WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT KOREAN DRAMAS

I am not Korean.  I do not speak Korean either. I do not understand Korean culture as well.

I am fond of watching Korean Dramas way back up to now. I am also into Korean food and cosmetic products. How can you not be persuaded if you see how flawless and beautiful their skin are.

What do you need to know about Korean Dramas?

1. Most Korean TV series are called kdramas. It would run from 16 - 24 episodes but it depends if they cut the short because of the ratings or is extend because of the good reviews.

2. No love making scenes on TV series. Basically, Republic of Korea is more of a conservative country. It is part of their culture. Skin ship are minimized. You will surely notice it when you watch it.

3. Kiss is a big deal. Kissing scenes are like pressing the lips slightly. But a few of Kdrams have interactive kissing scene. So do not expect to much.

4. Since it is not translated or dubbed. You should learn how to read faster with the subtitles or else you will be left behind. LOL!

5. The elders are basically with higher respect to them. Even if you are a month younger than someone, you have to pay respect. If you are a guy you will call Hyung (Older brother) or Nona (Older sister). If you are a girl you will call Oppa (older brother) and Unni (older sister).

6. Prepare to crave ramen, rice, and soju and shout out Aja!, and Fighting!

7. Family is a big huge deal.

8. Extensive plastic surgery is very common in Korea.

9. There is usually one “idol” in the cast.  An “idol” is a singer/performer/musician that also acts.

10.First Love is something very important to them. They are inclined with their First love. Mostly first love is like puppy love.



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THE ARC OF A RELATIONSHIP

A typical dysfunctional romantic relationship tends to have distinct phases.

CAUTION
When two people meet and are romantically interested in each other, there tends to be a phase of initial caution in which they examine each other for potential compatibility.
We will call this man “Bruce,” and this woman “Sheila.” The more functional the individuals, the longer this phase lasts. If an insecure woman is looking for an insecure man, this phase tends to be
very short. When they first meet, she looks for “markers” indicating low levels of self-esteem. These can include a lack of eye contact, a nervous laugh, tattoos, drug use, compulsive joke-telling, underachievement, pomposity, or a kind of baseless arrogance.

Once Sheila establishes that Bruce’s self-esteem is either genuinely low or artificially “high,” she immediately feels more comfortable with him.

WIN OR LOSE IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

Why do these conflicts continually escalate in this manner?

One central tragedy of our lives is that we are so often raised in win/lose relationships. If our parents get offended, we are punished. If our teacher gets angry, we get detention. If we want something, someone else must give up something.

This same pattern repeats itself in all of our adult relationships. Most lovers only know how to “get their way” through either overt aggression, or passive aggression (in general, the male and female tools, respectively).

Men say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be angry.”
Women say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be sad.”

These strategies generally result from a fundamentally narcissistic approach to the world. The possibility of a win-win negotiation is never considered, because it has never been taught or demonstrated.

Let’s take a more concrete example.
My wife Christina really enjoys watching a television show called “Dancing with the Stars.” I do like watching the dance routines, but have a tough time making it through all the filler and commercials. Last night, I went upstairs to get a DVD for us to watch and then when I came downstairs saw that Christina had found the show on TV and was settling in to watch it.

I would have preferred it if she had not found the show – so that we could watch the DVD – but that was sort of out of my hands at this point.

Many couples would look upon this as a win/lose situation – that Christina would watch the show and I would suffer through the filler and commercials, or that Christina would not get to watch her show, and watch the DVD I chose instead. Or, perhaps, that Christina would tape the show and watch it on her own, or some other solution.

However, although I would have preferred to watch the DVD, I sat down and happily watched the dancing show.

How is that possible?
Well, quite simply it is possible because I take an enormous amount of pleasure in my wife’s pleasure. (Shoe shopping excepted, of course – I am only a mortal man!)

I love watching the play of delight on my wife’s face and the intensity of her enjoyment. To take pleasure in the pleasure of another human being is foundational to a loving relationship. It certainly is true that I would have received 100% pleasure from watching the DVD, and 90% pleasure from watching my wife’s enjoyment of the dancing show, but I can scarcely claim to be hard done by because I had to choose between 100% pleasure and 90% pleasure!

If you cannot take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure, then win-win negotiations become impossible. If I got +100% pleasure from watching my DVD, and -100% pleasure from watching the dancing show – and if my wife faced the reverse proposition – then one of us would have to win, and the other would have to lose.

