When it comes to dating, you should avoid using third-parties to communicate, especially if you're trying to get a number or a date. Always approach or deal with a woman directly.

One of the things that women are REALLY concerned about when it comes to romance and dating is privacy. The private matters between you and her should always remain between just you and her. Just like a woman will NOT like it if you tell everybody you've been sleeping with her, she will NOT like it too much if you get other people to give you her number or to ask her out for you.

Think about it. Do you really expect her to say "yes" to a date through a third party and let the whole world know that she might like you?

Similarly, NEVER get a number off a third-party. Always approach a woman and ask for her number yourself. Calling a woman who did NOT give you her number personally is just creepy. Some may even call it "stalking."

If you don't know how to get a number yourself, then
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I'm often asked, "Marius, I work in retail and lots of hot women come into the store every day. Should I be asking them out?"

My advice is to avoid it as you don't want to create unnecessary "drama" in the workplace.

Ask yourself these questions:
1) What if one of the customers turns out to be a psycho and reports you for harassment?
2) What if your boss doesn't like you getting more attention from women than he does?
3) What if your co-workers use this as an excuse to backstab you?
4) What if your female boss likes you and thinks you're an asshole for flirting with other women?
5) What if your boss uses this as an excuse to fire you?

And the list goes on and on...

Listen. Keep work away from dating. There's an old saying, "Don't sht* where you eat."

It TOTALLY applies to dating too.

However, you CAN flirt with these women lightly IF it can help the store sell more. If you're merely flirting with these women for the purpose of MAKING SALES, then your boss and coworkers can't really have anything against you since you're just doing your job. Just avoid taking it too far or turning your workplace into a "hunting ground" for women!


If you need help getting attention from women, you should consider getting yourself a couple of "props" that will get women (and people in general) to be curious about you.

These may be cool clothing or jewelry items that are a bit unique or out of place, or they may be gadgets that are a little bit unconventional.

For example, one of my favorite items years ago was actually the first portable PDA keyboard that came out. Every time I took it out at the coffee shop, I would have random strangers asking questions about what it was. And even if they didn't ask questions, they would still have curious glances at it - meaning I could intercept the eye contact and smile to start a conversation. It's too bad PDA's are so common now!

Another favorite prop of mine was a pair of "floating sun glasses" (a magic trick) that I would float on and off casually in front of a crowd. It gave me tons of attention.

Little animals also work wonders. If you know a friend with a small dog (it has to be small), borrow it and take it out for an afternoon. Small dogs are real chick-magnets! The only downside to them is that sometimes they get more attention than you!


Here are a few classes that you can take to become more attractive to women:

1) Wine Tasting:
Knowing about wine and where they came from can help you become more sophisticated and charming. Real romantic men know their wine because they know how to enjoy life.

2) Cooking:
As I've mentioned many times in the past, "food" is one of the easiest ways to get into a woman's pants AND heart. Learn to cook well, and thou shall be rewarded!

3) Massage:
This is a GREAT way to get a woman ready for sex. Most women cannot say "no" to a great backrub - especially if they KNOW you're good!

4) Music: Learn to play the guitar. Invest a hundred bucks on a cheap guitar and a few cheap chord books and learn it for half an hour every night. You'll quickly become the center of attention at house parties.

5) Writing: Take a few creative writing classes and work on a screenplay or novel in your spare time. This way, you can call yourself a writer - which raises your coolness by a couple of points in a woman's eyes.

6) Dance / Yoga: You'll be surrounded and OUTNUMBERED by women. Need I say more?


Today I am going to show you three great places you can go to if you want to meet women.

1) Dance Class
Dance classes are great for meeting women, because in many dance classes, the women are going to outnumber you ten to one.

Depending on what kind of dance class you take, the women in it may also be extremely hot. In my experience, the classes with the most guys are usually tap and hip-hop classes. (Don't ask me why tap is more popular than other dances among guys. I have no idea.)

If you have the guts to take a beginner's ballet class (you probably won't have to wear tights, but it's still pretty girly...), I can bet you're going to be surrounded by many women.

2) Yoga Class
Yoga classes are also great for meeting women.

If you do sign up for a yoga classes, remember that many of the women you meet are probably going to be "New-Age" women. So you may want to borrow a book or two on astrology and other "New-Age" subjects so that you can have something to talk about.

If you're in great physical shape, you can also try Capoeira which is a Brazilian martial art with a lot of acrobats involved. Depending on your location, there may be a lot of women.

