STYLE TWO : THE NATURE SPIRIT

The Nature Spirit feels close to animals and to nature. She also has a gift for glimpsing and accepting the deeper nature of the people around her. For this reason, although she may be relatively quiet or even introverted, she tends to be popular and well loved. This personality type is extremely observant of the minor, telling details of others, and because she tends not to be judgmental of others, she is often the recipient of confidences and confessions.

People tend to lean into her and say, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” and then relate exquisitely personal details and worries. Because others feel extraordinarily comfortable with her, she may attract partners who need a therapist or who long for healing in some way.

Although the Nature Spirit easily appreciates the golden qualities in those around her, she tends to be a little vague about what makes her special. She needs time alone and in nature, with pets and wildlife, to feel balanced and restored. The more complex and tense are her responsibilities, the more she needs rest, naps, outdoor settings, and peace. She may attract partners who need healing or who are dominant and worldly, who find her tranquility acceptance irresistibly soothing.

A Nature Spirit’s Relationship Loop
Jan, a Nature Spirit woman I know, says that relationships happen to her while she is not paying much attention. She thinks relationships are wonderful but feels equally happy on her own.


That’s partially because, while she likes the idea of a relationship, she often finds the reality more difficult and even problematic. A typical relationship loop for the Nature Spirit looks like this:

• She befriends someone and they grow close, with promising chemistry. She showers the other person with acceptance and affection, spotting and celebrating his good qualities until that person’s heart flies open and love is born. 
• With her earthy and innocent sensuality, a warm romance blossoms. She is not thinking of commitment. 
• In the face of heartfelt intimacy, sweet sex, and true acceptance, the other person declares a full-blown relationship and one-ofa- kind true love. 
• She is surprised that this has happened to her yet again. She is forever being claimed as if by an astronaut putting a flag on the moon. She is not clear whether she wants to make a commitment, but it seems to be happening to her. 
• She has a tendency to go with the flow in social situations (which confuse her, so she tries to anticipate what is expected). She glides into being part of a couple without really being clear on how she feels about it or whether it is what she wanted for her future. 
• She enjoys the celebration, the congratulations, and the attention that go with a new and promising relationship while she fights down a sense of panic and uncertainty. 
• She strains to be a good partner and struggles to steal time alone for rest and contemplation. 
• Because she is unconsciously withdrawing for time alone and for restoration, her partner becomes insecure and demands more of her time and attention. 
• She begins to dream of escaping from prisons, concentration camps, and castles. She fantasizes about some disaster or some fluke freeing her from the relationship. She repeatedly tells herself that the relationship is perfectly nice and that she is very lucky to have it. 
• If there are problems, she will leave the relationship or foster its disintegration. If the partner is admirable and the affection is genuine, she may stay for quite a while but feel that she has lost her quiet, her sanctuary, and her time with nature, which is her spiritual touchstone.

The Nature Spirit is almost infinitely intuitive and grasps the truth about situations and people with astounding accuracy. She does not have a good feel for social conventions, however, and often has the sense of being an orphan or a changeling left on a doorstep. The Nature Spirit is very good at feeling a sense of oneness with the divine, with nature and humanity, but she worries about which fork to use at the banquet. She needs time alone the way the rest of us need oxygen, and she often gives up trying to explain this need to others: they seem incapable of understanding how central this is to her well-being and sanity. In partner relationships, she is very giving and accepting, but after spending time together, she also requires time alone to get back to her center.

Like a creature in the woods, the Nature Spirit can be extremely innocent and flee if she feels cornered. She can also be very trusting, and when she accepts someone with simple affection, they feel honored and uplifted.

The Nature Spirit’s Dreams
Although research suggests that women dream of indoor settings more often than men do, the Nature Spirit woman is an exception. She often dreams about driving in her car, exploring the woods or
seashore, or of being befriended by a wild animal who walks with her or protects her.

When she begins a romance, the Nature Spirit will have copious dreams about her partner. They will explore each other and the universe in numerous detailed dreams. She may have telepathic experiences involving her partner, in which she sees or senses what that person is going through. In early life, she may interpret these experiences as signs of having found her mate. In later years, she
will have learned that a sense of seeing into someone else’s experience is not unusual for her and is part of her overall lot in life.

Because of her goodwill toward almost everyone, she may be too accepting of serious drawbacks in a partner, thinking they are merely eccentricities. If this happens, she may begin to dream of being abducted by a dark force or an evil person, or even a monster.

In these dreams, she may develop a relationship with her captor so that she feels pity for him even while she fears for her safety and longs for her freedom. When a recurring cycle of these abduction dreams occurs, it is time for her to pay attention to the exaggerated illustration that something is very wrong. Her dreaming mind is saying, “You have been swept away, you have lost track, and this is not wholesome for you.” When she breaks off the relationship, she will be astonished to find that her friends had long ago labeled her partner as a loser.

