STYLE FOUR : THE DOLPHIN

The Dolphin personality type, like the highly evolved dolphin, is extremely friendly and intelligent. She is an avid communicator with a gift for conversation. She also understands deep and powerful
feelings. She can swim in the waters of feelings better than almost anyone else, and no matter where a conversation goes or what feelings emerge, she is always able to stay present. One of her stellar gifts is her ability to articulate the depths of emotion.

Like the dolphin who swims in the ocean but breathes air, she is a creature who must have free access to both emotion and conversation to feel like herself.

The Dolphin may achieve enormous success if her work enables her to merge her gifts of conversation and emotional depth. Oprah Winfrey is an example of a Dolphin type who has used her gifts to create an ideal path in life. Her ability to alternate between genius communicator and emotional transformative agent captivates and uplifts her audience. Another characteristic of the Dolphin personality is a tendency to feel a calling to save or rescue others, and she may become involved in animal rescue or a career path that is larger than life, allowing her to affect large numbers of people in a positive way.

Of all the personality types, the Dolphin may be prone to an on-again-off-again battle with weight and food, although she does not necessarily seem to overeat or make poor food choices. One
Dolphin type told me that she lost forty pounds without really dieting when she left an emotionally toxic situation. Her body knew when it was safe and shed the insulation that had unconsciously
formed around her when she was in an unhappy environment.


The Dolphin’s Relationship Loop
Dolphins crave relationship and intimacy. They do not feel that it is fine to go it alone—they want to share their lives and their experiences with someone they love. Once they enter a relationship,
they want and expect to make it last. The Dolphin finds it very hard to give up on a partner. Even if Dolphins are not happy, they tend to stick it out and try to do the giving, loving, and understanding
for both parties. One Dolphin I know, Helen, married young and after a few years found the relationship unfulfilling, but it did not occur to her to end the relationship. Her relationship loop looked like this:


  • She attracts a dry but likeable man who is fascinated by her emotional intensity and her understanding of the feeling realm. She is socially sophisticated and funny, and her charm and loving spirit are like an open hearth that warms him. 
  • They fall in love and marry. 
  • During the years when they are both building careers, they get along well because they are both busy and eager to succeed. 
  • She is thrilled to be with him because she finds it easy to give her whole heart and to appreciate all his good qualities. 
  • Under the waterfall of her praise and encouragement, he thrives and succeeds in his business beyond their dreams. She is content to be his supporter while she handily masters her own profession and becomes quietly bored with it. 
  • She returns to school, gaining more degrees and credentials to do something more with her talents and to make a greater contribution to the world. 
  • She emerges from school and starts a business helping people with their emotions. Her business succeeds almost overnight, because it is in an arena in which her true talents are harnessed for the good of others. 
  • Immediately, a rift opens in her marriage. She has grown in a way that changes the dynamic between them. She resolves that she will simply make due with less intimacy in the now cooling marriage. 
  • When they finally discuss their relationship, it becomes clear that her husband has been thinking of divorce for some time. Although this is hurtful to hear, her emotional clarity tells her that it is right for both of them. 
  • They divorce. 
  • She quickly meets a new man who shares her interests in helping others. Their partnership flourishes and they marry, sharing a wonderful life together and helping countless people.
Dolphins often find themselves entering an occupation in which they help and guide others, such as therapy or life coaching. They may also be attracted to the restaurant field, as they enjoy people, conversation, socializing, and parties. They do best when they have regular access to an arena in which they can engage in public speaking, teaching, or expressing their emotional wisdom.

Often they have powerful opinions about social issues or politics, but not for the sake of power or politics per se; their touchstone is emotional truth, the empowerment of people, and the welfare of
animals. Like the dolphins of legend, reputed to lead ships away from treacherous reefs, these women are natural leaders who feel called to be of service to the world.

The Dolphin’s Dreams
Dolphins have an affinity for water, and water figures prominently in their dreams. When they are happy and fulfilled, the water in their dreams will be inviting, beautiful, and a realm of joyous celebration. When miserable, the water in their dreams will be dirty or murky, or they will dream of rivers or ponds that have run dry. On entering a new relationship, one Dolphin type, Clarisse, told me she dreamed of taking swimming lessons and diving into the pool over and over again. She felt that, at last, she had met someone whose emotional depth would enable her to express her own emotional power without the need to disguise or downplay it.

Perhaps because these women understand emotion so completely and live in that realm constantly, they attract partners who are more comfortable in the intellectual and logical planes. In the early stages of a relationship, the Dolphin can do the emotional swimming for both parties, but over time, she may begin to feel as if she is slowly dying inside. When this happens, she will dream of fish that are dying, or of an aquarium that is running dry while hapless fish shudder near death. This is her deeper mind drawing a picture of the way her spirit feels: like a fish denied water. If she chooses to stay in the relationship, she must take rapid steps to immerse herself in other emotional environments so she can experience the fluidity she requires to stay healthy and happy.

The Dolphin personality type is happiest when she is with a partner who loves conversation, as she processes many of her thoughts and feelings by verbalizing them. She also needs someone who is not afraid of big feelings, who will admire and support her adventurous spirit when it comes to oceans of emotion. One Dolphin type dreamed that she was sailing on an old-style galleon alone with her new lover. A storm came up, but together they set the sails so that the ship would not capsize or be pulled off course. She awoke from the dream feeling that she had found the one for her. The dream seemed to suggest that they could be an effective and courageous team, pitted against whatever storms life might bring. They have been able to talk through whatever challenges they’ve faced, and their mutual love of communication has allowed them to understand each other and to grow closer over time.
In dreams, the Dolphin type will often get strong signals about her emotional well-being from the weather (representing her emotional climate) or from the fate of animals and pets. When she is feeling low, she will dream of pets and animals that are suffering, neglected, or wounded. This is a signal that she should immediately turn her formidable powers of nurturing toward herself and
take action to nourish her deep-feeling nature.

Another common dream for the Dolphin is that of unkempt bathrooms and overflowing toilets. When she takes on too much for too long and does not make room for her own well-being, she will have dreams of nasty toilets, which signal that she needs to slow down and express herself more creatively. Whether or not she works as a therapist, she tends to be the informal therapist in her circle, and the toilet dreams will appear intermittently when she needs to turn her attention toward her own needs.

When she is with someone who is a good fit, she will dream of luxurious waters or glorious travel with her partner, a sign that she is connecting with someone who has an inner landscape as grand
as her own.

The Dolphin’s Intuition
The Dolphin personality type is a walking emotional radar system, and her intuition for feelings is incredibly accurate. She can spot a grieving soul at thirty paces, and she is able to speak quietly to someone on the spot and give the advice and understanding that person needs. Because she believes more is better, she may tend to overbook herself or to rescue too many abandoned animals, with the result that she can be surprised at her exhaustion. She tends to think of others far more often than of herself, and sometimes she gives herself permission to turn inward only when her feelings have been hurt.

Her intuition tends to sweep through her on the circuitry of her emotions, the best-paved highway in her system. She will simply feel when something is needed or when someone is hurting.
However, she may be too busy or be talking too much to listen to her subtler signals about what she needs for herself. When she gets out of balance, the Dolphin may start gathering things to her by shopping for things she does not need. When she realizes she does not need them, she will give them away to friends. She may eat constantly to keep herself on the move, becoming unconscious of this pattern or unaware of what she is taking in. She may also cook compulsively, taking plates of food or desserts to gatherings or constantly pressing food on others.

