed when I get hotter chicks.

A lot of guys don’t know what they’re doing and spend their time finding ways to look better, when meanwhile they should be smart like everyone who’s reading this manual right now and learn to actually attract girls through a woman‘s natural desires.

DATING TIPS: WHY BEING FUNNY IS SO ATTRACTIVE

I still have trouble with this idea, why do girls always cling to funny guys?

Well I know for sure that humor alone isn’t going to get you too far.

But it seems guys who are funny do great with girls.

What I find is it’s mainly the fact that through laughing, people seem to bond and become closer, also making the girl feel more comfortable around the man where she feels she can be laid back.

Funny also = fun, which is probably the best element to attracting a girl is fun between you two.

This is really important. Yet I also feel it’s needed to be mixed in with cockiness and confidence to create the greatest combination.

DATING TIPS: COCKINESS, NOT ARROGANCE

Ok guys, you’ll need to know the difference between cockiness and arrogance.

A few of my more ignorant friends think arrogance is the answer, but don’t get any girls.

What is that saying?

A lot of girls already have themselves prepared to avoid and pass by all arrogant, mean or conceited guys when they leave the house. Arrogant guys repel women because girls hate assholes.

That’s simple and understandable.

Too many guys just go out and try and be just arrogant and good-looking.

DATING TIPS: COMPLIMENTS

Compliments should be used sparingly and only in a situation where it’s totally necessary.

If she dressed up really nice one night to see you (I mean like big $$$ dress nice), then I would allow it an acceptable situation to compliment her on how lovely she looks.

Over-using compliments is like adding water to a fire in a girl.

She can be really hot for you, but if you keep pouring that water on soon it’ll die out. Keep the fire alive through laughing, teasing, activities you guys are doing or even playing hard to get (I’ll discuss playing hard to get later).

It’s often alright if you can’t absolutely think of another thing to say, to approach a girl by using compliments.

DATING TIPS: DOING MASCULINE JOKES AROUND GIRLS

Being a real guy (or how you act when your alone with guy friends) in front of a girl can often be attractive to her.

It shows you’re being who you are and can be comforting for a girl to put her guard down to know you’re not being fake. This isn’t true for all girls and either way I don’t take it as a red flag.

When hanging out with my guy friends, we usually do manly things like fart on each other and smack each other around and it makes girls laugh like crazy.

A lot of the time guys hold back from this stuff cause they’re afraid girls will get grossed out.

About 50% of girls won‘t mind, so make your own judgment on if you think she‘d mind. Usually if you do it too early, for their first impression, it’s unattractive which is no good.

DATING TIPS: PLAYFUL TEASING THROUGH ACTIONS

Teasing a girl physically works usually just as well as verbally.

Either way you’re portraying the same idea that you’re comfortable around her and willing to tease her a little bit which is good.

Now physical teasing with a girl (for me personally), usually will involve just doing little subtle things that when she realizes that you’re teasing her can be funny for the both of you.

For example, physical teasing could be…

DATING TIPS: PLAYFUL TEASING THROUGH WORDS

This has to do back with what I said about my kindergarten story.

It works, the idea is not to put them down or make them feel bad, but to just point out something or tease a girl about anything and everything (try and avoid physical jokes unless you feel she‘ll be comfortable with it).

Find anything, her purse, shoes, glasses, what she’s doing, how she’s doing it, where she’s going and make a smart or wise ass comment about it sure to make her laugh.

The intention of your playful teasing is not to tease; keep in mind your intention is to attract her and nothing else. Most guys get offset and decide to do this teasing thing all night and it winds up pissing her off.

Tease her when you have a funny or naughty little comment that comes to mind and don’t hold back. I had to re-learn this skill from kindergarten and I‘d say it‘s the best one to have.

DATING TIPS: DO NOT LET HER GET YOU MAD OR UPSET

Letting a girl get you upset just shows that you’re not in control of yourself.

When you can’t control yourself, how could that possibly be attractive in any way? More importantly, how will that benefit you in any way in life?

It won’t.

We are all aware girls can do some pretty bitchy things.

They can lose their temper, yell, scream and my favorite is whine, but I’m never going to lose my cool.

Now of course this is a big red flag saying “Back away, she requires high maintenance and can turn on you at any second.” Once I see this big waving red flag, I’m out.

DATING TIPS: PSYCHE YOURSELF UP

Get yourself excited.

Try and watch a good Pierce Brosnan or Sean Connery, James Bond film.

They play a great role of being attractive.

I try and imagine every morning that I’m like James Bond, women have to earn me. I see myself being smooth, charming, attractive, yet a bit of a wise ass.

To psyche yourself up, you could even go as far as playing some ‘Rocky’ music in the car before going on a date, telling yourself that you’re the champ with girls or something. That’s something I loved to do even though it was corny, it is also fun to laugh about.

Be excited not scared.

DATING TIPS: DO NOT SMOTHER THE GIRL

This means don’t be the pervert who follows her through the malls, shopping centers and school hallways or sits at her lunch table all period and doesn’t say hardly a word but just hopes by being near her.

The same one who calls that night to talk on the phone for hours and get nowhere with her.
Then she turns around to her friends and says he’s a loser.

Yes, you can guess what I did, I smothered her the next day by coming by at around 10am to hang out. We went inside her house and just stayed there and I pretty much killed it.

The moment I began to like her and wanted her more, the more she pulled away and found better things to do. She moved on and we weren’t even friends.

That night I had stopped by, we both wanted each other pretty bad, but through my desperateness for her attraction, it quickly died out.

DATING TIPS: THE KNOWLEDGE FACTOR

Contrary to popular beliefs, attracting beautiful women is a skill you can learn. Most "players" out there get laid not because they are rich and handsome, but because they are skilled in what they do in their past time - picking up women.

They are the people who have been rejected over and over since a young age before they finally learned the skills they need to be good with women. The good news for you, my friend, is that these skills can be learned by anyone. This means anyone, regardless of his looks, wealth, and status, can
become a master at picking up women once they have learned the right skills.

Every skill needs to be learned.

DATING TIPS: THE DETACHMENT FACTOR

A lot of guys make the mistake of focusing on the “end results” rather than the “process” of meeting women. That's why they often get discouraged.

They don't know that it's the PROCESS of doing something that will GET them the results.

For example...let's say you’re a beginner and it takes 10 approaches before 1 woman will go out with you.

Well, most guys would think, "Okay. I'm going to set up a goal and get 10 women to come out with me by the end of the week".

But after asking out 5 women without getting any results, they get discouraged and either lower their goal or forget about the whole thing completely.

DATING TIPS: THE CUMULATIVE FACTOR

Guys are always looking for the one single “magical button” that they can push to seduce “any woman”, “any time”.

