WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PURPOSE

Love also serves as a life purpose, determining why we are here and how we fulfill ourselves.

Our life purpose can be to show all the love we have in every area of life—to ourselves, to everyone we know, to everyone on the planet, and to the planet itself.

Since each of us has a unique way of loving, our life purpose is to manifest our love in a style uniquely our own.

In this context, love can be felt as a calling, an impulse from within and beyond us to make our personal contribution to the world.


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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A COMMITMENT

As a commitment, love is likewise a verb.

It shows an ongoing and enduring dedication to acting in a trustworthy manner and in the best interests of others.

We are committed to loving unconditionally.

Thus, we want the best for others no matter how they treat us, although our commitment to loving ourselves does not allow us to take abuse.

Our commitment to loving in a relationship means keeping agreements, wanting the best for the other person, and working things out when conflicts arise.


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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A QUALITY

As a quality, love is a way of acting toward others. It is not a noun referring to an entity or abstraction. We cannot reify love or any other quality. It is like an adverb in grammar. It shows how
something is done. For instance, “I touched her lovingly” shows how I touched her.

The quality of our love increases as we show it more deeply and generously in our behavior. The quantity, or extent, of our love increases as we feel and show it to more people—from near and
dear to far and wide.

There is no compassion, love, or peace in a stand-alone or abstract way. They are human qualities, and we are truly human when they are our natural style of being in the world. Our humanity
is complete when we are compassion, are love, are peace.

Then we automatically show them everywhere and to everyone. The mystic poet William Blake sums this up so beautifully:
For Mercy has a human heart,
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine,
And Peace, the human dress.



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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS CAPACITY

As a capacity, love is our potential to form connections and commit to them. Each of us has the faculty to love fully beginning anytime, especially now.

We never lose our power and ability to let love into our lives and to act lovingly. The capacity to love cannot be canceled or erased by our past, no matter how damaging our experiences may have been.

What can be damaged are our ways of showing love and our expectations of what it should be. How little we have loved so far does not predict how much we can love now or in the future.



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WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS TOO ELUSICE

You are as prone to love as the sun is to shine; it being the most delightful and natural employment of the soul. —THOMAS TRAHERNE

LOVE IS TOO ELUSIVE and individualized to permit a definition. However, we can ask, “What can love be?” This is not a definition but a request for an ever-renewed invitation, something we can
keep daring to enter, like Alice persevering in her adventures in Wonderland.

We have described love by identifying its most basic ingredient: connection. The word connection is based on two Latin words: con meaning “together” and nectere meaning to bind or tie. The word was originally spelled connexion to reflect the past tense of the verb nectere, which is nexus. Love is a nexus that can happen along a wide spectrum. It can take many forms, from sending a kind letter to being sexually intimate to feeling a mystical oneness.

We are social animals, so connection is important to our survival. We imagine that connection can outlast our physical life, and thus it is usually included in our idea of a heavenly afterlife. We
picture heaven as a place where we will be united with our loved ones. That makes hell a place of disconnection, exclusion, excommunication. We recall the words of Father Zossima in Fyodor
Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov: “Hell is the suffering of no longer being able to love.” This gives us an insight into the metaphor of hell: It is more about mourning our love failures than about punishment for not being loving. Love is a connection that is caring, intended for good, respectful
of freedom, and genuinely sensitive to another’s needs, even making those needs as important as our own. This shift in attention to the needs of others deflates our own sense of self-importance.

WHERE TO BEGIN IN LIFE, IS LOVE THE SAFEST PLACE

THIS LITTLE LIFE OF OURS rests between a longing to be loved and a calling to show love. These two stunning possibilities, so tender, so fugitive, are the subject of these pages.
I must admit, however, as any book on love must be. My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize  that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.

The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.

Biology shows us that the universe is a vast web of interdependence from the cellular to the planetary level. Nothing exists by itself. There is no being-in-itself only being-in-relation-to. So to be is to be connected. Thus, relatedness, or connection, is the essence of our and of all being. Reality is relatedness. John Muir must have grasped this mystical fact when he wrote, “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.”