3) Community Theatre
You can also audition for a community play or musical. Community theatre often has a lot of single younger women who are doing shows because they want to become professional actresses one day. They are great to hit on. In a musical, men are often outnumbered by women. And since most of the other men are probably going to be gay, you're going to have all the girls to yourself.


Here are tens ways to get a woman to be more playful with you.

1) Poke her.
2) Tackle her.
3) Lift her up.
4) Challenge her to arm wrestling.
5) Play thumb war with her.
6) Give her a piggy back ride...and run as fast as you can.
7) Throw something tiny at her. Then look away and whistle as she looks at you.
8) Steal something from her and make her wrestle you to get it back.
9) Twirl her around.
10) Pinch her nose and shake it like she's a plush toy.

Use these sample techniques as a blueprint for coming up with your own techniques. Remember that the key is to be playful and focus on having fun instead of "getting results!


Here are 10 ways to start touching a woman.

1) Hug her as soon as you greet her at the door. Squeeze her a bit too tight when you hug her.
2) Touch her arm to emphasize a point while you're chatting.
3) Guide her through a busy crowd by putting your hand on her lower back.
4) Do a fake palm reading for her.
5) Use my candle wax technique to hold her hand.
6) Give her a neck massage.
7) Tickle her.
8) Tell her you worked out today and ask her to feel your biceps.
9) Ask her to flex for you so you can feel her biceps. Then feel up the rest of her body playfully as you say "Niiiiice."
10) Just go for holding her hand while you're walking on the street.


Here are 10 ways to tease a woman while making out with her.

1) Touch her close to her breasts, but not directly on them.
2) Touch her where her clothes meet her skin.
3) Run your hands up and down her spine.
4) Play with her boobs but stay away from her nipples.
5) Trail your kisses closer her closer to her lips but pullback just before you get to her mouth.
6) Smell and kiss her neck...and nothing else.
7) Tug onto her hair sporadically.
8) Breathe faster and faster into her ears.
9) Masturbate her through her underwear.
10) Massage her ass and linger a finger close to her butt hole. But don't actually do anything.


Here are 10 signs a woman COULD be ready to be kissed.

1) She lets you stroke her hair.
2) She sits on you and "opens" her neck towards you.
3) She breaks eye contact, checks out your lips, and then makes eye contact again.
4) She leans her face awfully close to yours.
5) She has invited you to kiss her cheek before.
6) She's very flirty and physical with you.
7) She can sense you're romantically interested in her and she's flirting back.
8) She leans closer when you whisper into her ear.
9) You're already holding her hand.
10) She welcomes your romantic touching.


Here are a couple of kissing techniques that you can use.
Remember to vary them to keep things exciting!

1) Kissing Technique: Triumverat
Kiss her lightly between the eyes, then on the tip of her nose, and finally on the lips.

2) Kissing Technique: Top And Bottom
Kiss her on her top lip, then the bottom lip, and finally both.

3) Kissing Technique: Lick Her Lightly
Run the tip of your tongue slowly along your girl’s lips.

4) Kissing Technique: Kiss Her Earlobes
Gently kiss, nibble, and suck on her earlobe. This trick can drive a woman WILD.

5) Kissing Technique: Kiss Her Neck
Trace the sides of her neck with your lips and tongue.

6) Kissing Technique: Front OF Neck
Kiss the front of her neck with your lips and tongue.

7) Kissing Technique: Tease And Denial
Kiss everywhere but her lips, until she pulls you to their lips. You can also use this trick on other sensitive spots. For example, you can tease one of her nipples by kissing AROUND it until you finally kiss it.

8) Kissing Technique: The Sensual Kiss
Look in her eyes and whisper you want to kiss her.
Press your lips gently to hers', caress her lips with yours and give her a passionate kiss.

9) Kissing Technique: Forehead Rub
Rub your forehead with your girl gently and kiss her.

10) Kissing Technique: Nose Rub
Gently rub the tips of your noses together and kiss.


A common mistake I see men make all the time with women is that they try too hard to not "offend" women.
Big mistake.

Most women are not looking for a “nice” guy to follow them around. They are looking for a “real man” who can give them the “sparks” they want in a relationship.

And guess what? Sparks are often created by “friction”, not by “agreement”.

This is why guys who are always afraid of taking risks or “offending women” are usually not very good at attracting women either. By not taking any risks, they're actually ruining their chances because they are not creating the “sparks” they need to make women fall in love with them.

From now on, stop being afraid of disagreeing with a woman you like.