I am here to tell you that this is the wrong way of thinking. It is the CUMULATIVE effect of different “buttons” that can give you success with women.

Let me illustrate an example.

If you get a BB gun and shoot BB bullets at a window, you’re not going to break it. But if you melt a hundred BB’s together and then throw it at a window, you are probably going to break it.

Dating is the same.

EVERY action you do will either attract a woman towards you or push her away from you. All your tiny actions may seem very insignificant to you, but when you add them together, they’ll determine the amount of success you have with a woman.

This is why when you’re going after a girl, you should always be hitting her from different angles and directions! Don’t rely on just one thing…throw her everything you’ve got!


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: THE RESPECT FACTOR

“Respect” is very important when it comes to the dating game. Women are ONLY attracted to guys they RESPECT.

Don't believe me?

You know...it's the same for guys too: We are only attracted to girls we respect.
As men, we can have sex with hot sluts...but we never STAY with them because we don't respect them at all.

So... if a girl tries to have sex with us in order to seduce us because she thinks guys are just after sex, she's going to be in a nasty surprise.

Sure...we may have sex with them or even fall for her in the short run...but over time, we're going to lose respect and eventually dump her because she's just "too easy".

The same applies to dating women.

DATING TIPS: THE POWER FACTOR

It is very important to keep as much power inside you as you can when you’re dating a beautiful woman.

A lot of guys make the mistake of giving away all their power when they meet a hot woman. As a result, they become needy and eventually get dumped by their girlfriends.

I’m here to put the power back in you. I’m here to give you the greatest power a man can have in a relationship: the power to walk away.

When you're needy, a woman KNOWS that she HAS you.

And when a woman knows she has you, it leaves her VERY LITTLE REASON to try to change ANYTHING for the better.

Think about it…

DATING TIPS: THE BULLSHIT

Never take any bullshit from women. You do not deserve it. If a woman gives you any kind of bullshit, either ignore her or walk away, but don’t despond to it.

Whenever a woman misbehaves, you want to respond, not react.

So what's the difference between "responding" and "reacting"?

Well, when you "react" to a situation, you're really letting OTHER people influence you.

Some examples of "reacting" to a woman include:

DATING TIPS: THE STEEL BALLS FACTOR

A successful “Smart Dater” should have steel balls, meaning he should have backbone and NOT let any woman dominate him. Here a couple of “Steel Ball” rules.

1) Do everything on your terms.
2) Be picky about the women you date.
3) Ditch “problem women” quickly. Do not hesitate to walk away from a bad relationship.
4) Let women come into your reality when you date them, not the other way around.
5) Be very demanding of everything in life. Never settle for the second best.
6) Develop immunity to criticism and rejection.
7) Believe in unlimited abundance. There are always more women out there.
8) Be a challenge.

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: THE SPONTANEITY FACTOR

Women love "spontaneity", as in finding herself in an "accidental romance" that just "happens out of nowhere."

This is the reason why most guys fail in their approaches – because they use standard "pick up lines" that seem too "artificial".

Imagine two guys walking into a bar.

The first one sees a woman he would really love to meet. He prepares for 15 minutes before he finally gathers up the courage to approach her nervously...

"Hi…my name is Dick and I would just like to tell you that…"

DATING TIPS: THE PUSH AND PULL FACTOR

The Dating School of Physics states that the harder you push a woman, the more she will pull away from you. This is why you should never push a girl into doing anything.

For example, if you’ve just broken up with a girl, don’t argue with her and try to push her into getting back with you. The more you push her into getting back with you, the more annoyed she will be until she finally stops talking to you.

Or for example, if you’re trying to ask a girl out but she’s not responding the way you would like her to, don’t keep pushing. If you push too hard, she will never talk to you again.

Learn to attract women to you, not push them away!

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: THE MONEY FACTOR

Never try to use money to attract women. It never works unless the woman is a gold-digger.

Here’s a true case I’ve encountered. There once was a rich guy who gave his crush a five-star trip to Europe. But the girl ended up with a poor guy who bought her yogurt when she was sick.

This girl is what I would call “marriage material”. You see, good girls do not come after your money; they come after YOU. They see money as the “icing on the cake”, but not as the cake itself.

Always use your PERSONALITY - not your money – to attract woman.

DATING TIPS: THE TESTING FACTOR

A lot of guys email me and ask, “How do I tell if a girl likes me?” Well, like I ask my readers all the time, if you aren’t even holding her hand, how can you tell if a woman likes you or not?

In order to test if a woman likes you or not, you must be constantly advancing forward in small steps.

For example, before you approach a woman, you should make eye contact, smile, and wait for her reaction.

If she smiles back, then you can approach her.

DATING TIPS: THE MYSTERY OR BOTTOM CARD FACTOR

When you’re playing Poker, you ALWAYS hide your “bottom card” so nobody knows what it is.

Dating is just the same. Don’t ever show your “bottom card” to a woman, as in never show just how much “power” or resources you have.

Women love playing detective and getting information out of you – so don’t ruin their fun by offering information about yourself. If you tell them too much about yourself, they are going to find you boring by the second date and dump you by the third.

That’s why you want to remain mysterious!

DATING TIPS: THE WORDS VS ACTION FACTOR

Whenever a woman plays games or throws a tantrum, always focus on her actions, not her words. The last thing you want to do while a woman plays mind games with you is to try to read her thoughts.

Why?

Because you’ll probably be wrong.

It is almost impossible for us to read a girl's mind because we're always biased. When we’re trying to read a girls mind, we're not really reading her thoughts. We're merely trying to explain her action in order to justify our opinion on what she is thinking about.

So instead of worrying about what she is thinking, focus on her actions instead.

How is she treating you?

Is she happy when she around you? Or is she sad?

DATING TIPS: THE CHALLENGE FACTOR

Every woman enjoys a good challenge.

Here are ten ways to act like a challenge on a date:

1) Don't Ask, Lead

This one is VERY important. A lot of guys ask stupid things like "Would you like to go to this restaurant?", "Can I go to the bathroom", or even worse, "Can we do this again some other time?"
And they wonder why they never get a second date!

Listen, buddy.

Confident men do NOT ask women for permission to do ANYTHING.

They JUST do it.
They don't ask for a kiss.
They don't ask for a second date.
They don't ask for ANYTHING.

DATING TIPS: THE DISTANCE FACTOR

I’m going to make it clear that I do NOT like long-distance relationships. In my experience, distance ALWAYS kills attraction, and most long distance relationships DO fail.

So unless you’ve already been going out with a girl for a LONG time, do NOT start a long distance relationship with her.

At the end of the day, the outcome of your long distance relationship will depend on mutual attraction.

