Special pleadings:

There is an exception to the foregoing advice about making a clean break.
That is when you feel that part of the reason for your broken heart—part of what hurts so bad—is that the breakup was avoidable. It should never have happened because it was based on false information.
You could deal with the breakup if it had been on valid grounds, but you can’t deal with losing this person because of a mistake. So you want at least to set the record straight, before you retreat into silence. And you hope (even if you don’t admit it) that just maybe, this correction might heal the rift and bring your lover back.
And I say, go for it. Communicate the relevant information to your other half.

However, there’s a danger that this exception could, if interpreted too loosely, become the crack through which all the earlier good advice drains away. So I want to make it clear before going on, what I’m not saying here.

I am not saying:
• that if you disagree with the breakup and think it is a mistake, you should contact your ex and argue about it. Most people who are on the receiving end of a breakup disagree with it!
• that if you feel bad about things you did that may have pushed your partner away, you should bombard him with apologies.
• that if you feel what happened wasn’t deserved, you should plead that case. Again, most broken-hearted people feel that way. What I am saying is that if you honestly think that either you or someone else conveyed false information to your partner that caused him to break off the relationship, there is no reason why you shouldn’t let him know the truth.

So this is my advice, when the breakup was caused by the conveying of false information. (It applies whether you were the source, and miscommunicated or were misinterpreted by your lover; or a third party was the source, as in our story. The right thing to do is correct the information, without asking your lover to return.

Convey the true facts to your ex, but don’t pressure him to take you back.
That might best be done by snailmail, not in an e-mail. It may sound quaint in the Internet age, but emails are a little too casual, too easily ignored, too easily forwarded to others, and too apt to be dashed off in a
reckless way. Try an old-fashioned letter, and make it calm, objective, and fair-minded. Don’t ask for anything. Just give the needed information.

Another scenario is worth looking at, which illustrates why in most cases it’s not a good idea to try to win back the one who broke your heart.

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