PRINCIPLES OF INSTANTANEOUS TRANSFORMATION IN YOURSELF

There is a possibility of experiencing magic in all aspects of your life, including your romantic relationships, those with family and friends, or simply your relationship with yourself.

It is our hypothesis that when the Principles of Instantaneous Transformation are applied to a relationship, the result will be partnership, self-expression, and self-fulfillment. Again, we suggest that you hold in abeyance the tendency to agree or disagree with these principles and merely hold them as a possibility through which you can examine the complexities of relationship.

Following are the Three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation:


1. Anything you resist persists and grows stronger. Have you noticed that if there is something about your partner you don’t like or have tried to change, the more you have worked to change him or her, the more he or she has persisted in staying the same? Eventually, your disagreements with your partner dominate your life and your relationship until they are your only focus. You no longer see the good points, those things that
attracted you to your partner in the fi rst place. You see only faults—or what you consider to be his or her faults. So again, the First Principle is that anything you resist will persist, it will continue, and it will, in fact, dominate your relationship.

2. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. In any given instant, you can only be the way you are. The idea that if you were different, your life could be different is a useless concept. If you tell the truth about what you see, you will discover that you can only be the way that you are in this moment.

What we are suggesting is that you cannot be different than you are in any given moment, and everything that has ever happened in your life could have happened only that way because it did. This principle, if truly seen, will release you from a lifetime of regret and guilt.

3. Anything you allow to be exactly as it is without trying to change or fi x it will complete itself. This means that the mere seeing of an unwanted behavior is enough to facilitate resolution.
This principle may be a little more difficult to grasp than the other two. The idea of merely seeing something rather than doing something about what you see seems wrong or incomplete, as if it won’t accomplish anything.

As you walk through the living room of your home each day, you don’t have to remind yourself not to stumble over the couch. It is something that is included in your awareness, and your actions take into account that this piece of furniture occupies space. You don’t work on effectively crossing the room to avoid colliding with it. It is naturally and immediately integrated into your way of being. The couch becomes the
background rather than the focus of your attention. So it is with your mechanical behaviors. If you notice you have them without resisting what you see, they lose their power over your life.

Let’s look at this anecdote through the Principles of Instantaneous Transformation. When we first got to the restaurant, expecting to have a quiet lunch, we resisted the fellow who was not only talking to the other doctors at his table but also loud enough to be disturbing to other patrons. We resisted not only the volume but also the content of what he had to say. By disagreeing with the fact that he was a part of our lunch,
behaving as he was, his presence dominated our experience of the moment.

This was the First Principle: What you resist persists and grows stronger—or in this case, talks louder. It also involved the Second Principle: No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. When we had our attention fi xed on him, he consumed our thoughts.

At some point during our meal, the Third Principle came into play. We didn’t decide to ignore the loud fellow and concentrate on topics of our choosing. We weren’t trying to avoid thoughts of ulcers and kidney stones. This would have been a form of resisting the moment that would have had us back where we started. We just put our attention on each other and our meal. In other words, we didn’t try to change or fi \x the
situation or our irritation. We allowed the situation and our response to be exactly the way they were, without judging him or ourselves. We also didn’t act out or express our irritation.

And the situation resolved itself. When we took our attention away from our complaints, the doctors paid their bill and left the restaurant unnoticed. When you allow something to be exactly the way it is, it allows you to be.

CREATING THE FOUNDATION FOR A MAGICAL RELATIONSHIP

As you begin reading this book, ask yourself why you have picked it up. Is it because you have heard good things about it? Were you attracted to the title or cover? Perhaps you are stuck somewhere on your personal journey toward creating a magical relationship. Or perhaps you are searching for tips to fix your partner so that he or she is less irritating. Maybe you are simply curious. Any reason is valid.

It is important that you begin to know yourself. Since you have picked up this book, chances are you are interested in having relationships that are rewarding to you and to the people with whom you relate. You are likely to come across things that you do and have done naturally all along that work well in your dealings with
others. You will also identify things that are impediments to your ability to have a day-to-day sense of well-being. Both are important.

The ideas presented are a radical departure from working on yourself or your relationship to bring about
positive change. This book is about discovering a new way of seeing, a new way of looking at yourself, your life, and your relationships. It will require you to learn a few very simple principles that can shift the way you relate and the way you think about your life.

The two of us have found a far faster and more lasting approach than that of picking on oneself and one’s partner and making endless lists of resolutions designed to force ourselves to behave in a more positive manner. We have discovered the possibility of Instantaneous Transformation.


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HOW TO HAVE CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE AROUND WOMEN

There's no question that having the right body language can project a sense of self-confidence when you're talking to women. Today I am going to teach you a few tricks on how to use "confident body language" to help you attract women.

1) Broad smile
Have a broad smile on your face. As a beginner, try to aim for what I call a "baby smile". Smile openly and sincerely like a baby. Later on, you'll be able to tone it down to a more serious "James Bond" kind of smile. But for now, stick to the baby smile. It will help get you the kind of attention you need!

2) Relax your face muscles
Make sure that your whole face is relaxed. (Even your smile should be relaxed.) If you show any kind of tension on your face, women are going to know you're nervous. Practice relaxing your facial muscles in the mirror. Smile and tighten your cheeks, hold for a few seconds, and then release. Do this 10 times every day.



3) Strong eye contact
Make sure you keep strong eye contact with the person you're talking to. Looking at the ground convey shyness and submissiveness - which is what you do NOT want.
It helps to try to look "past" the woman's eyes and gaze into her soul.

4) Don't break eye contact upon meeting
When you first meet a woman, don't break eye contact until she does. This will demonstrate your masculinity and your status as an alpha male.

5) Keep palms open.
Keep your palms open or only slightly closed when you're with a woman. Do not clinch them into fists. Don't stick them into your pockets or hold onto your shirt or jacket.

6) Stand with feet wider apart.
Stand with your feet wider apart than you usually do.
Open up, take up more room, and be "grounded".

7) Lift up your chest
Expose your chest like a soldier. It is a sign of the alpha male. The alpha male proudly shows off his chest as a symbol of dominance. The beta male tries to cover it up because opening up makes him feel vulnerable.

8) Slow down your breathing
Slow down your breathing. Breath EASY! Breath from your rib cages, not from your chest.

9) Shoulders up
Keep your shoulders up without tightening them. Don't hunch. Hunching is often perceived as a sign of having low self-esteem. Always stand tall and walk tall!

10) Move slower
Move slowly using broad movements. Make sure all of your movements are slow and relaxed. Don't have any kind of fast, "flaming" movements or any "jerky" movements that are often associated with insecurity.

11) Lean forward...and then lean back.
When you talk to a woman, lean forward when the conversation is going good. But don't stay in that position the whole time, you also want to lean back some times to "let go of the tension".

12) Take up room
Take up as much room as you can when you sit, stand, and walk. If you have trouble opening up, do the following exercise. Imagine yourself as a roughneck and think how hey move. Do the same.

13) Invade people's personal space
Don't be afraid of moving into a woman's personal space. Keep getting closer and closer to her. It'll show that you're not afraid.

14) Touch people
Touch women on the elbow casually when you laugh at their jokes. Don't be afraid to hug a woman when the opportunity arises.

15) Have purpose
Have purpose with your life and know what you're going after. Raise up the social hierarchy ladder. Acting like an alpha male in can help you have the right body language naturally.



My Beautiful Distraction