When she tunes into her intuition by checking in with herself, she can see visions in her mind’s eye, hear the voice of wisdom, and feel subtle nuances of knowing inside. She is incredibly sensitive
and intuitive, generous, and loving. Like water, she can flow into any shape or through any channel and she will be there when she is needed. Her weakness, though, is in letting herself get out of balance, running on empty, or neglecting her health or her personal needs for prolonged periods of time. When the Dolphin makes a habit of meditating, something at which she can excel, or of using her highly evolved consciousness to double-check her emotional findings, she can have an extraordinary life.

Suggestions for Dolphins
When you see yourself doing too much, buying too much, or eating too much, take stock. These are the signs that you are out of balance. Because emotional truth is your sacred text, you must get clear on the truth of a situation in order to know how best to deal with it.

Harness your highly evolved intuition by finding a system of meditation that suits you. If you can’t meditate, then do selfhypnosis, guided imagery, or at least practice silence during a daily walk in nature.

Practice mental telepathy with the animals in your life. You have an incredible affinity with animals; they know you have saved them and that you will do everything possible to help them. Try talking to them mind to mind and notice whether you inwardly hear a response.

When you meet a new potential mate, pay attention to your dreams. Your deeper mind is equipped to read the emotional state of others, and you will already have a sense, on some level, of whether this person is a match for you.

Do not marry someone who does not share your love of conversation. Not everyone feels as deeply as you do, but you simply must be able to have the glorious and far-ranging conversations in which you delight. It is fine if your partner enjoys listening more than talking, but it is necessary that he engage in soulful conversations with you.

In a calm period in your life, make a written plan that is your emergency course of action for your emotional well-being. This plan is what you will do to take care of yourself if you are verbally
attacked, bullied at work, or if your primary relationship dissolves.

You have plenty of power and intelligence to draw on, but if you are ever broadsided, you can tumble into the depths of your feeling nature and feel swamped for some time. The plan is your lifeboat,
and you can follow the steps to regain your equilibrium.

If you are unhappy in a relationship and have been so for a long time, give yourself permission to consider alternatives. You hate to give up on anyone, as you are innately nurturing, but sometimes you need to take a look around the corner and see what life might look like in another form. Your biggest block to finding your happy match lies in staying too long with an unhappy one.

You will be happiest with a partner who has a depth of feeling, loves good conversation, and enjoys people. (He should also be someone who will not freak out when you bring home a stray dog or cat without warning.) You need good food and good conversation at the end of a long day, and your partner should be warm enough to provide a safe haven for your boundless, loving nature.

Understanding Your Romantic Nature Is a Good Start
If you did not recognize yourself in the descriptions, then it is likely that you possess a combination of these traits.

As we grow as individuals, we tend to develop traits that balance our personalities and our ability to relate and connect with others.

The bottom line is that the more you understand your own nature, the better able you will be to recognize whether someone is a good match for you or whether, despite initial attraction, a
relationship might leave you feeling hungry, shut down, or alone. Of course, love and attraction are vital, but most people have less difficulty finding those catalysts and more difficulty understanding
how their essential nature must be allowed to flourish within a relationship for them to be happy and fulfilled.





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STYLE THREE : THE WARRIOR PRINCESS

The Warrior Princess personality type is strong, confident, and capable. She is often a professional or a successful businesswoman and is likely at the top of her field or in a position of power.

She is often athletic and especially in early life relishes demanding sports or hobbies. She is smart and self-contained, grasping real-world situations quickly and making shrewd investments and
sound decisions. She likes relationships and sex in a straightforward way, and conquests come easily to her. She is physically and mentally strong; some envious people may speculate that she is unemotional because she tends to stride through life straight to the power center of her arena.

However, even though she is not overtly sentimental and may not seem emotional, she cares deeply
about her partner, family, and friends. She is simply tough-minded and brave, emotionally rugged, and does not easily cry or share private things.

This personality type may have been closer to her father than to her mother growing up, enjoying active sports and appreciating conversations about business or work. When she marries, this
personality type is extremely devoted to her kids and may enjoy cooking, but she is generally not hugely interested in domestic life in the traditional sense. She tends to find her career exciting
and rewarding, and she chooses hobbies that provide a thrill and a challenge.


Warrior Princesses are intellectually sharp, sure of their facts, and may be opinionated or argumentative at times. They are not angry types, but they may occasionally enjoy a good debate and tend to be confident that they are right. One young man who took his Warrior Princess girlfriend home to meet his parents was mortified when his girlfriend engaged in a heated political debate with his father at the dinner table. Later, he took her aside and whispered, “Don’t ever argue with my father like that!” Bewildered, she answered, “But I was right.” For her, the debate was not personal, and she meant no disrespect. She simply felt that her friend’s father needed to adjust his perspective.

However, she was shrewd enough to recognize that the family adored the father and that, for them, arguments were signs of disharmony and rudeness. She made a mental note of this important protocol and, in her pragmatic way, was careful to respect it in the future. One of the great strengths of this personality type (and they have many) is their ability to recognize and respect a nonnegotiable priority in their partner’s perspective and to honor those high priorities. She and her boyfriend married and have been extremely happy for thirty years.

While she is single, the Warrior Princess easily attracts partners through her athletic good looks and uncomplicated joy in sex. She may be seen as going through a lot of guys, introducing each one to her friends in her buoyant, brisk manner. But when friends see her next time and ask about her boyfriend, she will scowl for a second (because she is trying to remember who they are referring
to) and then say, “Oh, him—I’m seeing someone else now.” This rapid-fire process may bewilder those who don’t know her well, but friends soon grow used to her rhythm. That said, however,
she is not promiscuous, and she is not dating and discarding men because she is neurotic or unreasonable. Instead, this powerful personality does not seem to know herself well enough to be
able to forecast the fate of the men who pursue her, nor does she typically look beyond the surface of the men who are drawn to her. If a fellow is attractive, seems to like her, and seems nice, then she thinks, “He will probably do fine.” She is more surprised than anyone if he turns out to have some quality that she dislikes, though she will swiftly and efficiently jettison him from her life when she detects the problem.

The Warrior Princess’s Relationship Loop
One Warrior Princess I know believes she has finally found her perfect match, and it appears she is right. Before, however, she carefully scrutinized her dates and male friends, considering their good qualities, decency, and romantic skills. She would always embark on new relationships with confidence and enthusiasm, but she often found herself disappointed and surprised. Here is a typical
Warrior Princess relationship loop:


  • She meets a new man who falls hard for her looks, energy, and confident no-nonsense style. 
  • They quickly become an item, and she is delighted that he seems almost worshipful in his affection for her. 
  • They do some serious moves, such as having holidays together at each other’s families’ home or vacationing together with mutual friends. 
  • Soon, the Warrior Princess, who is a dominant personality, assumes the role of the leader in the relationship. No one says this, and no one acknowledges it; it just happens. 
  • She gets a little impatient and a little critical of the man, who starts trying to please her, to bribe her, and to guess what he is doing wrong. 
  • They begin to quarrel because he feels her slipping away, and it makes him angry and frightened. She feels annoyed and thinks that he is getting a little clingy. 
  • He begins to ask that they talk about their relationship, to spend time being alone together more, and to ask for reassurance and comfort. 
  • She begins to wonder how and why she keeps attracting weaklings and realizes this is the beginning of the end. 
  • Without further ado, she breaks it off.
This personality type is brisk and certain in her decisions. Once she determines that someone does not fit her needs, he is out of the picture. She does not waste time second-guessing or looking back with regret. For Warrior Princesses, it is a baffling mystery that they seem to choose partners who need reassurance. As one Warrior Princess said, “I am so sick of all these sensitive men!”