If your attraction for her falls, then you won't want to have a long-distance with her anymore. The same goes for her. If her attraction for you falls too low, she won't want to commit in a long-distance relationship either.

DATING TIPS: THE CHEATING FACTOR

There are two reasons why a woman would cheat on you.

The first one is her low attraction for you. The more a woman is attracted to you, the nicer she will be to you. When a woman is very, very, attracted to you, she will do everything she can to please you.

On the other hand, the less a woman is attracted to you, the more likely she will do naughty things such as fooling around with other guys behind your back.

The second reason a woman would cheat on you is that she is disloyal.

Some women are more loyal than others, and that’s why you need to make sure a woman is loyal before you commit to her.

Think of it this way: there is a “tolerance level” in every woman’s system.

DATING TIPS: THE RED LIGHT FACTOR

When I go after a girl, I only see a red light in front of me.

If the light is red – as in she is rejecting me blatantly - I move on to the next girl.

If it's a green light, I keep going.

If it's a yellow light, then I use my creative persistence and find a way to get AROUND her resistance.

It's really that simple.

There's no reason to complicate things by trying to rationalize her behaviors with your logic, etc.

You will get it wrong 90 percent of the time.

DATING TIPS: THE GIVE AND TAKE FACTOR

“Giving” and “taking” are equally important in a relationship. In any healthy long-term relationship, you can only get back as much as you give – not less, not more.

Unfortunately, most guys only know how to GIVE and don’t know how to TAKE. They ruin their own relationships by giving everything they’ve got…until their women lose all respect for them and leave them for other guys.

There are two parts to this lesson.

DATING TIPS: THE CREATIVE PERSISTENCE FACTOR

In order to be successful with women, you must have what I call “creative persistence.” Just like you can never have success in life without being persistent, you can’t have much success with women without having creative persistence.

A lot of guys do try to be persistent with women. The trouble is…they only try the same thing over and over again. Sorry to break out the bad news, but if it didn’t work the first time, it’s not going to work the second or third time!

The reason why most guys bump into the SAME walls and make the SAME mistakes over and over is because they fail to learn. They just keep on doing the same thing over and over because they can’t see it’s not working.

DATING TIPS: THE REALITY FACTOR

The biggest mistake men make in the dating game is ignoring reality.

Every day, I receive emails from guys that have been ignoring reality for most of their lives. There was once a guy who was arrested by the police for stalking a girl. But still he thought there was a way he could win her heart.

Listen.

Reality never lies.

It doesn’t matter how much YOU like a girl.

DATING TIPS: THE BOYFRIEND FACTOR

So you’ve just met a girl…and she tells you she has a boyfriend.

What do you do?

It's simple. You ignore her.

Why?

Because there’s a possibility she’s using it as an excuse to brush off guys that approach her. Also, even if she DOES have a boyfriend, it's not how much she is attracted to her boyfriend, but how much she is attracted to YOU that matters.

DATING TIPS: THE BREAKUP FACTOR

I'm going to tell you that breakups do not happen overnight. Most men are surprised when a woman leaves them, when they have been ignoring all the "warning signs" that have been going on for weeks/months.

It is very important to stay awake in a relationship and not take a woman for granted - unless you're waiting to get dumped.

Let me tell you how men and women break up with each other. When a man dumps a woman, he usually feels bad after dumping a woman because he still cares about her.

But when a woman initiates a breakup, the scenario is usually very different.

Why?

DATING TIPS: THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR

Have you ever been attracted to a girl who just wants to "be friends" with you? Don’t worry. In the next few moments, I am going to show you how you can turn a "friend" into a "girlfriend" without jeopardizing your friendship with her.

A lot of guys like to fantasize about befriending a hottie and sucking up to her until she finally sees what a great guy he is and starts dating him.

Ugh. It doesn't work that way.

You see, to a woman, there are 2 categories of men:

"Potential lovers" and "just friends".

DATING TIPS: THE CONTROL OR RESPONSIBILITY FACTOR

Would you like to have more control over your love life? If so, you’ll have to start being more responsible for your own actions.

Here's the magical formula of life: Control = Responsibility.

The two are inseparable.

If you want more power, then you’ll have to be more responsible. It's as simple as that. At school, if you want to join the student council, you've got to volunteer to stay after school. At work, if you want to get a promotion, then you’ve got to show your boss what you’re capable of.

DATING TIPS: THE SEXUAL TENSION FACTOR

If you're going after a girl but she's not responding to you the way you would like her to, chances are you are lacking sexual tension. So what is sexual tension?

It is the subtle force that connects two people together. You know how when you first meet a girl and there's something that draws you towards her...but at the same time, there's a great deal of "uncertainty" in the air because you're not sure if she feels the same way about you?

In time, this tension grows stronger and stronger until you can't help but to think about her day and night. The sexual tension then amplifies into LUST and you feel like you HAVE to spend more time with your girl.

Now...wouldn't it be great if you could get a girl to experience the SAME feelings towards YOU?
Of course it would.

Unfortunately, most guys are afraid of using sexual tension to attract women. They are afraid of raising this tension because of the "uncertain feelings" attached. To these guys, this tension feels foreign...or even uncomfortable.

DATING TIPS: THE EX FORCE FACTOR

The “Ex-Force” of the Smart Dating System is a term I’ve come up with to represent all the negative “external forces” in a relationship. Basically it represents all the forces of any obstacles that might have a negative impact on your love life.

Here are a few examples:

HOW TO SHOW LOVE AND TO LONG FOR LOVE

THIS LITTLE LIFE OF OURS rests between a longing to be loved and a calling to show love. These two stunning possibilities, so tender, so fugitive, are the subject of these pages.

My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.

The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.

Biology shows us that the universe is a vast web of interdependence from the cellular to the planetary level. Nothing exists by itself.

DATING TIPS: THE ATTRACTION FACTOR

The Attraction Factor is the most important factor of the Smart Dating System. In order for a woman to want to go out with you, she must FEEL attraction for you.

This is a simple concept that most guys brush off as “common sense”. But in my years of experience as a dating coach, at least 70 percent of guys fail to truly understand it. They either do not have the discipline to follow this simple rule or they choose to ignore it. (See the “Reality Factor”.)

Since the topic of “attraction” has already been thoroughly discussed in so many of my ebooks and also on my free newsletter, I’m not going to give another lengthy lecture here. (If you wish to learn more about attraction, just read the tips on my newsletter.) But here’s a quick quiz I’ve come up
with to test if you understand what “attraction” really means.

DATING TIPS: UNDERSTAND THAT GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

If you can just understand that girls/women today just want to have FUN more than ever before in history, you're going to be a lot better off if you provide it to them.

I'm talking about today's women whose role model is more Carrie from 'Sex and the City' rather than 'Ma Cleaver' from ‘Leave it to Beaver’.

