Let me share you my personal story. I used to be in a relationship which lasted 10 years. That was my first relationship.
First Month
For the first month it was good, getting to know each other well and doesn't expect anything in return. I was practically in a good mood I guess.
Second Month
When it comes down to our second month, I told my partner that if there will be a chance that he will like someone else in the future, he should be truthful and tell me about it and I will gladly set him free. For the least all I want is a relationship with respect regardless of any reason we depart. I really aim for that. It is a small world after all, do not want anything grudges or bad vibes hanging in any corners of my horizon.
Fifth Month
Allow me to fast forward. We had our first fight. I suspected that he was messaging his exes behind my back, and I was perfectly right about it all along. I saw his phone by accident while he was sending a message and twas flooded with all the messages when we had our good nights after a long day. All along, I thought everything was okay about us. That was all I thought. My Bad. I confronted him, and asked him if he still has feelings for them.
M: Do you still have baggage for your exes?
H: No
M: Are you sure?
H: Yes
M: Explain to me why do you still wants to keep on communicating them?
H: ... (no answer)
M: This wont do. Let's break up!
H: I don't want to. I am sorry. It is just random but it doesn't mean anything.
M: You expect me to believe all of these are random?
H: It doesn't mean anything. No feelings involve.
M: You do this behind my back. How come are you hiding?
H: Because you won't understand
M: I won't understand because you didn't tell me.
H: I will not messages them from now on. I will delete everything now. (deleting all messages and numbers)
M: Let's break up.
After a while, he keep on asking for forgiveness. Kneeling and crying with all of those promises of not doing it again.
We got back again.
But it was never an easy phase to me. I never realized that he keeps on doing this behind my back not with his phones but on social medias. He communicates with them again and again and again. I am not the type who check everything. I respect space. I trust and love him with everything I know of in-spite it was my first relationship. It took me 2 years to discover these activities but it not only his exes are involve but some other girls as well. I figured that he liked this other girl with the name of Rosa. He not only chat him through social media but also calls from morning until evening and messaging her in cellphone all through out the day. I was in awe. I did not even expect this to happen this bad. He was angry of me for me to have seen these, that it was all because of me that he did this.
I just laugh how crazy this person is pointing fingers at me for his doing. But because it was my first relationship, I believed that it was maybe my fault. I may have lack something that lead him to do this. We broke up for good. I was really hurt. I cry and cry myself to sleep. Of course, I tried to patch things up with him. But I got all the hateful words from him. I was completely destroyed. Without anything left from me. I give him time, effort, attention, love, everything that I have. But maybe everything I have is not even enough.
After 2 months of break up. I slowly got back on my feet again. I go out with friends. I get to meet other people. I went out and go date those men who my friends are introducing me. I was not ready yet for a relationship. I am not completely heal as well.
One day, I saw my ex in front of my parents house, waiting for me. I was with my friend that time and she will do sleep in my room that night yet she has to wait because have to see my ex for a bit. He went to my parents house to ask me who I went out with the past day. A friend of his saw me and a date having dinner. That may have strike his ego. I was very angry. I told him who I go out with is not your business anymore. He told me to protect myself, because people will say bad things about me.
I said, The hell I care about other people. They can say anything they want about me. They are not important to me so their opinion doesn't matter at all.
He firmly say that my reputation has become bad because of the dates I had.
I told him. I am single. I can meet anyone I want.
Then he left.
After a while, he visited again. He said sorry and all. But I am still in rage. I was angry because felt played. I feel like a fool. I feel so small when we broke up. Now that I am starting to live again, here he comes wanting to have me back.
A month after, I went out of the country. I thought I should ease my heart and clear my brain from all the hardship because of love. I feel alive again. I stayed their for 3 weeks and thought of finding a job. But things didn't work out because my parents wants me back. I went back with a heavy heart. I fell apart with my friends because they feel that if I get back I might rekindle with my ex.