Of all the personality types, however, when this woman falls in love and decides on a partner, she tends to stick with the relationship for the long haul and to have a relationship that thrives and is the envy of others. One of her secrets is her cool clarity and respect for her partner’s priorities, as well as her own. As one Warrior Princess told me, “I make sure that my husband gets his way on the big things that he can’t live without; and that I get the things that I need to be happy, too. We build those into our life. We never argue about his love of fishing: he needs that and so he goes. I need to travel and so we travel often. We may negotiate on some small things, make trade-offs, but the big things we let each other have. That works for us.”

The Warrior Princess’s Dreams
This personality type is not typically vulnerable and often has dreams that focus on her desire to build or create something. When she meets someone who is a good fit for her, she may begin to dream of buying a home together, or even of construction projects. She also has a number of erotic dreams about her partner, and when she falls in love, her reservoirs of sexual energy will awaken in full force. With her vast energy, sharp mind, and true heart, she brings a lot of power to the potential of a happy partnership, and she typically does not have a lot of mixed signals in her dreams. In her dreams, she views a good partner with clarity and love, while other prospects appear in a rather cold or unappetizing light.

If she is dating someone who is not a good match for her, the Warrior Princess may dream she is with someone who is somehow defective or weak. Maria dreamed of a diminutive fellow with a shrunken leg who was following her everywhere she went. When she awoke, she recognized that she had recently begun to feel that her boyfriend was, as she phrased it, “kind of lame” in the ways
that mattered to her.

Just as her clarity of judgment is strong in her daytime thinking, the Warrior Princess’s dreams tend to be unambiguous in their review of partners. Nicole, who was feeling hungry for sex, went on a date with a man who was attractive but troubled. During their date, she felt disappointed and turned off by his depressing autobiography, which was the main topic of dinner conversation. That night, Nicole dreamed that she went to have a meal in a restaurant and found that her food was covered with insects and weevils. She quickly pushed the plate away from her, disgusted.

When we eat in dreams, it often symbolizes an experience that we are trying to take in, in the hopes of enjoying it and being nourished by it. When we are offered or try to eat something that is intolerable or cannot be digested, it is the deeper mind saying, “This is not for you.” Nicole also felt that her date’s personality type was of the whining variety, which instantly bugged her.

Her rejection of the infested dinner was simple and automatic, as was her determination that this fellow was not for her. She would rather go hungry (go without sex) than have anything to do with a
dinner (a partner) riddled with traits that bugged her.

Because a Warrior Princess is not afraid to argue, negotiate hard for what she wants, or even point out mistakes, she can sometimes find herself learning surprising lessons about the sensitivities
of others. When this happens, she may dream of having hit someone or of having broken a cherished object. When she dreams of doing something she would never do in waking life, one possibility
is that her dream is exaggerating a recent incident in which she marched confidently over someone else’s feelings, focusing on being right instead of slowing down to understand. Mary dreamed of repairing a broken-down fence with her neighbor, but when she looked over at her neighbor, it was her husband on the other side of the fence. She took this dream to suggest that she and her husband
needed to mend fences. She also felt that the dream implied that being on different sides of an issue was not a problem; they could coexist on different sides of the fence and respect each other rather than trying to win a disagreement.

The Warrior Princess’s Intuition
The Warrior Princess’s personality always comes from strength, and her intuitive powers are most recognizable in connection with that strength. Ask a Warrior Princess how her family is doing, and
you will receive a swift recount of the greatness of her offspring and the achievements of her relatives. She has excellent survival and power instincts and easily senses how to position herself in
organizations so that she can succeed. Others recognize her leadership ability and appreciate her as a formidable ally and a tireless workhorse. She is wired to know how to win, and things like success
and making money are relatively easy for her. She also senses danger to her immediate family and may have flashes of warning about her mate or her children. When someone she loves is in danger, she may feel a visceral impact as if she has been punched in the gut. She also has a keen, heroic sense of timing and may actually rescue a family member or loved one at some time in her life.

Her intuition about danger and survival is infallible. When she gets a physical signal about taking a precaution or checking on someone, she should always respect and follow the signal. Her body is her strongest node of intuition, and she is attuned to her gut as well as variations in her baseline sense of well-being. The Warrior Princess has a keen sense of right and wrong, and her intuition about the care of a child or loved one may well be so accurate that others should listen to her. Mona had a son who had injured his arm so severely that the doctors felt it was necessary to amputate. This plan understandably horrified Mona, but she also felt intuitively that it was wrong and unnecessary. She brought in other experts and argued logically but with ferocity. An alternative was attempted, which worked, and the boy’s arm was saved. When a Warrior Princess feels intuitively that a course of action will work, it usually will; when she feels that some danger threatens her loved ones, she will stop at nothing to try to intervene and save them.

When it comes to social nuances, however, the Warrior Princess fails to take advantage of her excellent intuition. Her logical mind is like a powerful sword that carries her through battle, and she can miss subtle signals when she has gone too far or when her judgment has been less than compassionate. If she learns to practice meditation (which bores her), or even to tune into herself while performing household chores or exercising, she will be better able to listen to the quieter forms of her intuition. With practice, she can come to recognize softer signals of insight from her body, as
well as glimpses of insight in her mind’s eye. Despite the fact that this personality type is not a patient listener, when she learns to listen to her inner promptings, she will uncover a different kind of
power altogether, one that will enable her to love more effectively and see those she loves in a clearer light.

Suggestions for Warrior Princesses
Because others are drawn to your strength and certainty, you tend to have partners who are less outwardly powerful than yourself. Because you cannot truly respect someone you believe to be weak,
you need to learn how to assess whether your date is strong but gentle or not strong at all.

Although your intellect and judgment will take you to great heights in life, your dreams and intuition will help you to discern what is beneath the surface in your dates, lovers, and partners.

You always have a plan and a disciplined routine. Make it part of your routine to review your dreams and tune into your deeper instincts.

Trust your sense of what is right. Although you are capable of falling for someone who is not a good match for you, it is not likely to happen. If you are in love and the relationship is floundering or rocky, something is very wrong. You are hardwired for successful partnering, and if there is something significantly off track, it’s time to tune into yourself and trust what you know to be true.
When you feel something is wrong, stop telling yourself it is right. You can actually force an unsuitable match to last by sheer force of your willpower, so pay attention to your instincts. If you
are irritable, cynical, eating a lot of junk food, or feeling hard inside, then take a step back.

When you find your mate, take note of your partner’s priorities as well as your own. Put both sets of priorities at the top of your list, and use your efficiency to plan how you both can have your
mandatory requirements met. Negotiate on the smaller things, trade off, and swap favors.

Make sure not to neglect your need for friends and confidants. You may have a tendency to focus on achievement at work and family gatherings only, with the result that you have few women friends over the years. Even if you take part in a monthly dream group or make friends at the archery club, go out of your way to keep and nurture your women friends. They will keep you tuned into your intuition and your feminine instincts.

Although you are rigorously compassionate in a general fashion, you may neglect the subtler manifestations of kindness. One Warrior Princess told me, “I have always focused so much on
being right that at times I have forgotten to be kind.” Some people find you intimidating, so if you want them to open up and communicate honestly, you have to let them know it is safe to do so. Learn to switch agendas in some circumstances to discover what is going on without correcting others or directing the situation.

Look at the way your dreams parallel waking life, and take the implications of your dreams seriously; they are almost always as crisp and clear as you are.





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STYLE TWO : THE NATURE SPIRIT

The Nature Spirit feels close to animals and to nature. She also has a gift for glimpsing and accepting the deeper nature of the people around her. For this reason, although she may be relatively quiet or even introverted, she tends to be popular and well loved. This personality type is extremely observant of the minor, telling details of others, and because she tends not to be judgmental of others, she is often the recipient of confidences and confessions.