Don’t be afraid of saying “no” to her.

See your interactions with her as “playful wrestling”.

Pin her down sometimes, and let her flip you over and come out on top at other times. As long as you’re both having fun, it’s all good! It's about the fun, not about keeping score or trying to suck up to each other!


Here's something I've learned about attracting women a few years ago:
If you feel like you're trying too hard with a woman, you probably are.

For example, if you walk up to a woman to compliment her, and when you do, your throat feels dry because you can "feel" you're being lame and you can "sense" that the woman thinks you're lame too, you're probably right!

So what do you do if you find yourself in such a situation?

The key is to pull back and start acting like a challenge IMMEDIATELY.

For example, if you've just complimented her on her watch and you're beating yourself over it in your mind because you know it's a normal-looking watch and she can tell you're trying too hard, immediately follow up by saying something "bad" about it to tease her. (Example: "Too bad the face is so small. How do you read the time? You must have small eyes.")

Next, look into her eyes and smile to let her know you were kidding about the whole thing. DON'T LOOK AWAY until she does. This will give you back some power and make her forget how uncomfortable you were just a few minutes ago.

Finally, cut the conversation thread and change topics COMPLETELY. This will help ease the awkwardness and make you seem less desperate. (It will also help if you pull back and flirt with other girls in front of her.)


A comment that I get from my readers all the time is that dating seems a lot like selling.

In many ways, it is.

The biggest similarity between dating and selling is that both are based on "selling" to the emotions, not to the logic.

In sales, customers buy due to emotional reasons and later justify their purposes with pseudo "logic". They buy because of the perceived benefits, not because of the features.

Women do the same thing when they fall in love with a guy. They fall in OR out of love with a man and THEN rationalize their decision based on some bull**** reason. And if a relationship turns south while a woman is still VERY attracted to a guy, she will start "covering up" for him by rationalizing the man's actions to prove that he's "not so bad" after all - even if it means building illogical fantasies on top of each other. (My favorite: "He's seeing this woman because he can't admit to himself how much he loves me."

Keep this in mind when you attract a woman. You don't want to "convince" a woman to fall in love with you. Instead, you want to "tempt" them into falling in love with you.

The moment you try to show or convince a woman that you "would" make a good boyfriend, you've already "lost the sale!"


Here's an important concept to remember when you're out practicing your dating skills:

Focus on your actions, not on the results.

For example, instead of worrying about how many phone numbers you've gotten so far, worry about how many women you've asked.

And instead of worrying about how many women reacted to your flirting positively, focus on how many women you've approached and the PROCESS of flirting with these women.

Finally, instead of worrying about getting a girlfriend or finding your soul mate, focus on meeting as many new friends - male and female - as possible. Expand your social circle, and love will come.

These attitude adjustments may seem tiny and insignificant, but they will make your experiences a lot more fun and enjoyable in the long run!


I have a question for you:
How passionate are you?
By passionate, I don't mean being romantically passionate.

What I mean is...do you have an area of life that you're REALLY passionate about?
Women are naturally attracted to men with "purpose".

It doesn't matter what you are passionate about, as long as you are passionate about SOMETHING. (Except video games and computer programming, of course...) What matters the most is that you're willing to be PASSIONATE about it and to EXCEL at it.

Here's a good example. I have a hippie friend who's full of bullsh**. He's very passionate about bringing an end to capitalism and turning the world into a "better place" for everyone to live in. This guy has like NO logic at all and anyone with a decent education should be able to see through his conspiracy theories in a minute.

But guess what? He still pulls in a lot of women for one-night stands. Eventually the women will see he's more talk than action, but they always think he's the next Karl Marx and fall hard for him when they first meet him.

Hey Marius! Thanks for the thank you email and the offer to help out 24/7.
That is the sign of a good businessman. I was apprehensive when I first bought your materials, but after a few minutes, I knew it was right on.

I am 33 and have gone through women like crazy. I was gifted with looks and developed my body through intense weight training and cardio for the past 15 years. I turn their heads, but haven't been able to hang on to the ones I liked. You have shown me in a matter of minutes everything I have done wrong. I feel like a kid with a new toy and started using your techniques already, with notable success, I might add.
Thanks for helping out!

Scott (Kevin)
To women, he has every characteristic of a man with purpose. He fits into the "rebel" archetype perfectly.
Of course, I am not suggesting you to be full of bullsh**. What I want you to do is to find your OWN passion and be VOCAL about it.

If you like music, start a band.
If you like magic, do stage shows.