Yes, things used to be very traditional and things used to work; date a few women, choose one and want to get married, get married and live together without getting divorced.

Times have changed in the past few decades.

Now there is still the teachings being taught down from our parents to 'date a woman' and basically 'court' her for MARRIAGE.

When you take this path of 'dating', you're going to be dealing with all kinds of drama and heavy handed implications that are bigger than yourself.

DATING TIPS: BE A TRUE NATURAL

Instead of trying to be the 'pick up artist' or 'approach expert', learn how to become more social and interactive with women and people in general and understand the natural process of attraction.

When you can get in touch with your natural ability to attract women and develop those characteristics, you'll realize how stupid pick up lines were in the first place.

Women don't want to be 'duped' or 'conned' and when you just do everything else right (as I teach), you'll realize that you can give them what they want and have more women than ever while still living your lifestyle.

DATING TIPS: LEARN AND USE THE SHARK TALE TECHNIQUE

This is the most powerful technique that I take over half an hour to describe in full powerful detail and scope in my "Overcoming Fear of Aphrodite's"

Audio CD program.

I can only give a very brief overview here because it's all I have time for.

If you haven't seen the animated movie 'Shark Tale,' RUN to the nearest store and buy it now on DVD or VHS (Ok after you read this).

The opening sequence and the sequence where the family of sharks are at the dinner table are some of the most powerful moments in cinematic history when it applies to dealing with women.

ALL of your power and leverage lies therein.

DATING TIPS: UNDERSTAND CULTURAL DIFFERENTIATION

When you begin to realize that there are millions of women around the world that would desire you once they got to know you and WOULD want you for the long term, you'll start seeing things differently.

If you've been wondering why women are like this or have treated you this way, don't worry about it.
They can't help the culture in which they were brought up.

For better and for worse, our social and relational dynamics have changed (even flip-flopped) from what they used to be.

That woman who you think is so hot and knows it and gets away with anything that all guys seem to want... you know the one.

Well, if she was in another culture, she may not get away with any of that; not to mention most men would never want to marry her because they know she'd be a housebreaking neuroticbitch and hell to live with.

DATING TIPS: BECOME THE MAN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE

This goes for in life and for in attracting and succeeding with beautiful women or the women you desire.

If your entire focus in life is on just becoming more effective with women, you're not being a natural man.

Fortunately, there are some things that you DO have to learn to get more in line (taught in my "Mens Guide to Women") which will allow you to live a more balance, healthy and natural life for yourself and for dealing with women and being successful with them.

When you become the man that you know you should be, you will improve yourself and do whatever it takes to become more desirable to women (and not less desirable or a social outcast).

DATING TIPS: GIVE THEM SOMETHING THEY CAN EXTRAPOLATE

This is a powerful powerful technique right here.

Most importantly, it stems from actually being (and becoming) your true self and who you were meant to be.

Women are always making judgments about men when they first see them... they HAVE TO.
First impressions are accelerated in importance times TEN when it comes to the 'dating' world.
They have to develop a solid opinion of you to prevent wasting their time or ending up with an energy draining wussbag.

Every LITTLE thing about you and especially your energy they can sense and are making judgments about and fast forwarding...i t's all they have to go off of.

Usually their 'intuition' is pretty accurate.

You do the same thing except it's more physically based with women. You're extrapolating right when you see women in a split second you'd know if you want to sleep with her or not.

With women, it takes a little longer to 'read you' but they can get a generally good idea very quickly and especially after communicating with you if they'll 'give you a chance'.

DATING TIPS: BE HONEST IN YOUR INTENTIONS

If you want to accelerate things very fast and NEVER experience rejection, you're going to have lay out your 'terms' before she even has a chance.

Doing this is a very alpha male characteristic plus you're really letting her know where you're coming from.

Even though I have done this many times before I met him, I still have to give some props for first stating this general philosophy publicly.

But it's a universal trait of highly effective alpha males and it applies to everything they're doing in their life.

We just don't have time to waste putzing around with the courtship game because it's not what we or the women we're interested in are after anyways right now.

Most importantly, just being honest about who you are, what you want and expect from her and letting her know (preferably upfront shortly after you meet) is actually a relief to most women so they don't even 'have to' reject you or play the painstaking 'dating game' of what's he thinking now/what's
she thinking now... they can just 'toe the line' to your reality or 'fall out'; it's their choice but you're moving on either way because you've got women to do, things to see.

Happy Birthday Google!

It is the 17th birthday of Google today! If I could have given the chance to ask people on what Google means to them, I probably have millions of answers now. But to sum it up the purpose of Google is to make our life easier for us.

Happy 17th Birthday Google! Looking for many years in developing and exploring all resources to help everyones life easier and happier days! Thank you Google.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONALITY BASED ON YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Blood Type O

Type O’s are outgoing, and very social. They are initiators, although they don’t always finish what they start. Creative and popular, they love to be the center of attention and appear very self confident.

Blood Type A

While outwardly calm, they have such high standards (perfectionists) that they tend to be balls of nerves on the inside. Type A’s are the most artistic of the blood groups. They can be shy, are conscientious, trustworthy, and sensitive.

Blood Type B

Goal oriented and strong minded, type B’s will start a task and continue it until completed, and completed well. Type B’s are the individualists of the blood group categories and find their own way in life.

Blood Type AB

Type AB’s are the split personalities of the blood groups. They can be both outgoing and shy, confident and timid. While responsible, too much responsibility will cause a problem. They are trustworthy and like to help others.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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BEST BLOOD TYPE COMPATIBLE TO YOU

Blood Type A

Best Traits: Conservative, introverted, reserved, patient and punctual. Perfectionists.
Worst Traits: Obsessive, stubborn, self conscious and uptight.

Blood Type B

Best Traits: Creative, passionate, animal loving, optimistic, flexible and individualistic.
Worst Traits: Forgetful, irresponsible, and self-centered.

Blood Type AB

Best Traits: Cool, controlled, rational, introverted and empathic.
Worst Traits: Aloof, critical, indecisive and unforgiving.

Blood Type O

Best Traits: Ambitious, athletic, robust and self-confident. Natural leaders.
Worst Traits: Arrogant, vain, insensitive and ruthless.


RELIGIOUS “REALITY” IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

In the religious approach to “truth,” the priest makes a prediction – “worship my God and your harvest will be good” – and then invents “sinners” to take the blame if his prediction fails to materialize. In this way, the possibility of disproof – of personal responsibility for the priest – is eliminated.

All too often this is our default position in relationships as well. We enter into relationships based on our predictions of how they will turn out. Who but a masochist would continue dating a woman if he
knew for certain she would break his heart within six months? Would you marry a woman and have children with her if you knew that she would divorce you and take you for everything you had?
Of course not.