People tend to lean into her and say, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” and then relate exquisitely personal details and worries. Because others feel extraordinarily comfortable with her, she may attract partners who need a therapist or who long for healing in some way.

Although the Nature Spirit easily appreciates the golden qualities in those around her, she tends to be a little vague about what makes her special. She needs time alone and in nature, with pets and wildlife, to feel balanced and restored. The more complex and tense are her responsibilities, the more she needs rest, naps, outdoor settings, and peace. She may attract partners who need healing or who are dominant and worldly, who find her tranquility acceptance irresistibly soothing.

A Nature Spirit’s Relationship Loop
Jan, a Nature Spirit woman I know, says that relationships happen to her while she is not paying much attention. She thinks relationships are wonderful but feels equally happy on her own.


That’s partially because, while she likes the idea of a relationship, she often finds the reality more difficult and even problematic. A typical relationship loop for the Nature Spirit looks like this:


  • She befriends someone and they grow close, with promising chemistry. She showers the other person with acceptance and affection, spotting and celebrating his good qualities until that person’s heart flies open and love is born. 
  • With her earthy and innocent sensuality, a warm romance blossoms. She is not thinking of commitment. 
  • In the face of heartfelt intimacy, sweet sex, and true acceptance, the other person declares a full-blown relationship and one-ofa- kind true love. 
  • She is surprised that this has happened to her yet again. She is forever being claimed as if by an astronaut putting a flag on the moon. She is not clear whether she wants to make a commitment, but it seems to be happening to her. 
  • She has a tendency to go with the flow in social situations (which confuse her, so she tries to anticipate what is expected). She glides into being part of a couple without really being clear on how she feels about it or whether it is what she wanted for her future. 
  • She enjoys the celebration, the congratulations, and the attention that go with a new and promising relationship while she fights down a sense of panic and uncertainty. 
  • She strains to be a good partner and struggles to steal time alone for rest and contemplation. 
  • Because she is unconsciously withdrawing for time alone and for restoration, her partner becomes insecure and demands more of her time and attention. 
  • She begins to dream of escaping from prisons, concentration camps, and castles. She fantasizes about some disaster or some fluke freeing her from the relationship. She repeatedly tells herself that the relationship is perfectly nice and that she is very lucky to have it. 
  • If there are problems, she will leave the relationship or foster its disintegration. If the partner is admirable and the affection is genuine, she may stay for quite a while but feel that she has lost her quiet, her sanctuary, and her time with nature, which is her spiritual touchstone.
The Nature Spirit is almost infinitely intuitive and grasps the truth about situations and people with astounding accuracy. She does not have a good feel for social conventions, however, and often has the sense of being an orphan or a changeling left on a doorstep. The Nature Spirit is very good at feeling a sense of oneness with the divine, with nature and humanity, but she worries about which fork to use at the banquet. She needs time alone the way the rest of us need oxygen, and she often gives up trying to explain this need to others: they seem incapable of understanding how central this is to her well-being and sanity. In partner relationships, she is very giving and accepting, but after spending time together, she also requires time alone to get back to her center.

Like a creature in the woods, the Nature Spirit can be extremely innocent and flee if she feels cornered. She can also be very trusting, and when she accepts someone with simple affection, they feel honored and uplifted.

The Nature Spirit’s Dreams
Although research suggests that women dream of indoor settings more often than men do, the Nature Spirit woman is an exception. She often dreams about driving in her car, exploring the woods or
seashore, or of being befriended by a wild animal who walks with her or protects her.

When she begins a romance, the Nature Spirit will have copious dreams about her partner. They will explore each other and the universe in numerous detailed dreams. She may have telepathic experiences involving her partner, in which she sees or senses what that person is going through. In early life, she may interpret these experiences as signs of having found her mate. In later years, she
will have learned that a sense of seeing into someone else’s experience is not unusual for her and is part of her overall lot in life.

Because of her goodwill toward almost everyone, she may be too accepting of serious drawbacks in a partner, thinking they are merely eccentricities. If this happens, she may begin to dream of being abducted by a dark force or an evil person, or even a monster.

In these dreams, she may develop a relationship with her captor so that she feels pity for him even while she fears for her safety and longs for her freedom. When a recurring cycle of these abduction dreams occurs, it is time for her to pay attention to the exaggerated illustration that something is very wrong. Her dreaming mind is saying, “You have been swept away, you have lost track, and this is not wholesome for you.” When she breaks off the relationship, she will be astonished to find that her friends had long ago labeled her partner as a loser.

When the Nature Spirit is falling in love, she will also fall in love spiritually. Of all the romantic types, the Nature Spirit is most likely to have an active spiritual or metaphysical interest. She may not be religious, but she feels that everything has a spirit, soul, or essence. When she loves someone, she loves his soul and may see qualities in a partner that have never been acknowledged before. Because she tends to be gentle and may be a good listener, some people assume she is weak or unassertive. Although she is not competitive or aggressive, she can be extremely powerful, like a lioness, when outraged. When angered or frustrated in a relationship, she may have dreams reminding her of her own power.

These dreams show her riding an elephant through the jungle, walking beside a lioness down a path, or taking the controls of a runaway vehicle.

If this woman feels trapped in a relationship, she will have recurring dreams of moving out of town, getting her own apartment, or even climbing out a window. These may alternate with fairly enjoyable dreams about her partner if the relationship is a good one, and the mix of the two themes can be confusing. What is happening is that her deeper mind is exploring what works and what does not work in the relationship. She needs to be free, not to explore other partners, but to explore her interests and to return to solitude and nature on a regular basis. If she can negotiate regular time off from the relationship, she can stay in and enjoy the partnership.

The Nature Spirit’s Intuition
When she is in balance and happy, the Nature Spirit glides through life in a series of synchronicities and magical moments that she notices and cherishes. She prefers to have pets in her home, if at all possible, and the presence of animals relaxes and comforts her. She may be an avid gardener, enjoy houseplants, or live in a setting that backs up to a natural area. When she is around people, machinery, technology, or concrete for too long, she begins to feel light-headed, muddled, drained, and annoyed. Though nothing is necessarily wrong, she begins to feel that signal that she needs to have time alone to sleep, dream, and read. If she cannot get away, she may feel slightly panicky and
depressed, even becoming a little weepy for little or no reason.

Some Nature Spirit women (who are benevolent humanitarians) report feeling flashes of hatred toward other drivers on the road or people in crowds when they are far out of balance and away
from nature. This is an intuitive signal that they have been too long removed from their core and need to negotiate time and room for themselves.

The Nature Spirit is highly intuitive and may even be what some would call psychic. She may have telepathic dreams of others, seeing what they are going through or what is going to happen.

The Nature Spirit is pretty clear on what others need but is less clear and less outspoken on her own behalf. Her intuition fires on all cylinders and will become highly sophisticated if she meditates or keeps a diary of her experiences.

When she is in a relationship, she will get immediate signals about the suitability of her partner. She should pay attention to pains in her body, twitches of tension, a feeling that she cannot or should not express herself or that her core needs are somehow flawed or wrong. Because the Nature Spirit may feel a lifelong sense of being out of place in the world, she may approach relationships believing that she needs to apologize for her quirks.

Because she survives in the complex labyrinth of social convention by sensing what is expected of her, she may get pretty far into a relationship by “guessing right” what is desired of her and providing
it, without being clear that she is creating an incomplete impression of herself.