And most important of all, actually have SUBSTANCE behind all that talk. This will make women want to STAY with you in a relationship after you have attracted them.

Focus on a few key areas of your life, and in a few months you'll see more women drawn towards you!


Do women seem to always walk all over you? If so, why does it happen?
Well…actually, let us backtrack a little bit first.

Do you know why people lie, cheat, rob, and do other horrible things?

It's because they know they *can*.
Bullies look for people they KNOW they can bully.

Robbers rob people who look like they are easy to rob. Many self-defense experts stress that if you can look into the eyes of a potential attacker without showing fear, they will often stop and run away.

Heck, many soldiers in third world countries are probably killing innocent people right now because they know they "can".

Sounds crazy? For years, psychologists have shown that people will often do “bad” things if they know they can get away with it. In many studies, innocent little children have stolen candy when they thought nobody was watching, and adults have taken money from a dropped wallet before taking it to a lost and found box because they figured the lost and found system would be anonymous anyway.

A more recent study has shown that just having a poster of a pair of eyes on the wall is enough to stop people from committing these naughty acts because they feel they are being watched. In other words, this is hard-wired into our genetics – we behave ourselves when our brains think there are consequences…and misbehave when our brains think we can misbehave.

In a relationship, it is natural for a couple to test each other's boundaries to see what they can “get away with."
For example, women will often subconsciously do silly things to see what kind of reaction they can get from a guy.

That's part of courtship. If the guy doesn't give the woman a wimpy response, her attraction will go up because she knows he has respect for himself.

Guys also do the same thing. At the beginning of the courtship, he will often keep pushing to see how far she will go sexually. If she is too easy, he’ll think she’s a slut.

So…if women are always walking over you and not giving you the kind of respect you deserve, it’s because you let them!

From now on, if a woman acts bitchy or mistreats you, don’t be afraid of standing up for yourself.
As I always say, stand up for yourself and don’t take any bullsh** from women, no matter how hot they are.
If a woman tells you she wants to “start seeing other people” because she’s not sure about the relationship, let her date other guys all she wants – by throwing her out of the house!


Here's a little bit of "Smart Dating Probabilities" that I thought I would share with you.

Probability Theorem #1: Your Success Rate Is Always 50% If You Approach A Woman

According to "Smart Dating Probabilities", when you approach a woman, you always have a fifty percent of getting her.
Why? Because you "either get her or you don't."
Yes, it's a silly way of looking at it - but it helps your attitude.

Probability Theorem #2: Your Success Rate Is Always 0% If You Don't Approach

On the other hand, if you don't approach a woman at all, then your success rate will be zero.
So would you rather approach a woman and have a at least fifty percent of winning, or would you rather not approach her and "lose" a hundred percent for sure?

Probability Theorem #3: Just Assume The Rules Work 100%

The third "Smart Dating Probability Theorum" is that you should "always" assume the "Smart Dating Rules" work a hundred percent.

Yes, I know the world isn't black and white and you should not reduce everything to absolutes. But you know what? As a "Smart Dater", you should focus on what works NINETY PERCENT of the time rather what works "all" the time, because no matter how hard you try, NOTHING is going to work "a hundred percent of the time."

Instead of worrying about the "exceptional cases", focus no what's doing right MOST of the time. I guarantee you will see a LOT more success than guys who become paralyzed because they worry too much about the "last few percents."


Here are three techniques you can use to keep yourself under control when you feel you're overwhelmed by a woman's beauty.

1) Pick Out A Flaw

The first technique you can use is to pick out a flaw on a woman's face or body when you talk to her. For example, if her nose has a funny shape, then try to "find that funny" and think about it as you chat with her.

2) Use The Old Boxers Technique

The second technique you can use is to imagine the woman in a pair of old, funky looking underwear. This technique is actually used by actors to overcome their stage fright when they audition for roles in movies. I have no idea why it works for many people - it just does. See if it works for you too.

3) Hang Around Beautiful Women More Often

The last technique is a long-term technique. You should try to befriend beautiful women and just hang around them until you're comfortable hanging around or having frequent physical contact with women. Don't worry about hitting on them or getting into their pants. You're just using them to train yourself. In time, you will be "used" to having beautiful women around you and when you meet a new woman who's considered beautiful by most guys, you won't be scared to approach her anymore.


A question that I have avoided writing about on my column in the past is the subject of "does size really matter?" (Hey...I try to keep my column G-Rated as best as I can!)