We make predictions about relationships – and then, when those predictions fail to come true, we invent “sinners” to take the blame.

We embark upon our relationships with the highest hopes and ambitions and then, when they crash in flames or peter out into nothing, we begin mythologizing the reasons why.

PHILIOSOPHY AND INTIMACY IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

“On Truth: The Tyranny of Illusion,” and “Universally Preferable Behaviour: A Rational Proof of Secular Ethics,” mythology is the opposite of truth, since it provides the illusion of truth and so prevents further exploration.

In this I will argue that truth is a necessary prerequisite for intimacy.

“On Truth” was primarily about our relationship with our parents in the past. “Universally Preferable Behaviour” was primarily about our relationship with truth, reality and virtue in the present.

This is primarily about our relationship with ourselves and others in the future.

It is a about honesty of the most challenging and rewarding kind:

honesty with – and about – yourself.

Most times in life, we do not even know that we are lying. We do not know that we are failing to process reality – both inner and outer – correctly because we are addicted to mythology, or making up stories which drug us with the illusion of truth, rather than humbly pursuing truth in reality.

In our collective past, mythology dominated our thinking – particularly in the realms of ethics, society and reality. In the realm of ethics, we constructed vast imaginary entities such as gods, nations, states, classes and so on, all of which inevitably caused us to surrender our autonomy
and sense of personal control to the tall tales of madmen.

With regards to society – particularly family – we substituted blood and accidental proximity for virtue. We were – and are – trained by those who accidentally rule us biologically to submit to those who accidentally rule us geographically.

With regards to reality, we imagined that lurid, corrupt and insane tales about gods, devils and talking snakes could provide us some sort of truth about the material world.

The humility required to subject our wild and narcissistic imaginings to the twin disciplines of logic and evidence has been sorely lacking throughout human history, and it is not hard to see the effects of this lack of humility in the realms of science in the past and ethics in the present.

In the realm of our relationships, however, we remain positively medieval.

In the Middle Ages, when an eclipse was observed a myth was invented to “explain” the event. God was angry, a witch is among us, sinners abound and so on. Some senseless and brutal sacrifice was made, some hellish amalgam of torture and murder was inflicted on some hapless epileptic or imbecile, and “order” was restored – and anxiety reduced – to the temporary relief of all.

In the same way, in our personal relationships, when discomforts arise, we create stories to “explain away” our emotions.

If a man causes us anxiety, then he is “aggressive.” If a woman rejects us, then she is “cold.” If our child criticizes us, then he is “ungrateful.” If we get fired, our boss is “vindictive.” If our wife leaves us, women are “selfish.”


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

WHAT CULTURE HAD TO DO WITH LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

Most about relationships will talk about your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your children and so on. We will address all these in this book, but I have also included an analysis of your relationship to your society in terms of religion, politics and culture.

I don’t believe that it’s possible to effectively analyze and improve our interactions with others without taking into account the larger social or philosophical context that we inhabit. If we are to achieve our goals of honesty, integrity and true personal freedom, the values that were inflicted upon us as children by culture must be rigorously examined.

The directions that a passerby gives us will do us little good if our overall map is wrong.

Thus, this book will touch on your social, cultural and political relationships and the impact they have on your personal relationships.

Since your emotional reactions to these issues can be as strong as anything you feel about your personal relationships, excluding them from a book designed to give you happiness and peace of mind would leave the world at best half unexamined.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

REAL TIME RELATIONSHIPS: THE LOGIC OF LOVE

Some of the greatest movies of the past ten years explored what it is like to live in an illusion. “The Sixth Sense,” “Fight Club” – and, greatest of all, “The Matrix.”

Let’s start with a spoiler or two, shall we? In “The Matrix,” a young man is awakened from a computer-generated imaginary world to find that he is enslaved by robots who are paralyzing him with the illusion of life in order to harvest his electrical energy.

This is a wonderful metaphor on many levels, and tells us an enormous amount about our “relationship” with truth and reality.

In the movie, the robots that were originally invented to serve mankind end up ruling mankind and spinning an illusory “reality” which keeps their former masters entombed in the mere appearance of a life. My take on this metaphor is that it is really describing propaganda.

For instance, the government is an institution that was originally designed to serve citizens – “government by and for the people.” However, as we have seen countless times, what we create to serve us ends up ruling us.

DOs AND DON'Ts OF TEXTING RELATIONSHIPS

The modern world has seen a drastic change in the way we communicate with each other in our day to day lives. The more I think about it there more I wonder why people still send letters and birthday cards. What’s the point? Just send a nice text..

When it comes to relationships more and more couples are becoming very reliant on their mobile phones for communication and this is risky business. I am 100% happy that we are so privileged to have such amazing technology at our hands; I owe a lot to it. But in the wrong hands, texting can certainly ruin relationships. Texting can be a great way to keep things alive in a relationship and really get your partner wanting more of you.

Not to mention how good texting is for when you’re not actually with anyone yet and you want to be. Texting takes the pressure off actual phone calls and gives you time to think about your responses carefully. But don’t be fooled, texting is a serious safety hazard in a relationship.

Right, the main problem with texting is that it can really bring out your insecurities, or your partner’s. Simple texting mistakes can get either of you all worried and wondering what the hell is going on, even if the text was suppose to be nice:

1. Don’t get into the habit – I’ve put this one first because I genuinely think it’s the most
important thing any new couple should know about texting:

DON’T GET INTO THE HABIT!!!

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT KOREAN DRAMAS

I am not Korean.  I do not speak Korean either. I do not understand Korean culture as well.

I am fond of watching Korean Dramas way back up to now. I am also into Korean food and cosmetic products. How can you not be persuaded if you see how flawless and beautiful their skin are.

What do you need to know about Korean Dramas?

1. Most Korean TV series are called kdramas. It would run from 16 - 24 episodes but it depends if they cut the short because of the ratings or is extend because of the good reviews.

2. No love making scenes on TV series. Basically, Republic of Korea is more of a conservative country. It is part of their culture. Skin ship are minimized. You will surely notice it when you watch it.

3. Kiss is a big deal. Kissing scenes are like pressing the lips slightly. But a few of Kdrams have interactive kissing scene. So do not expect to much.

4. Since it is not translated or dubbed. You should learn how to read faster with the subtitles or else you will be left behind. LOL!

5. The elders are basically with higher respect to them. Even if you are a month younger than someone, you have to pay respect. If you are a guy you will call Hyung (Older brother) or Nona (Older sister). If you are a girl you will call Oppa (older brother) and Unni (older sister).