Although many Nature Spirits are paragons of healthy living, many also suffer from mild degrees of intermittent anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive traits. When in balance, they are free from these qualities, or at least they remain only a memory; when they are stressed, trapped, or out of balance, their problem will flare up. The presentation of anxiety symptoms, depression, or obsessive-compulsive patterns is a strong intuitive signal that they are too far away from their center, should make time for restoration, and should negotiate hard with loved ones for the factors that will restore their luminous spirit.

Suggestions for Nature Spirits
Accept that your sympathetic, mystical style will attract not only people who want to sleep with you but also people who unexpectedly want to marry you or have a long-term commitment. Learn to respect your preferences, make them known without rancor, and negotiate for what you need.

Find ways that the feeling of not fitting in the world can dovetail with your occupation or your service to the world. This will change the way you feel about being an outsider and make you less
vulnerable to other people’s riptides.

Accept that other people will probably not fully comprehend what life is like for you, or why exactly you need so much time alone and in nature. They do not need to understand; they merely need to agree that you can have it without conflict or feeling hurt by it.

Practice saying what is, to you, obvious. It is not obvious to others, and they may be very frightened by your withdrawal or your quietness.

Understand that high-powered types, which you attract, need to be guided often, without anger, in learning how to treat you and how to love you. They need to be told a number of times what to
do, and each time they will be surprised by what you have already told them before. Be prepared to keep telling them as often as necessary, without reminding them you told them already!

Practice not feeling like a victim. You must get accustomed to negotiating, to giving and then taking, so that you don’t feel someone stole your life and you can never get it back again. Give people
some warning ahead of time that you are going away to hole up somewhere or are taking a class that interests you.

Don’t assume that because you have to explain yourself, to provide your schedule, and to teach others how to treat you means that they don’t love you. Even though you grasp an enormous amount of information about those you love, other personality types do not.

Pay attention to your bodily signals of well-being and your stress signals of anxiety, depression, or compulsivity as early as possible. When they flare up, go out of your way to rest and get time alone.

If you are having trouble making a decision or taking action, make it your focus to get rest and get back in balance; then you will see more clearly what you need to do.




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17 ROMANTIC IDEAS FOR YOUR LOVE LETTERS

Love can be expressed in different ways. Others prefer to do a hand written letters. Isn't it sweet and romantic to received a love letter from you loveones?

If you are looking for a creative way to surprise and make your love one happy, here are ways to make it even more wonderful and romantic.

  1. Leave a love letter inside the box of laundry detergent to make the washing less of a chore. 
  2. 􀀐In the middle of the night, tape your love letter inside the bedroom window. In the morning ask her to open the blinds for a big surprise. 􀀐
  3. Stuff your love letter inside his winter gloves. Sure to warm his heart.
  4. Celebrate your love on the 14th of every month with a love letter. 
  5. Tape a love letter to the ceiling over the bed. Let your lover discover it when they awaken. 
  6. If you’re lover’s staying overnight at a hotel, fax a love letter so they’ll get it when they check in. There’s nothing better to make your lover feel the warmth of your touch when all alone on the road. 
  7. Place your love letter inside a zip-lock plastic bag and set it next to the shampoo or soap in the shower. 
  8. Have your love letter hand delivered by messenger or sent by a courier service for same day delivery. 
  9. Antique your love letter by carefully burning the edges.
  10. Then tie your love letter with ribbon like a scroll.
  11. Print your love letter on heavy stock paper. Cut it into puzzle pieces for your lover to put together. They’ll have to put forth a bit of extra effort.
  12. Have your love letter written using a Calligraphy pen on elegant parchment paper, have it bordered in lace and frame it. Give it as a gift. 
  13. Cross stitch your love letter onto a boudoir pillow. 
  14. Decoupage an old cigar box with romantic pictures, cut outs, mementos. Place your love letter inside. This can be your lover’s keepsake box for all the love letters you’ll be sending. 
  15. Dip your finger onto a red ink pad and personalize your love letter with a finger print. Draw a heart around your fingerprint and sign your name. 
  16. Send your love letter with an accompanying tape or CD. Select a song that enhances the thoughts expressed in your love letter to be listened to while reading it. 
  17. Write a love letter on the inside of your thigh. Use a ball point pen so the ink won’t run. Let your lover know it’s there, while you’re still fully dressed.



If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;)
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VALENTINES DAY IDEAS FOR YOUR LOVE LETTER


What are you plans for the coming Valentines day?

Tip: Each women wants to be surprised in valentines day and other ordinary days. 

Here are some of the creative ways that can me her happy and feel loved.

  • Stuff your love letter into a bottle and cork the top.
  • Draw a hot bubble bath for your lover and float the bottle in the tub. 
  • 􀀐Mail your lover a love letter at their office to brighten their day. 
  • Paste your love letter inside the kitchen cupboard. Next time they go to get a glass or a bowl, they’ll be reminded of your love. 
  • Even if you live together, send your lover a love letter in the mail. Everyone loves to receive a real personal letter in the mail. 
  • Decorate the envelope that contains your love letter with drawings or stickers of hearts, cupids and flowers. 
  • Stash a love letter in your lover’s glove compartment along with some mints and tell them you put a surprise in their car.
  • Print your love letter out on home-made stationary that has pictures of the two of you all around the border.
  • 􀀐Create stationary cards that have matchbook covers glued on from your favorite restaurants. This love letter could reference how much you enjoy your romantic dining adventures.
  • 􀀐Create a scavenger hunt of love letters. On the envelope of each one, give a clue for finding the next one.
  • 􀀐 Make a book out of your love letters. Whether you use construction paper or a binding machine, giving a full assortment of love letters will capture their heart. Be sure to include a table of contents so they’ll know just where to look for a little pick me up.
  • 􀀐Declare next week love letter week and send your lover a letter for each day.
  • 􀀐Send your lover a Valentine’s love letter on August 14th. That’s six months before and after Valentine’s Day. 
  • 􀀐Write your lover a love note on a blank check inside their check book.
  • 􀀐 Give your lover a tin of mints and replace the paper lining with a love letter. You could mention that you can’t wait to kiss!





If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;) 
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STYLE ONE: THE SPARKLER

The Sparkler personality type is happiest with people around and is generally a gifted communicator. Sparklers can read people instantly and can move around a party or meeting like a hummingbird,
exchanging with others on a fairly intimate level very quickly. Envious strangers might believe Sparklers are superficial, but in fact, Sparklers have the gift of creating instant rapport, fast
intimacy, and rapid-growing relationships. Often this personality type is very attractive or has a quality of beauty, style, or charisma that is almost magnetic. Sparklers enjoy fashion, decor, and beautiful surroundings, and they are often cultured and well traveled.

Sparklers love variety, movement, and nice things, but not out of narcissism; rather, the Sparkler loves everything in life that is intriguing, beautiful, enriching, or exotic. Whether it is a gourmet
recipe, a meditation process, or an art exhibit, the Sparkler wants to experience it. Sparklers can drink in beauty and variety and be completely renewed by them. A Sparkler is an excellent
conversationalist, a lively companion, and can find the fun in almost any situation. Sparklers are warm friends and can be extremely caring and loyal, dipping into their formidable store of
energy to help others.



A Sparkler has lots of charm, is typically high energy, and may be very attractive or exude sexual vibes that shout, “Hot stuff!” Conversation and variety actually give her energy and soothe her.
After a stressful workweek, going to a party and making new and interesting friends will restore the Sparkler. Sparklers’ challenges in relationships are distinguishing among their many would-be partners and knowing themselves well enough to communicate their core needs clearly to those
they attract. Because Sparklers derive energy from new acquaintances and shine brightly in the admiration of others, they can easily mistake the high of admiration and novelty for the joy of
blossoming love.