The day I got back, he went to my parents house and hug me tight. I said wait. Please stop.
He tried to court me again for 6 months. He gave me an engagement ring. But I was not happy at all. It didn't move me in tears. I asked my parents and they gave me a go sign. I accept the ring and forgave him.
Then we are okay again.
That's what I thought. LOL!
I saw him having a conversation again in a social media with random girls. Again... behind my back.
Still I forgive him again. I trusted his words.
All the while, We were okay. Have petty fights but not always. I was happy, I believe I was. I was contented with our relationship. I trusted him again. I gave him space. I was busy with work and my life since we decided to live together.
10 years after
We had a fight a night before so I gave him a cold treatment. I do the laundry and he was busy doing something on the couch with his cellphone and laptop. I need mind at all. I didn't really care. Then I fell asleep. After a 2 hours, I woke up. I caught him in the act of having a sexual thing conversation and action with a girl. I took his phone and his laptop. I read the messages and I was so shocked that it was for a while already. It goes on for the past 6 years without me knowing. I was so devastated. I was deeply ruin. I was so angry. I took somethings and throw on the floor. I was crying and crying hard. I feel dirty. I was so down. I wasn't respected nor loved. Right in front of me, he do these things. But I never even suspected. I feel insulted. I feel miserable. I feel dizzy. But I was in rage with so much anger. It was only 2 o'clock in the morning. My sleepiness vanished like thin air. I feel horrible. I feel that I was treated like garbage. I was totally fooled. I feel useless and worthless. That I am not enough that what I have is never enough.
That for the past 10 years that I was with him. I was never really loved. I was never treasured. I was treated as someone who is convenient to be with for the time being. That anybody can always take away the spot I have. Anybody will do.
I asked myself, am I worthy of these? Is all my effort, time, love, sacrifices, attention not even worth more? I feel so small again. All I can do is cry. I am a cheap and easy target. Naive.
I do not know how can men cheats with their love ones. Whether in marriage or in boyfriend/girlfriend stage. Why do they choose to hurt other people? It is easy to say sorry, but they cannot mend the pain in the heart. They cannot erase the flashbacks of hurtful memories in the mind and how they take away those smiles. What a horrible person!
One day, Happiness will come. Someone will love you unconditionally and will treasure you more than you treasure yourself. There will always be a rainbow after a rain. So cheer up! Sometimes we need to experience bad ones to appreciate the good.
Happiness is always a choice. Choose to be happy!
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
H: No
M: Are you sure?
H: Yes
M: Explain to me why do you still wants to keep on communicating them?
H: ... (no answer)
M: This wont do. Let's break up!
H: I don't want to. I am sorry. It is just random but it doesn't mean anything.
M: You expect me to believe all of these are random?
H: It doesn't mean anything. No feelings involve.
M: You do this behind my back. How come are you hiding?
H: Because you won't understand
M: I won't understand because you didn't tell me.
H: I will not messages them from now on. I will delete everything now. (deleting all messages and numbers)
M: Let's break up.
After a while, he keep on asking for forgiveness. Kneeling and crying with all of those promises of not doing it again.
We got back again.
But it was never an easy phase to me. I never realized that he keeps on doing this behind my back not with his phones but on social medias. He communicates with them again and again and again. I am not the type who check everything. I respect space. I trust and love him with everything I know of in-spite it was my first relationship. It took me 2 years to discover these activities but it not only his exes are involve but some other girls as well. I figured that he liked this other girl with the name of Rosa. He not only chat him through social media but also calls from morning until evening and messaging her in cellphone all through out the day. I was in awe. I did not even expect this to happen this bad. He was angry of me for me to have seen these, that it was all because of me that he did this.
I just laugh how crazy this person is pointing fingers at me for his doing. But because it was my first relationship, I believed that it was maybe my fault. I may have lack something that lead him to do this. We broke up for good. I was really hurt. I cry and cry myself to sleep. Of course, I tried to patch things up with him. But I got all the hateful words from him. I was completely destroyed. Without anything left from me. I give him time, effort, attention, love, everything that I have. But maybe everything I have is not even enough.