6. Prepare to crave ramen, rice, and soju and shout out Aja!, and Fighting!

7. Family is a big huge deal.

8. Extensive plastic surgery is very common in Korea.

9. There is usually one “idol” in the cast.  An “idol” is a singer/performer/musician that also acts.

10.First Love is something very important to them. They are inclined with their First love. Mostly first love is like puppy love.



If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;) 
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THE ARC OF A RELATIONSHIP

A typical dysfunctional romantic relationship tends to have distinct phases.

CAUTION
When two people meet and are romantically interested in each other, there tends to be a phase of initial caution in which they examine each other for potential compatibility.
We will call this man “Bruce,” and this woman “Sheila.” The more functional the individuals, the longer this phase lasts. If an insecure woman is looking for an insecure man, this phase tends to be
very short. When they first meet, she looks for “markers” indicating low levels of self-esteem. These can include a lack of eye contact, a nervous laugh, tattoos, drug use, compulsive joke-telling, underachievement, pomposity, or a kind of baseless arrogance.

Once Sheila establishes that Bruce’s self-esteem is either genuinely low or artificially “high,” she immediately feels more comfortable with him.

WIN OR LOSE IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

Why do these conflicts continually escalate in this manner?

One central tragedy of our lives is that we are so often raised in win/lose relationships. If our parents get offended, we are punished. If our teacher gets angry, we get detention. If we want something, someone else must give up something.

This same pattern repeats itself in all of our adult relationships. Most lovers only know how to “get their way” through either overt aggression, or passive aggression (in general, the male and female tools, respectively).

Men say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be angry.”
Women say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be sad.”

These strategies generally result from a fundamentally narcissistic approach to the world. The possibility of a win-win negotiation is never considered, because it has never been taught or demonstrated.

Let’s take a more concrete example.
My wife Christina really enjoys watching a television show called “Dancing with the Stars.” I do like watching the dance routines, but have a tough time making it through all the filler and commercials. Last night, I went upstairs to get a DVD for us to watch and then when I came downstairs saw that Christina had found the show on TV and was settling in to watch it.

I would have preferred it if she had not found the show – so that we could watch the DVD – but that was sort of out of my hands at this point.

Many couples would look upon this as a win/lose situation – that Christina would watch the show and I would suffer through the filler and commercials, or that Christina would not get to watch her show, and watch the DVD I chose instead. Or, perhaps, that Christina would tape the show and watch it on her own, or some other solution.

However, although I would have preferred to watch the DVD, I sat down and happily watched the dancing show.

How is that possible?
Well, quite simply it is possible because I take an enormous amount of pleasure in my wife’s pleasure. (Shoe shopping excepted, of course – I am only a mortal man!)

I love watching the play of delight on my wife’s face and the intensity of her enjoyment. To take pleasure in the pleasure of another human being is foundational to a loving relationship. It certainly is true that I would have received 100% pleasure from watching the DVD, and 90% pleasure from watching my wife’s enjoyment of the dancing show, but I can scarcely claim to be hard done by because I had to choose between 100% pleasure and 90% pleasure!

If you cannot take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure, then win-win negotiations become impossible. If I got +100% pleasure from watching my DVD, and -100% pleasure from watching the dancing show – and if my wife faced the reverse proposition – then one of us would have to win, and the other would have to lose.

This concept of the “minor sacrifice” is something that every couple should openly discuss and work on. I very much want my wife to be happy in our marriage, because if she is not happy then I cannot be happy either. If I get exactly what I want every single time, no matter what her preferences, then it is impossible – according to the principles of Universally Preferable Behaviour – for her to remain happy.

Since my happiness depends on remaining married to her, my happiness can never in general exceed hers in the long run.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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 DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DOs and DON'Ts IN RELATIONSHIPS

So you’ve found that special someone?

Right, here I’m going to assume that you’ve found someone you genuinely really like, are attracted to and starting a romantic relationship with. This isn’t for someone who’s found that person and wants to learn the secrets to attracting them.

There are certain do’s and don’ts that can make or break a relationship that many people just don’t realise. The repercussions of actions and words in the early stages of a relationship can manifest themselves in a relationship for as long as it lasts; which can lead to some very unhappy couples. I’m going to write this so it applies for both females and males as much as possible, but where things are different for each I will separate them and write a part for females and a part for males…

The Dos and Don’ts..

1. DON’T give in to your urges all the time – When you’re in a new relationship, it can kind of take over your life. You don’t stop thinking about them all the time, and you have those butterflies in your stomach whenever something reminds you of them. This is great, and a good sign that things are
going well for you. It’s a little bit like where you were a kid at Christmas and you got that one toy that was so much better than all your other presents. You just wanted to play with that toy and that toy only, forgetting you even had any other presents…especially that jumper that was 2 sizes too big that your grandma got you! Well do you also remember how quickly you got bored of that toy because you didn’t play with anything else? Well it’s time to grow up.

FINDING THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE

Ok this section isn’t going to be long, firstly because it’s not always the best idea to be searching to find a special someone and secondly the actual dating process is a whole different book. But what I would like to say is that there’s no harm in being picky. Knowing what you want is one of the most important things to entering a successful relationship, or any other venture you face in life. It’s
knowing what you want that keeps you striving to achieve your best and not settling for second best. If you want someone rich, someone with black hair, someone who makes you laugh then don’t stop until you have that. Fortunately love doesn’t tend to happen when someone meets a certain criteria
that we set, it usually happens when someone fills us with positive emotions and we become addicted to that feeling. Be picky, but don’t be logical. Logic has no place in actual romance and never will do. You hear countless love stories where the poor, ugly nice guy eventually gets the girl, or the girl
who’s just looking for a sensible man keeps falling in love with the bad boys. This is because
our emotions over-ride any logical thoughts we have when it comes to falling for someone.

Another reason I don’t advise searching for that special someone is because coming from the mentality that you want to find love puts you in a vulnerable place. You will be more likely to let your guard down when you meet someone who could potentially be someone you like, and you will let yourself fall for someone that normally you wouldn’t fall for.

THAT PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

We’ve all dreamt of it at some point or another.

Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then spending the rest of your lives together happily ever after. OK you can wake up now. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that then someone needs to tell me the secret. No relationship forms and lasts without its fair share of
hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the relationship stronger. But sometimes it can blow the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream you once had. That’s why it’s important to get things off to a good start from the word go.

The perfect relationship would consist of 100% trust, amazing communication and openness, the desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects of each other’s lives and to support each other through anything that life throws at you. This can happen. It just takes the right start.

I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of the book, so prepare yourself for that. But let’s face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet important challenge so they need to be told. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…right?