When the Nature Spirit is falling in love, she will also fall in love spiritually. Of all the romantic types, the Nature Spirit is most likely to have an active spiritual or metaphysical interest. She may not be religious, but she feels that everything has a spirit, soul, or essence. When she loves someone, she loves his soul and may see qualities in a partner that have never been acknowledged before. Because she tends to be gentle and may be a good listener, some people assume she is weak or unassertive. Although she is not competitive or aggressive, she can be extremely powerful, like a lioness, when outraged. When angered or frustrated in a relationship, she may have dreams reminding her of her own power.

These dreams show her riding an elephant through the jungle, walking beside a lioness down a path, or taking the controls of a runaway vehicle.

If this woman feels trapped in a relationship, she will have recurring dreams of moving out of town, getting her own apartment, or even climbing out a window. These may alternate with fairly enjoyable dreams about her partner if the relationship is a good one, and the mix of the two themes can be confusing. What is happening is that her deeper mind is exploring what works and what does not work in the relationship. She needs to be free, not to explore other partners, but to explore her interests and to return to solitude and nature on a regular basis. If she can negotiate regular time off from the relationship, she can stay in and enjoy the partnership.

The Nature Spirit’s Intuition
When she is in balance and happy, the Nature Spirit glides through life in a series of synchronicities and magical moments that she notices and cherishes. She prefers to have pets in her home, if at all possible, and the presence of animals relaxes and comforts her. She may be an avid gardener, enjoy houseplants, or live in a setting that backs up to a natural area. When she is around people, machinery, technology, or concrete for too long, she begins to feel light-headed, muddled, drained, and annoyed. Though nothing is necessarily wrong, she begins to feel that signal that she needs to have time alone to sleep, dream, and read. If she cannot get away, she may feel slightly panicky and
depressed, even becoming a little weepy for little or no reason.

Some Nature Spirit women (who are benevolent humanitarians) report feeling flashes of hatred toward other drivers on the road or people in crowds when they are far out of balance and away
from nature. This is an intuitive signal that they have been too long removed from their core and need to negotiate time and room for themselves.

The Nature Spirit is highly intuitive and may even be what some would call psychic. She may have telepathic dreams of others, seeing what they are going through or what is going to happen.

The Nature Spirit is pretty clear on what others need but is less clear and less outspoken on her own behalf. Her intuition fires on all cylinders and will become highly sophisticated if she meditates or keeps a diary of her experiences.

When she is in a relationship, she will get immediate signals about the suitability of her partner. She should pay attention to pains in her body, twitches of tension, a feeling that she cannot or should not express herself or that her core needs are somehow flawed or wrong. Because the Nature Spirit may feel a lifelong sense of being out of place in the world, she may approach relationships believing that she needs to apologize for her quirks.

Because she survives in the complex labyrinth of social convention by sensing what is expected of her, she may get pretty far into a relationship by “guessing right” what is desired of her and providing
it, without being clear that she is creating an incomplete impression of herself.

Although many Nature Spirits are paragons of healthy living, many also suffer from mild degrees of intermittent anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive traits. When in balance, they are free from these qualities, or at least they remain only a memory; when they are stressed, trapped, or out of balance, their problem will flare up. The presentation of anxiety symptoms, depression, or obsessive-compulsive patterns is a strong intuitive signal that they are too far away from their center, should make time for restoration, and should negotiate hard with loved ones for the factors that will restore their luminous spirit.

Suggestions for Nature Spirits
Accept that your sympathetic, mystical style will attract not only people who want to sleep with you but also people who unexpectedly want to marry you or have a long-term commitment. Learn to respect your preferences, make them known without rancor, and negotiate for what you need.

Find ways that the feeling of not fitting in the world can dovetail with your occupation or your service to the world. This will change the way you feel about being an outsider and make you less
vulnerable to other people’s riptides.

Accept that other people will probably not fully comprehend what life is like for you, or why exactly you need so much time alone and in nature. They do not need to understand; they merely need to agree that you can have it without conflict or feeling hurt by it.

Practice saying what is, to you, obvious. It is not obvious to others, and they may be very frightened by your withdrawal or your quietness.

Understand that high-powered types, which you attract, need to be guided often, without anger, in learning how to treat you and how to love you. They need to be told a number of times what to
do, and each time they will be surprised by what you have already told them before. Be prepared to keep telling them as often as necessary, without reminding them you told them already!

Practice not feeling like a victim. You must get accustomed to negotiating, to giving and then taking, so that you don’t feel someone stole your life and you can never get it back again. Give people
some warning ahead of time that you are going away to hole up somewhere or are taking a class that interests you.

Don’t assume that because you have to explain yourself, to provide your schedule, and to teach others how to treat you means that they don’t love you. Even though you grasp an enormous amount of information about those you love, other personality types do not.

Pay attention to your bodily signals of well-being and your stress signals of anxiety, depression, or compulsivity as early as possible. When they flare up, go out of your way to rest and get time alone.

If you are having trouble making a decision or taking action, make it your focus to get rest and get back in balance; then you will see more clearly what you need to do.




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