A Sparkler’s Relationship Loop
A Sparkler is a beautiful and charming person who easily captivates men and who enjoys the chase, the seduction, and the excitement of new relationships. Men seem to be easily smitten by her,
understandably, and her typical relationship goes like this: ·· There is rapid seduction, hot chemistry, and quick commitment to exclusivity, with discussions of marriage or a permanent partnership entering the conversation early on.

·· She feels excited celebration, showing off of the new conquest for family review. There are lots of “This is it!” statements and behaviors on both sides. They review logistics—such as where to live and how it all will work—while still in the early days of the relationship.
·· She being an ongoing recitation of the man’s good qualities and special features, to herself, to her friends, and to her therapist.
·· They settle into some kind of routine with extended visits at each person’s home.
·· They begin to have a realization of their differences: He wants quiet, and she wants people and parties. He wants all her attention, while she needs variety, freedom, and lots of new experiences.
·· He cracks down, insisting that, if she loves him, she will shine only for him. She thinks this sounds reasonable and tries. She grows thin, pale, and cranky.
·· She then experiences the rapid onset of stress symptoms: tension headaches, indigestion, cramps, allergy flare-ups, asthma symptoms, backaches, fatigue, and intermittent depression.
·· She enters a period of fogginess, confusion, increased health flare-ups, anxiety dreams—she does not feel like herself. She loses interest in sex, which was their best subject together. He is hurt and bewildered. They fight.
·· She picks fights with him, aggressively finding fault and making it difficult for him to hang on. At this point, she is trying to nudge the relationship to an end-point crisis and may or may not be consciously aware  of it.
·· They break up! She is very gracious about the whole thing and hopes that someday she will meet someone who is right. She resumes her normal activities and soon regains her normal sunny disposition and zest for life.

This is one relatively classic relationship loop for the Sparkler. If you are not a Sparkler, it is easy to assume these folks are shallow, narcissistic, or addicted to the spotlight. Although some “beautiful people” appear not to have developed in some ways, the sparkling personality is simply one that shines brightly and has an instinct for rapport. These people are restored by social interaction and by variety and stimulation. They literally feel sick and drained if they cannot have sufficient interaction. It is easy to assume that Sparklers are dabblers, because they sample so many different things. However, they are more than capable of sticking with some things, as long as they are free to investigate lots of new things on a regular basis. They make excellent journalists, event planners, publicists, talk-show hosts, teachers, facilitators, and sales representatives. I meet Sparklers often in my work in the psychology field, as they love to take new classes and are serious about their personal and spiritual growth.

A Sparkler’s Dreams
Sparklers attract and are drawn to others quite easily, so they often dream of the attraction phase of a relationship. They dream of getting new cars, picking out delightful puppies, and moving into
an ideal home when they are trying to evaluate a new romantic interest. Typically, these dreams reflect details of the good features of the new potential candidate (symbolized as the car, pet,
or home). Because this personality type has few inhibitions to romance or intimacy, there are often few negatives apparent in their early dreams, when the relationship has not yet begun.

After a first date (or a contact sufficient for the deeper mind to start making connections), a Sparkler’s dreams may change strikingly if there are qualities present in the other person that merit
rapid attention and consideration. At this point, the Sparkler may have flashback dreams of being in a past relationship that was hurtful or confining. She may dream of trying to have sex with the other person but something unpleasant or unexpected ruins the moment. These dreams hint that there is some factor beneath the surface, either in the other person or in their chemistry as a couple, that makes the potential for intimacy more complex.

Lynn dreamed of a first kiss with a new man in which he put his tongue in her mouth, and she discovered it was forked, like a snake’s. She did not find this sensual at all but alarming and weird. In waking life, she associated the term forked tongue with lying. She discovered through a mutual acquaintance that indeed he had not been truthful with her about some things in his background. For her, this disqualified him. She felt that if he would lie about small things, he might also be untruthful about larger, more important matters.

Yasmine dreamed of getting into a shiny speedboat with her new guy and zipping out into the sea. Away from shore, however, the engine broke down and they drifted in waters that were suddenly
filled with shark fins. This ominous scene frightened her, and to some extent, it did foreshadow the course of their brief romance. After a speedy launch into their relationship, they didn’t know how to be together, and their ability to communicate broke down (the drifting). They also fought a great deal because he had a style of verbal attack that he thought nothing of but that made her feel put down and devalued (being surrounded on all sides by sharks that might attack whenever she moved).

Sparkler personalities tend to have a lot of cautionary dreams because they are so turned on by new friendships, new possibilities, and new tingles of romance that they focus on the possibilities and make rapid-fire connections. The dreaming mind tends to point out the pitfalls of attractive strangers and fast-burning passion that can be mistaken for fulfilling partnership.

When a Sparkler does find a fulfilling partner, she may dream of returning to her hometown and finding absolute peace there for the first time. One woman met a man she felt content with and
dreamed of being in love with her brother. This sounds disturbing, but the tone of the dream was happy, simple, and positive. It had nothing to do with incest, and she was not secretly attracted
to her own brother. Instead, the dream highlighted qualities that her new friend had in common with her brother, who loved her unselfishly and with whom she had always felt that she could be
herself. It was her deeper mind’s way of suggesting that she had found a partner whose traits she already knew, loved, and trusted.

She was with someone of her own tribe, so to speak, and the connection would be a deep one. Unlike her other relationships, this one has lasted and flourished.

A Sparkler’s Intuition
Sparklers have strong intuitive signals and do well to pay attention to them. Their intuitive signals come typically in two forms: mental flashes and physical sensations or symptoms. They get flashes of understanding and images in their mind’s eye, as if from nowhere. Inside their thoughts, there is an interruption and a flash of a scene or awareness, like a clip from a movie. They may also have strong gut feelings occasionally, but it is more typical for them to experience a sense of knowing in the mind.

Their brilliant sanity may guide them to make snap decisions, which to the casual observer may appear to be independent of known facts or objective data. They simply make a decision and watch themselves execute changes. When asked, they may not even be able to tell you how they knew to take a certain course of action; they just did. Typically, they have a terrific track record with real-world decisions in business or with property, money, and possessions.

When they are in a prolonged situation that’s not right for them, Sparklers experience a dramatic drop in their personal energy. Usually they are the life of the party with boundless energy, but when they
are going against their nature, they will feel chronically drained and muddled, a state completely unlike their normal disposition. This is when you will hear them say they don’t feel like themselves.
When they get seriously off course, a variety of nasty and seemingly unrelated health problems can plague Sparklers. These can include indigestion with no known cause, menstrual complications
that doctors cannot resolve, mysterious muscle aches and spasms, and sensitivities to foods or substances that do not register as allergens when tested. When this occurs, it is vital that Sparklers
tune into themselves again and get back in touch with their own needs at the same time they seek medical attention and psychoemotional support as needed. Sparklers need to consider whether
their sense of energy drain is associated with the life choices they have been making. That is not to say that their health challenges are not real—they are—but they may coincide with a decision
(or relationship) that pulls them away from their natural spirit or removes them from sources of energetic renewal. A diminished sense of satisfaction and vitality are associated with their flare-ups
of symptoms. When a Sparkler gets back on track with her joyous life, her health tends to improve rapidly and dramatically.

Suggestions for Sparklers
Pay attention to your dreams, your physical sensations, and your health when you begin a new relationship. You have a straightforward system that will start to feel off quickly if you have taken a wrong turn and will bubble with joy when you’re going in the right direction. If you start to feel short of breath, drained, or edgy, pay attention. These are early somatic signals that you’re being squeezed of your vitality and separated from your energetic renewal. Make it a habit to be unfailingly honest
with yourself and to look unflinchingly at any intuitive signal that may appear.