After 2 months of break up. I slowly got back on my feet again. I go out with friends. I get to meet other people. I went out and go date those men who my friends are introducing me. I was not ready yet for a relationship. I am not completely heal as well.
One day, I saw my ex in front of my parents house, waiting for me. I was with my friend that time and she will do sleep in my room that night yet she has to wait because have to see my ex for a bit. He went to my parents house to ask me who I went out with the past day. A friend of his saw me and a date having dinner. That may have strike his ego. I was very angry. I told him who I go out with is not your business anymore. He told me to protect myself, because people will say bad things about me.
I said, The hell I care about other people. They can say anything they want about me. They are not important to me so their opinion doesn't matter at all.
He firmly say that my reputation has become bad because of the dates I had.
I told him. I am single. I can meet anyone I want.
Then he left.
After a while, he visited again. He said sorry and all. But I am still in rage. I was angry because felt played. I feel like a fool. I feel so small when we broke up. Now that I am starting to live again, here he comes wanting to have me back.
A month after, I went out of the country. I thought I should ease my heart and clear my brain from all the hardship because of love. I feel alive again. I stayed their for 3 weeks and thought of finding a job. But things didn't work out because my parents wants me back. I went back with a heavy heart. I fell apart with my friends because they feel that if I get back I might rekindle with my ex.
The day I got back, he went to my parents house and hug me tight. I said wait. Please stop.
He tried to court me again for 6 months. He gave me an engagement ring. But I was not happy at all. It didn't move me in tears. I asked my parents and they gave me a go sign. I accept the ring and forgave him.
Then we are okay again.
That's what I thought. LOL!
I saw him having a conversation again in a social media with random girls. Again... behind my back.
Still I forgive him again. I trusted his words.
All the while, We were okay. Have petty fights but not always. I was happy, I believe I was. I was contented with our relationship. I trusted him again. I gave him space. I was busy with work and my life since we decided to live together.
10 years after
We had a fight a night before so I gave him a cold treatment. I do the laundry and he was busy doing something on the couch with his cellphone and laptop. I need mind at all. I didn't really care. Then I fell asleep. After a 2 hours, I woke up. I caught him in the act of having a sexual thing conversation and action with a girl. I took his phone and his laptop. I read the messages and I was so shocked that it was for a while already. It goes on for the past 6 years without me knowing. I was so devastated. I was deeply ruin. I was so angry. I took somethings and throw on the floor. I was crying and crying hard. I feel dirty. I was so down. I wasn't respected nor loved. Right in front of me, he do these things. But I never even suspected. I feel insulted. I feel miserable. I feel dizzy. But I was in rage with so much anger. It was only 2 o'clock in the morning. My sleepiness vanished like thin air. I feel horrible. I feel that I was treated like garbage. I was totally fooled. I feel useless and worthless. That I am not enough that what I have is never enough.
That for the past 10 years that I was with him. I was never really loved. I was never treasured. I was treated as someone who is convenient to be with for the time being. That anybody can always take away the spot I have. Anybody will do.
I asked myself, am I worthy of these? Is all my effort, time, love, sacrifices, attention not even worth more? I feel so small again. All I can do is cry. I am a cheap and easy target. Naive.
I do not know how can men cheats with their love ones. Whether in marriage or in boyfriend/girlfriend stage. Why do they choose to hurt other people? It is easy to say sorry, but they cannot mend the pain in the heart. They cannot erase the flashbacks of hurtful memories in the mind and how they take away those smiles. What a horrible person!
One day, Happiness will come. Someone will love you unconditionally and will treasure you more than you treasure yourself. There will always be a rainbow after a rain. So cheer up! Sometimes we need to experience bad ones to appreciate the good.
Happiness is always a choice. Choose to be happy!
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
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