This concept of the “minor sacrifice” is something that every couple should openly discuss and work on. I very much want my wife to be happy in our marriage, because if she is not happy then I cannot be happy either. If I get exactly what I want every single time, no matter what her preferences, then it is impossible – according to the principles of Universally Preferable Behaviour – for her to remain happy.

Since my happiness depends on remaining married to her, my happiness can never in general exceed hers in the long run.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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 DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DOs and DON'Ts IN RELATIONSHIPS

So you’ve found that special someone?

Right, here I’m going to assume that you’ve found someone you genuinely really like, are attracted to and starting a romantic relationship with. This isn’t for someone who’s found that person and wants to learn the secrets to attracting them.

There are certain do’s and don’ts that can make or break a relationship that many people just don’t realise. The repercussions of actions and words in the early stages of a relationship can manifest themselves in a relationship for as long as it lasts; which can lead to some very unhappy couples. I’m going to write this so it applies for both females and males as much as possible, but where things are different for each I will separate them and write a part for females and a part for males…

The Dos and Don’ts..

1. DON’T give in to your urges all the time – When you’re in a new relationship, it can kind of take over your life. You don’t stop thinking about them all the time, and you have those butterflies in your stomach whenever something reminds you of them. This is great, and a good sign that things are
going well for you. It’s a little bit like where you were a kid at Christmas and you got that one toy that was so much better than all your other presents. You just wanted to play with that toy and that toy only, forgetting you even had any other presents…especially that jumper that was 2 sizes too big that your grandma got you! Well do you also remember how quickly you got bored of that toy because you didn’t play with anything else? Well it’s time to grow up.

FINDING THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE

Ok this section isn’t going to be long, firstly because it’s not always the best idea to be searching to find a special someone and secondly the actual dating process is a whole different book. But what I would like to say is that there’s no harm in being picky. Knowing what you want is one of the most important things to entering a successful relationship, or any other venture you face in life. It’s
knowing what you want that keeps you striving to achieve your best and not settling for second best. If you want someone rich, someone with black hair, someone who makes you laugh then don’t stop until you have that. Fortunately love doesn’t tend to happen when someone meets a certain criteria
that we set, it usually happens when someone fills us with positive emotions and we become addicted to that feeling. Be picky, but don’t be logical. Logic has no place in actual romance and never will do. You hear countless love stories where the poor, ugly nice guy eventually gets the girl, or the girl
who’s just looking for a sensible man keeps falling in love with the bad boys. This is because
our emotions over-ride any logical thoughts we have when it comes to falling for someone.

Another reason I don’t advise searching for that special someone is because coming from the mentality that you want to find love puts you in a vulnerable place. You will be more likely to let your guard down when you meet someone who could potentially be someone you like, and you will let yourself fall for someone that normally you wouldn’t fall for.

THAT PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

We’ve all dreamt of it at some point or another.

Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then spending the rest of your lives together happily ever after. OK you can wake up now. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that then someone needs to tell me the secret. No relationship forms and lasts without its fair share of
hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the relationship stronger. But sometimes it can blow the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream you once had. That’s why it’s important to get things off to a good start from the word go.

The perfect relationship would consist of 100% trust, amazing communication and openness, the desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects of each other’s lives and to support each other through anything that life throws at you. This can happen. It just takes the right start.

I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of the book, so prepare yourself for that. But let’s face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet important challenge so they need to be told. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…right?

Unfortunately there are countless factors that contribute to how every individual behaves in a relationship so the perfect relationship would be pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one. But don’t give up, relationships can be amazing.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

32 COMMITMENTS TO LOVING KINDNESS TOWARD OURSELVES AND OTHERS

1. I do my best to keep my word, honor commitments, and follow through on the tasks I agree to do.
2. I am making every effort to abide by standards of rigorous honesty and respect in all my dealings, no matter how others act toward me.
3. I forgo taking advantage of anyone because of his or her ignorance, misfortune, or financial straits. My question is not “What can I get away with?” but “What is the right thing to do?” If I fall down in this, I can admit it, make amends, and resolve to act differently next time. Now I apologize more
easily and willingly when necessary.
4. If someone is overly generous toward me or has an exaggerated sense of obligation to me, I do not want to exploit his or her lack of boundaries. Instead, I want to express appreciation and work out an equitable way of interacting.
5. I keep examining my conscience with true candor. I take searching inventories of how I may have harmed others; how I may not have activated my potentials or shared my gifts; how I may still be holding on to prejudices or the will to retaliate; and how I may still not be as loving, inclusive,
and open as I can be.
6. I welcome feedback that shows me where I am less caring, less tolerant, and less open about my real feelings than I can be. When I am shown up as a pretender or called on being mean or inauthentic, I am not defensive but take it as information about what I have to work on. I appreciate positive feedback also.