If you begin to have a recurring dream, write it down and talk to friends about it, on relationship dreams and symbols, to get started making sense of your dreams. Your dreaming
mind is your best watchdog and will give you important lead time to head off trouble.

Take your time with romance and let things blossom, as difficult as that is for you to do. Allow your partner time to see how busy you like to be and how fulfilling your social calendar is to you.
Be candid about your needs with yourself and others. You don’t just like activity and people—you need them to be happy and healthy.

Look for love in friendship. Instead of falling for spontaneous combustion, which is one of your specialties, look for a friend with a warm, unwavering heart. Your best bet is someone who understands your nature, loves who and what you are, and knows that there is plenty of sunshine to go around.

When you fantasize about love, don’t focus on the movie star you like, the type of hair that turns you on, or how great it would be to have a vacation home abroad. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but you don’t want to fix them in your unconscious mind. Our fantasies actually become relationship triggers that have a powerful unconscious pull on our feelings. You can find yourself falling for a guy’s profile or his wardrobe because your fantasies have created an emotional imprint, and this can give you a strong sense of recognition and desire toward someone who has the elements of your fantasy. Instead, fantasize about your own good feelings, of being appreciated and accepted, of having someone who praises you and cheers for you. (You don’t have to worry that a fulfilling partnership might not be hot—all your relationships are hot!) Remember, what you fantasize about you will be attracted to. Don’t indulge in fantasy about yucky situations or the feisty psychotic romances depicted in movies. Fantasize about what will make you happy, and you will be feeding those coordinates  into your intuitive GPS system.



If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;)  
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WHAT IS YOUR ROMANTIC STYLE

Some people have found love by working from the inside out. They seem to understand what excites them, restores their spirit, and renews their energy. They know what they admire, respect, and need in a partner. These fortunate folks are not only clear thinkers; they are clear feelers, too, in the emotional sense. They don’t fool themselves or feel conflicted about choices in relationships. Others, who know themselves less well, tend to get into relationship loops where they attract and move through very similar romantic patterns without even recognizing it. If you can begin a relationship from a place of self-awareness and clarity, you may find that choices will come easier for you. The first step is to identify your romantic style.

In helping people decipher their relationship dreams, I have observed that women often approach romantic relationships in a particular style—one that stems from their personality and emotional
needs. Relationships tend to run aground when core needs are not met or when priorities are not shared, or at least respected. Often women do not discuss these core needs and personal styles
with their partners because the women themselves are not aware of their priorities until something interferes with them or until they feel less alive in a relationship.


There is nothing rigidly scientific about the four relationship styles I will describe in the next few pages; they are based on clusters of personality traits that present themselves in dreams, in
behaviors, and in the factors that enliven or extinguish our ability to relate.

The differences in these romantic styles can sometimes explain why one person’s delight is another person’s poison. Our priorities do change somewhat as we move through life, and many people feel that they are a blend of these styles. As you read the descriptions that follow, you may recognize your own romantic style, as well as find some pieces of the puzzle that help you understand what you need and why some objectively good partners were ultimately intolerable.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

THE IMPLICATIONS OF ENLISTING YOUR INTUITION

I don’t mean to imply that you should throw out logic or disregard the attributes you find appealing in a potential partner. But you heard it from someone, from women who have been astounded to find that when they stopped looking for what they thought they wanted, they suddenly found what really makes them happy. What they discovered is that intuition and brilliant sanity offer greater awareness of what is really going on with a potential partner and of how that person could impact you in the future.

Sometimes people worry that if they pay attention to their dreams and their intuition, they will learn things they would rather not know and will have to make decisions they would rather not make. This
dread of inner truth is counterproductive and unnecessary. You are free to make any choices you like and to add up all the different elements involved to determine what you feel and what you want.
It is to your advantage, however, to consciously add your intuitive feelings into the mix as you make decisions. Your brilliant sanity and your intuition will minimize the damage of a disappointing experience and let you bounce back and into the arms of real love that much faster. Your deeper awareness will also help to give you a heads-up if you find yourself in one of those relationships where everything looks right and everything feels wrong. Learn to trust your gut and listen to the quiet voice inside that has no agenda except your happiness. This isn’t a matter of making wild decisions on a whim—it is a matter of paying attention to what a part of you already knows and benefiting from that knowledge.


Clear Your Intuitive Radar

Sometimes students and clients will tell me that their intuition does not work. They say they have absolutely no intuition at all or that it sometimes points them in the wrong direction. I believe that intuition is innate, associated with our survival instincts and a rapid-fire ability to recognize patterns
with only minimal cues. This ability is always with us, and it does not get broken. However, like any kind of information- processing system, it can be clogged or blurred, and emotion and worry can overwhelm the ability to interpret subtle awareness.

I offer a statement to clients who feel they are out of sync with their intuition. You can read it aloud once a day to clear away the sense of being separated from your ability to discern clearly. Feel free to alter the wording to suit your style or your personal faith.

Clearing Statement

I accept the power and the clarity of my intuitive abilities. These are natural abilities that are a normal part of life and are not extraordinary or too much to hope for. I forgive any misunderstandings in my past related to the idea of intuition and embrace this potential in myself. All creatures in nature
have a kind of intuition and instinct, and I am a part of nature. Whether or not I have been aware of it, I possess an unerring instinct for life. I accept my instinct for survival and my intuition for happiness. I know when something or someone is good for me and is life affirming, and I know when something
is not right for me, too. I am building my relationship with this inner brilliance on a daily basis, understanding the signals and the voice of my intuition. By understanding how this feels and what it is like, I will be able to recognize my intuition before there is an urgent matter and emotions run
high. I clear away any misperceptions, any illusions, and any false ideas now. I see clearly, I feel clearly, and I listen to my inner wisdom. I am free to make wise choices and to weigh my perceptions as I see fit. I am free. I am wise. I am whole. The truth empowers me and hurts no one.




If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at authorsviewpoint@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! ;) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.lovelifediaries.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

THE INSTINCTIVE FRIENDSHIP FEELING

The next time you meet someone new, instead of evaluating career success, body, or last name, evaluate the friendship factor first. Is this someone you could be friendly with even if a romantic relationship did not blossom? Could you tell this person private things about yourself, or did you feel you had to put on your game face? If you answered no to the first question, this doesn’t mean you
can’t have the sparks and the wow factor as well; but happy couples are friends, and they seem to realize this almost instantly.



We may fantasize about falling into bed with someone, but just as often, the initial meeting of happily married couples resulted in their staying up all night talking, like best friends who had been apart for years and had a lot of catching up to do. We aren’t taught to fantasize about meeting someone terrific and having the conversation of a lifetime, but maybe we should be. These folks tell me that when they went home finally, they knew that the other person was going to be someone very important because of a feeling they have only when they are with very close and old friends.

The subjective feeling of friendship is accurate: even though you might not have known the other person for long, you have an instinctive feeling of trust—you can obviously communicate with
each other, and there is a joy in pouring out observations, anecdotes, and experiences. You are trying not to impress the other person but to share.



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WHAT PATTERN YOU SEE IN RELATIONSHIP YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR

Peculiar Patterns

A peculiar pattern—even a small one—that repeats in a relationship may be a subtle signal of something important. Pay attention to patterns that seem out of place, unusual, or troubling, even if
you cannot explain why they make you uncomfortable.