But something I've noticed during the past 6 months is that more and more readers are asking this question. I have a feeling that this is due to the increasing amount of spam about "male enhancement" that we receive in our email boxes everyday. Regardless of what the cause is, I am going to talk about it and let everybody know that you should all stop worrying about your size.

From a scientific point of view, a woman's vagina will actually shrink or stretch according to the size of her partner.

So unless you're "tiny" (as in less than 4 inches) or "too big" (7 inches or above), you don't really have anything to worry about.

From a sexual point of view, to a woman, 90% of her pleasure is psychological. If you want to give her better sex, then stop worrying about your size and start worrying about your skills as a lover instead. If you can make her feel like whatever she wants to be, she'll think you're the greatest lover she's had regardless of your size.

Lastly, from a Smart Dater's point of view, your size isn't really something you can change, and therefore you should not worry abut it at all. Think about what you CAN change instead. (Such as your skills and personality!)

Of course...you may be thinking..."But I CAN change my size. There are pills that I can buy!"

Sorry to break the news to you, but the "pills" that are promoted in spam emails are usually scams.
In fact, studies have shown that they contain harmful materials that could do some SERIOUS harm to your health. Some of their ingredients include mould, yeast, E. coli bacteria, pesticides, lead, and animal feces. Are these what you want to take into your body?

Forget about these "male enhancement" pills, boys. Stick to what works: "The Smart Dating Course". Stop worrying about genetic factors that you can't change (and don't matter anyway); Focus on becoming more skillful with women instead!


A common excuse that I hear from my readers all the time is that they have not been "raised properly". They blame their problems with shyness or their lack of success with women with things such as:
1) A domineering mother.
2) Bullies / loneness in high school.
3) Religious family.
4) Other "emotional baggage."

Well...cry me a river, but who cares?
Thanks man, your advice works like magic.

I used to be a guy who ladies never wanted, now I'm dating a hot chick and other girls are fighting over me.
Thanks man, you are awesome. -Ethan T. Irondale AL.

While it is true that most of us are the way we are now because of the way we were brought up (I don’t think anyone could argue against that), it is also true that by the time we’re in our late teens or early twentys, we should be mature enough to make our own decisions.

By the time we move out of the house, we should be in control of our own lives. We should choose what to believe, how to act, and how to adapt to our environments.

I share absolutely no sympathy for people that use their “environment” as an excuse.

Once, a college kid emailed me to complain about how he doesn't have time to date because he has to study, and how he can't study at home because the television is always on. (Which according to him leads to his poor grades which in turn leads to his lack of success with money.)

Okay...let's ignore his "argument" and focus on his complaint about not being able to study at home.
There are kids in third world countries that walk 3 hours a day – barefoot - to go to a little brick dwelling with a leaky rooftop that they call “school”, just so they can learn the alphabets and hopefully become literate one day. This reader lives 20 minutes (as he later told me) from the library and he whines because he doesn’t have a place to study?

Give me a break.
This is exactly why I sometimes feel military training should be mandatory for young guys. These young men have been spoiled their whole lives and they don’t even know it.

Back to dating. I don’t care about your childhood problems. I don’t care about your dominant or overprotective mother. I don’t care about your racial background. All I care about is the future. Let the past be. Don’t let it haunt you for the rest of your life, because if you do, you will never become successful as you’ll always be living in the shadows of the past.

Heck, if I had let my own childhood haunt me, I wouldn’t be here helping you.
I’d be hiding in a corner…and I’d still be afraid of girls!

I speak from my heart when I tell you to let go of the past and focus on the future. You can’t change the past, but it’s never too late to change your future!


Ask yourself these questions:
Are you really interesting to women?
How much do you stand out in a crowd?
Do women think you have a “cool” personality as soon as they meet you?

If you want to spark a woman’s interest, she will have to be intrigued by you. And if you want her to be intrigued by you, you better do things that seem exciting to her.

Here are a few tips on how you can make yourself more exciting:
1) Know where you are going in life. Have dreams and ambitions.
2) Have good tastes.
3) Write poetry or music.
4) Be culturally intelligent. Enjoy the arts and read the latest novels reviewed by the New York Times.
5) Pick up a third or fourth language.
6) Have hobbies you are passionate about.
7) Do crazy things such as sky-diving or rock-climbing.
8) Travel, travel, travel.
9) Stay away from computer and video games.
(Spend your time doing things that can make you more interesting or improve your quality of living instead.)
10) Act cool. If you act like you’re cool, most people will assume you are cool.

My Beautiful Distraction