WHAT ARE THE OTHER FORMS OF LOVE

Compassion

Another form of love is compassion. Concern for others’ pain  helps divest us of ego-centeredness. This is why compassion can so easily be a bridge to the agape style of loving.

In my own life, I noticed an advance in compassion in a singular way. I saw a film version of Macbeth, and instead of my usual dislike of the main character, I felt compassion for him. I saw how
caught up he was in ambition and fear, and I felt sorry for his woebegone state. I did not condone his murderous behavior, but I appreciated his plight in a more humane way than I had in previous readings and viewings of the play. Something had happened in me; there was a new judgment-free openness, a way of connecting to others, even when they were not very appealing. That was a
sign that I was moving more in the direction of agape, which is always a move away from judging others. I have gradually realized that openness is how love happens.

In this context, compassion is not based on pity for someone’s plight. It is not top-down but nondual. Indeed, compassion is not a virtue that we may or may not have. It is the way love, always in
us, responds to others’ pain. That pain tugs at us because of our natural bond in the worldwide human family. To forgo a compassionate response is to contravene a natural inclination. Compassion
in this sense is not just feeling sorry for the suffering of others.

WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE

Ancient Greek philosophers delineated four main types of love: storge, eros, philia, and agape.

Storge is family love, especially between parents and children. This love can endure even when there is neglect or abuse. For instance, we know we love our relatives, even though we do not always trust them to give us the five A’s. A family bond can offer safety and security but at the price of having to camouflage part of who we are. Thus, our loving connection within our family sometimes transcends even the importance of self-emergence. Signs of love may not be apparent in our relatives’ behavior, but we still know they love us and we love them; our mutual loyalty remains. In our affection for our family, we certainly learn how to practice unconditional love.

Eros is passionate love, which we experience most potently in the in-love state. Eros includes, but is not limited to, sexual passion. It is often initiated or sustained by an attraction to physical qualities. The erotic love we feel for a special someone in our lives may be part of a committed intimate bond. It can also be a feel good attachment in the moment that will not be sustained. Eros can be both a longing for and a union with the beloved. This is because eros includes pleasure from both fulfillment of our longings and our longing for fulfillment. Eros also refers to the sensuous, passionate, lively, and creative dimension to human life in general. It can therefore be active between friends or in any relationship without being manifested sexually. Carl Jung, in Dream Analysis: Notes of the Seminar,
said, “People think that Eros is sex, but not at all; Eros is relatedness.” We can appreciate intimate love as more than erotic, and it can include friendship.

WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PRACTICE

It is always up to us to expend the energy it takes to act with love in accordance with the grace we are given. Thus, love is a practice. We do not have to strive for love; it is in us already, but it takes
practice to show it. Some specific ways of practicing love are by showing what I call the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These are the components of love
that make a relationship a truly caring connection. They can be directed toward ourselves and others.

• We pay attention with an engaged and sustained alertness to the needs and feelings of ourselves and others, both by listening and by awareness of nonverbal cues. We are genuinely interested in who we and others really are and what we/they feel.
• We accept ourselves and others just as we are, free of judgments or censure. At the same time, we are discerning. We acknowledge the appealing side of ourselves and others all the way to the top and the unappealing side all the way to the bottom, while love continues unchecked and undiminished.
• We appreciate, or value, ourselves and others. To value people is to cherish their worth. It is an unconditional worth since it cannot be damaged or erased. It is not based on behavior, history, successes, or failures. Appreciation also includes acknowledgment of the good that others do and thanking them and of the goodness they are and praising it.

WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A GRACE

We do not accomplish such a magnificent feat entirely on our  own. Thus, love is also a grace we were given at birth, part of our human endowment, a gift that can be opened and reopened all
through life. Grace is the special help that seems to come to us from beyond our ego. Thus, it is from a source that transcends our powers of control. We cannot make it happen, but it can’t help but
happen when we are open to it.

In Sonnet 87, Shakespeare alludes to grace: “The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting.” Grace is not based on our efforts or accomplishments;

My Beautiful Distraction