Kris launched into a fun and fabulous affair with an unusual man she really liked. They had a humorous rapport and a lot of fun together. Although he was a fairly athletic guy, and they were
both young, she noticed that he was awfully clumsy, and that surprised her. Specifically, he seemed to slip often and accidentally bump her or step on her foot. When she got in and out of the car,
when she was carrying something, or when they went through a doorway, he often seemed to misjudge the distance and would bump into her or even accidentally hit her. He always apologized
lovingly, saying, “Oh, sorry, honey, I’m so clumsy.” Something about this bothered her, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. The mere sensation that something is wrong is often a signal from the deeper mind that you should take seriously. Your bodily sensations can be like the language of your dreams, arising from a deeper wisdom and illustrating important truths about your situation
and your feelings.


One day, they got into a heated argument, and the man struck Kris so hard in the face that the blow lifted her off the ground. As she lay face down on the floor, her ears ringing, the many times this man had “accidentally” hit her flashed through her mind.

“It was there all the time,” she told me later. “He was repeatedly unconsciously hitting me, and I didn’t see that as a part of him; I saw it as an accident. But in a way, it was like his subconscious mind was telling mine: I like to hit women.” If this pattern had been part of a dream, Kris might have recognized that it potentially held important meaning for her. In a similar way, we can sometimes interpret as meaningful a repetitive situation that comes with a peculiar feeling in the body if we pause to consider it and allow ourselves to fully explore the sensation without labeling it or dismissing it in a hurry.



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WHAT DREAMS DO IN RELATIONSHIP

Flashback Dreams

Pay attention to your dreams when you have just met someone new or have just started dating someone. You will likely have dreams that refer to past partners or past experiences. If those flashback dreams are about relationships that you would not want to repeat, pay attention. There may be good reason to reconsider or to proceed with caution in the relationship, or at the very least to monitor yourself to see if you are slipping into an old pattern that you have already found unfulfilling in the past. If the dreams are about relationships that were happy while they lasted, your deeper mind
may be recognizing a quality that is nourishing to you in a partner.

Symbolic Shorthand Dreams

In your dreams, is the new person you’ve met nice to you or cruel? Does he focus on you or on himself? Do you find yourself asking questions in your dreams about whether or not this person could really be right for you? Surprisingly, your dreams can be months ahead of you in noticing things that don’t work for you or will take time for you to work out and understand. Look at the bottom line of these dreams—typically there is an intuitive thumbs-up or thumbs-down signal.



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ROMANTIC MEMORY IMPRINTS

Whenever you care about someone, regardless of how the relationship ends, that person becomes an imprint in your memory. Later, if you date someone who has similar behavioral patterns, your
deeper mind will recognize the similarity—even if the two look nothing alike or have different personalities and interests. You will likely dream that you are back in a relationship with the person
from your past, much to your surprise. Or you may find that past love flashing through your mind, seemingly for no reason. When you are with the new person, the relationship from your past may
flicker through your memory. Pay attention to these cues, because they mean that your deeper mind is recognizing similarities and is trying to bring this awareness to your consciousness.



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HOW YOUR DREAMS AND INTUITION ASSESS RELATIONSHIP

Have you noticed that sometimes friends know before you do when something is off about a new person in your life, or when someone would be good for you? Of course, this could be because
your friends understand your temperament and what makes you happy. But it’s also because friends are not attached to any particular fantasy about someone you’ve met. They are neutral, wanting
only your happiness.

This is exactly the way your deeper mind operates, too. This part of yourself is aware of the importance of love and relationships and wants you to be happy, whatever form that takes. This
part of you is not swept away by a handsome face or an exciting story told over dinner. It is not impressed by money, glibness, false attentiveness, or other methods of seduction. Genuine caring,
consistency, and warmth impress your deeper mind. It is the ultimate lie detector, and if you tune into it, you will be able to spot a phony quickly, no matter how smooth that phony’s presentation
might be. You will also sense when to give someone time and allow a friendship or relationship to unfold. Some of the finest people you will meet will not give razzle-dazzle first impressions
but will have the depth to be interested in your story and your needs. The following sections go over some ways that your intuitive knowing may find expression.



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HOW TO TRUST YOURSELF

Embrace Your Brilliance and Break the Taboo: Trust Yourself

Trusting yourself is a process. You have learned over time that you can do certain things well without much effort. You know how to guess right within certain frameworks, with people, with money,
at work, or in your hobbies. You have evidence of your brilliance in some contexts and have no trouble trusting your instincts and your ability to improvise and problem solve in those settings. Part
of the reason you trust yourself is that you’ve accumulated evidence in the form of past successes. It’s clear that you know what you’re doing, so you can relax, do what you do best, be present in
the moment, and trust your own reactions.

Another reason you trust yourself is that you have acquired a habitual posture of emotional and psychological balance in those areas where experience has shown that you “just know” how to
make the right decisions. You don’t engage in circular thinking or worry that you might be wrong when you need to make decisions quickly. Even when there is stress involved, you know how to keep your balance the way a downhill skier crouches for speed or the way a surfer rides a wave. You find yourself doing the right thing even before you have entirely thought it through sometimes, because your emotional balance lets you naturally perform at a high level and lets your brilliant sanity emerge unimpaired. You probably know when someone simply wants to waste your time in the workplace, and you probably have a strong sense of when a project is a good one or when a product will be a profitable one to add to your lineup.


Without really knowing it, many of us give ourselves permission to be brilliant and clear in certain areas, but we deny ourselves permission to fully access our instincts in other areas. This functions a little bit like the permissions set on our computers: when we want to know answers in areas where we don’t have permission to be wise, we get an error message in the form of self-doubt, self-criticism, or reminders to be reasonable or not to be silly. Internal static is not a sign that you lack wisdom, but it
can be a sign that you have not given yourself permission to access or trust your wisdom.

Pause now and consider where you trust yourself, where you keep your balance effortlessly, and where you have permission to access your inner wisdom. You may want to have a piece of paper
ready so that you can jot down answers to the following questions.

In what areas of life do you feel you have good instincts? What kind of evidence, in the form of past experiences, do you remember about those areas? Think of times when you might not have had access to necessary information, but nevertheless you knew what to do somehow. Most of us don’t count the almostdaily experiences at the office when we have to complete a project without the data we would have liked to have on hand. Since we have to finish, we just do the project anyway.

In what situations of your life do you find that you somehow keep your emotional and psychological balance despite objective stress? Are you calm in the center of the storm at work? Do you translate conversations for people who can’t seem to understand one another? Do you read your loved ones like a book, and sense what they need to feel better when they’re down? These may be situations in which other people say, “How do you do that? I’d be a nervous wreck.” I know a woman who brings calm and healing to others by volunteering as a victim’s advocate when there has been a suicide or a violent death. She is one of the first people to arrive on the scene to be there to hold the weeping family members.

Most of us would want to be helpful but would find the situation overwhelming or too sad. This woman, though, becomes clearer in this setting and finds it easy to know what to say and do to
offer comfort and calm. She exhibits brilliant sanity in the midst of tragedy.

Where do you have permission to use your instincts? Is it okay to have good instincts for others but not for yourself? Is it okay to do well at your job but not at your personal life? Do you have
permission to try hard but not to succeed? Do you have permission to understand love, or are you supposed to get confused? You may not have a strong sense of the answers to these questions yet;
if that is the case, then just make notes about what you suspect may be true for you.

Romantic love is a context in which we often do not give ourselves permission to trust what we know. We do not feel that we have sufficient evidence of our brilliance, and we have trouble
keeping emotional and psychological balance. For these reasons, even the most intuitive and wise among us can feel blocked and confused as we try to navigate the waters of love.

Fortunately, even though we are each unique, we can learn very rapidly from the successes and observations of others. We can learn the language of inner wisdom through the stories of others,
and this triggers greater awareness of how our own sense of certainty can become stronger, leading us away from disappointment and toward love.





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My Beautiful Distraction