Unfortunately there are countless factors that contribute to how every individual behaves in a relationship so the perfect relationship would be pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one. But don’t give up, relationships can be amazing.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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32 COMMITMENTS TO LOVING KINDNESS TOWARD OURSELVES AND OTHERS

1. I do my best to keep my word, honor commitments, and follow through on the tasks I agree to do.
2. I am making every effort to abide by standards of rigorous honesty and respect in all my dealings, no matter how others act toward me.
3. I forgo taking advantage of anyone because of his or her ignorance, misfortune, or financial straits. My question is not “What can I get away with?” but “What is the right thing to do?” If I fall down in this, I can admit it, make amends, and resolve to act differently next time. Now I apologize more
easily and willingly when necessary.
4. If someone is overly generous toward me or has an exaggerated sense of obligation to me, I do not want to exploit his or her lack of boundaries. Instead, I want to express appreciation and work out an equitable way of interacting.
5. I keep examining my conscience with true candor. I take searching inventories of how I may have harmed others; how I may not have activated my potentials or shared my gifts; how I may still be holding on to prejudices or the will to retaliate; and how I may still not be as loving, inclusive,
and open as I can be.
6. I welcome feedback that shows me where I am less caring, less tolerant, and less open about my real feelings than I can be. When I am shown up as a pretender or called on being mean or inauthentic, I am not defensive but take it as information about what I have to work on. I appreciate positive feedback also.

WHAT ARE THE OTHER FORMS OF LOVE

Compassion

Another form of love is compassion. Concern for others’ pain  helps divest us of ego-centeredness. This is why compassion can so easily be a bridge to the agape style of loving.

In my own life, I noticed an advance in compassion in a singular way. I saw a film version of Macbeth, and instead of my usual dislike of the main character, I felt compassion for him. I saw how
caught up he was in ambition and fear, and I felt sorry for his woebegone state. I did not condone his murderous behavior, but I appreciated his plight in a more humane way than I had in previous readings and viewings of the play. Something had happened in me; there was a new judgment-free openness, a way of connecting to others, even when they were not very appealing. That was a
sign that I was moving more in the direction of agape, which is always a move away from judging others. I have gradually realized that openness is how love happens.

In this context, compassion is not based on pity for someone’s plight. It is not top-down but nondual. Indeed, compassion is not a virtue that we may or may not have. It is the way love, always in
us, responds to others’ pain. That pain tugs at us because of our natural bond in the worldwide human family. To forgo a compassionate response is to contravene a natural inclination. Compassion
in this sense is not just feeling sorry for the suffering of others.

WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE

Ancient Greek philosophers delineated four main types of love: storge, eros, philia, and agape.

Storge is family love, especially between parents and children. This love can endure even when there is neglect or abuse. For instance, we know we love our relatives, even though we do not always trust them to give us the five A’s. A family bond can offer safety and security but at the price of having to camouflage part of who we are. Thus, our loving connection within our family sometimes transcends even the importance of self-emergence. Signs of love may not be apparent in our relatives’ behavior, but we still know they love us and we love them; our mutual loyalty remains. In our affection for our family, we certainly learn how to practice unconditional love.

Eros is passionate love, which we experience most potently in the in-love state. Eros includes, but is not limited to, sexual passion. It is often initiated or sustained by an attraction to physical qualities. The erotic love we feel for a special someone in our lives may be part of a committed intimate bond. It can also be a feel good attachment in the moment that will not be sustained. Eros can be both a longing for and a union with the beloved. This is because eros includes pleasure from both fulfillment of our longings and our longing for fulfillment. Eros also refers to the sensuous, passionate, lively, and creative dimension to human life in general. It can therefore be active between friends or in any relationship without being manifested sexually. Carl Jung, in Dream Analysis: Notes of the Seminar,
said, “People think that Eros is sex, but not at all; Eros is relatedness.” We can appreciate intimate love as more than erotic, and it can include friendship.

WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PRACTICE

It is always up to us to expend the energy it takes to act with love in accordance with the grace we are given. Thus, love is a practice. We do not have to strive for love; it is in us already, but it takes
practice to show it. Some specific ways of practicing love are by showing what I call the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These are the components of love
that make a relationship a truly caring connection. They can be directed toward ourselves and others.

• We pay attention with an engaged and sustained alertness to the needs and feelings of ourselves and others, both by listening and by awareness of nonverbal cues. We are genuinely interested in who we and others really are and what we/they feel.
• We accept ourselves and others just as we are, free of judgments or censure. At the same time, we are discerning. We acknowledge the appealing side of ourselves and others all the way to the top and the unappealing side all the way to the bottom, while love continues unchecked and undiminished.
• We appreciate, or value, ourselves and others. To value people is to cherish their worth. It is an unconditional worth since it cannot be damaged or erased. It is not based on behavior, history, successes, or failures. Appreciation also includes acknowledgment of the good that others do and thanking them and of the goodness they are and praising it.

WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A GRACE

We do not accomplish such a magnificent feat entirely on our  own. Thus, love is also a grace we were given at birth, part of our human endowment, a gift that can be opened and reopened all
through life. Grace is the special help that seems to come to us from beyond our ego. Thus, it is from a source that transcends our powers of control. We cannot make it happen, but it can’t help but
happen when we are open to it.

In Sonnet 87, Shakespeare alludes to grace: “The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting.” Grace is not based on our efforts or accomplishments;

WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PURPOSE

Love also serves as a life purpose, determining why we are here and how we fulfill ourselves.

Our life purpose can be to show all the love we have in every area of life—to ourselves, to everyone we know, to everyone on the planet, and to the planet itself.

Since each of us has a unique way of loving, our life purpose is to manifest our love in a style uniquely our own.

In this context, love can be felt as a calling, an impulse from within and beyond us to make our personal contribution to the world.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A COMMITMENT

As a commitment, love is likewise a verb.

It shows an ongoing and enduring dedication to acting in a trustworthy manner and in the best interests of others.

We are committed to loving unconditionally.

Thus, we want the best for others no matter how they treat us, although our commitment to loving ourselves does not allow us to take abuse.

Our commitment to loving in a relationship means keeping agreements, wanting the best for the other person, and working things out when conflicts arise.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A QUALITY

As a quality, love is a way of acting toward others. It is not a noun referring to an entity or abstraction. We cannot reify love or any other quality. It is like an adverb in grammar. It shows how
something is done. For instance, “I touched her lovingly” shows how I touched her.

The quality of our love increases as we show it more deeply and generously in our behavior. The quantity, or extent, of our love increases as we feel and show it to more people—from near and
dear to far and wide.

There is no compassion, love, or peace in a stand-alone or abstract way. They are human qualities, and we are truly human when they are our natural style of being in the world. Our humanity
is complete when we are compassion, are love, are peace.

Then we automatically show them everywhere and to everyone. The mystic poet William Blake sums this up so beautifully:
For Mercy has a human heart,
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine,
And Peace, the human dress.



If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS CAPACITY

As a capacity, love is our potential to form connections and commit to them. Each of us has the faculty to love fully beginning anytime, especially now.

We never lose our power and ability to let love into our lives and to act lovingly. The capacity to love cannot be canceled or erased by our past, no matter how damaging our experiences may have been.

What can be damaged are our ways of showing love and our expectations of what it should be. How little we have loved so far does not predict how much we can love now or in the future.



If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS TOO ELUSICE

You are as prone to love as the sun is to shine; it being the most delightful and natural employment of the soul. —THOMAS TRAHERNE

LOVE IS TOO ELUSIVE and individualized to permit a definition. However, we can ask, “What can love be?” This is not a definition but a request for an ever-renewed invitation, something we can
keep daring to enter, like Alice persevering in her adventures in Wonderland.

We have described love by identifying its most basic ingredient: connection. The word connection is based on two Latin words: con meaning “together” and nectere meaning to bind or tie. The word was originally spelled connexion to reflect the past tense of the verb nectere, which is nexus. Love is a nexus that can happen along a wide spectrum. It can take many forms, from sending a kind letter to being sexually intimate to feeling a mystical oneness.

We are social animals, so connection is important to our survival. We imagine that connection can outlast our physical life, and thus it is usually included in our idea of a heavenly afterlife. We
picture heaven as a place where we will be united with our loved ones. That makes hell a place of disconnection, exclusion, excommunication. We recall the words of Father Zossima in Fyodor
Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov: “Hell is the suffering of no longer being able to love.” This gives us an insight into the metaphor of hell: It is more about mourning our love failures than about punishment for not being loving. Love is a connection that is caring, intended for good, respectful
of freedom, and genuinely sensitive to another’s needs, even making those needs as important as our own. This shift in attention to the needs of others deflates our own sense of self-importance.

WHERE TO BEGIN IN LIFE, IS LOVE THE SAFEST PLACE

THIS LITTLE LIFE OF OURS rests between a longing to be loved and a calling to show love. These two stunning possibilities, so tender, so fugitive, are the subject of these pages.
I must admit, however, as any book on love must be. My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize  that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.

The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.

Biology shows us that the universe is a vast web of interdependence from the cellular to the planetary level. Nothing exists by itself. There is no being-in-itself only being-in-relation-to. So to be is to be connected. Thus, relatedness, or connection, is the essence of our and of all being. Reality is relatedness. John Muir must have grasped this mystical fact when he wrote, “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.”

DATING TIPS: TRULY BE YOURSELF

Another counter-counter-intuitive breakthrough.

This includes stating your opinion and saying what you REALLY think and feel about things or in certain situations or response.

People relax more because they see where you're coming from and will even trust you more, provided you show that you are a trustworthy character.

I've steered away from certain people who I've extrapolated bad or negative energy or data from and it helped me because they were being themselves. So I hope that you are a positive guy with admirable qualities so that people can enjoy your company and experience when you're being yourself. And if you're really a disturbed person develop better qualities and then be yourself...

I don't know what to say there but you could still attract unhealthy minded women towards you for sex only if you know you have certain issues; most normal, healthy
men don't though.

I'm talking about being yourself upfront with a woman, TRULY.

DATING TIPS: RESPECT WOMEN

Now before you think either way what this could mean, read what I have to say.
I'm not talking about being a pansy or a nice guy.

Most guys 'act nice' and are NOT really being themselves, they just want to please her to ultimately get something in the end or really ARE afraid of her.

If you've been a 'nice guy' to women and end up as their friends... well are you really acting like yourself?

Or are you changing your entire physiology when a woman steps in the room?

You're actually disrespecting her by objectifying her and building up a mountain of false added value within yourself and placing a perception onto her without even giving her a chance.

Just be a man and give her a chance to see if she's more than just a pretty face; she'll respect YOU for being yourself.

DATING TIPS: LIVE IN YOUR REALITY

What really matters in your life is you.

And if you can keep your power for yourself and stop putting so much energy into showing overt interest in women, you'll discover that they'll start being attracted to you.

Especially because most men are throwing themselves at her and you're different.

She'll wonder why you aren't interested in her as well.

If you're living your reality and show to her that it's stronger than her socially 'approved' reality, and really are grounded in that power (connected to universal understanding), you're going to have massive power in your favor when it comes to naturally attracting women... this is what they want
anyways... a man who has his own things going on, who isn't 'desperate' to get women.

They want a man who can hold his own and not be thrown off in the presence of 'her highness'.

DATING TIPS: THINK ABUNDANTLY INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON ONE WOMAN

So many guys get caught up in the woman that is right in front of them or a 'special girl' that is just so wondrous and 'perfect'.

What they're doing is adding all kinds of value to her from their own perception without really knowing who she is (the other side of her).

Then if they marry her, they get to find out the 'other side' of her.

Most of the time a woman who is seemingly everything a man could want really ISN'T.
When she becomes the focus in the relationship dynamic between you two, the natural paradigm is shifted and she will resent it (having the power)... this never fails.

You start calling a woman too much and telling her 'she's everything' -- the phone calls will drop off and she'll 'need some time'.

It's simple, you betrayed the natural paradigm of being the lead in the relationship so that she can respond to you.

DATING TIPS: MAKE CONNECTIONS

Notice I didn't say 'approach women'.

I think that has a certain stigma which brings out past feelings of ineffectiveness in men creating more of a barrier to break. Living a healthy, balanced and social life however, you can 'make
connections'.

The most important things in life that you remember are experiences you have shared with other people.

In fact, all relationships must start with a connection... in a way, this is the essence of life and everything everyone hoped for.

You can continue to live in a fantasy world alone OR you can start making connections with women.
You don't have to do it all the time or every opportunity, but once you start developing a more interdependent state of mind and become more naturally proactive (instead of shark attack aggressive and focused on pussy), you can be meeting women and talking to them (and other people) everywhere you go.

No man is an island.

DATING TIPS: BECOME A MORE SOCIAL, INTERDEPENDENT PERSON

The beauty of this is that it's aligned to being a natural man who women are attracted to without having any of the creepy vibe that comes with going out of your way to approach her or trying to 'get something' from her.

It starts off nice and natural when you're being just a social person.

Once you start communicating with her, you can take it from PG-13 to rated R if you feel she is responsive to you.

Being social and naturally communicative stems from wanting to add value out into the world and never depends on seeking someone else's approval because you have your boundaries but you can share a lot of things with people because that's what life is about.

Ever notice how the life of the party guy usually has women all around him?
Well, why can't that be you?

Maybe it already IS you on the inside but you just need to bring it outwards.

My Beautiful Distraction