DATING TIPS: TRULY BE YOURSELF

Another counter-counter-intuitive breakthrough.

This includes stating your opinion and saying what you REALLY think and feel about things or in certain situations or response.

People relax more because they see where you're coming from and will even trust you more, provided you show that you are a trustworthy character.

I've steered away from certain people who I've extrapolated bad or negative energy or data from and it helped me because they were being themselves. So I hope that you are a positive guy with admirable qualities so that people can enjoy your company and experience when you're being yourself. And if you're really a disturbed person develop better qualities and then be yourself...

I don't know what to say there but you could still attract unhealthy minded women towards you for sex only if you know you have certain issues; most normal, healthy
men don't though.

I'm talking about being yourself upfront with a woman, TRULY.

DATING TIPS: RESPECT WOMEN

Now before you think either way what this could mean, read what I have to say.
I'm not talking about being a pansy or a nice guy.

Most guys 'act nice' and are NOT really being themselves, they just want to please her to ultimately get something in the end or really ARE afraid of her.

If you've been a 'nice guy' to women and end up as their friends... well are you really acting like yourself?

Or are you changing your entire physiology when a woman steps in the room?

You're actually disrespecting her by objectifying her and building up a mountain of false added value within yourself and placing a perception onto her without even giving her a chance.

Just be a man and give her a chance to see if she's more than just a pretty face; she'll respect YOU for being yourself.

DATING TIPS: LIVE IN YOUR REALITY

What really matters in your life is you.

And if you can keep your power for yourself and stop putting so much energy into showing overt interest in women, you'll discover that they'll start being attracted to you.

Especially because most men are throwing themselves at her and you're different.

She'll wonder why you aren't interested in her as well.

If you're living your reality and show to her that it's stronger than her socially 'approved' reality, and really are grounded in that power (connected to universal understanding), you're going to have massive power in your favor when it comes to naturally attracting women... this is what they want
anyways... a man who has his own things going on, who isn't 'desperate' to get women.

They want a man who can hold his own and not be thrown off in the presence of 'her highness'.

DATING TIPS: THINK ABUNDANTLY INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON ONE WOMAN

So many guys get caught up in the woman that is right in front of them or a 'special girl' that is just so wondrous and 'perfect'.

What they're doing is adding all kinds of value to her from their own perception without really knowing who she is (the other side of her).

Then if they marry her, they get to find out the 'other side' of her.

Most of the time a woman who is seemingly everything a man could want really ISN'T.
When she becomes the focus in the relationship dynamic between you two, the natural paradigm is shifted and she will resent it (having the power)... this never fails.

You start calling a woman too much and telling her 'she's everything' -- the phone calls will drop off and she'll 'need some time'.

It's simple, you betrayed the natural paradigm of being the lead in the relationship so that she can respond to you.

DATING TIPS: MAKE CONNECTIONS

Notice I didn't say 'approach women'.

I think that has a certain stigma which brings out past feelings of ineffectiveness in men creating more of a barrier to break. Living a healthy, balanced and social life however, you can 'make
connections'.

The most important things in life that you remember are experiences you have shared with other people.

In fact, all relationships must start with a connection... in a way, this is the essence of life and everything everyone hoped for.

You can continue to live in a fantasy world alone OR you can start making connections with women.
You don't have to do it all the time or every opportunity, but once you start developing a more interdependent state of mind and become more naturally proactive (instead of shark attack aggressive and focused on pussy), you can be meeting women and talking to them (and other people) everywhere you go.

No man is an island.

DATING TIPS: BECOME A MORE SOCIAL, INTERDEPENDENT PERSON

The beauty of this is that it's aligned to being a natural man who women are attracted to without having any of the creepy vibe that comes with going out of your way to approach her or trying to 'get something' from her.

It starts off nice and natural when you're being just a social person.

Once you start communicating with her, you can take it from PG-13 to rated R if you feel she is responsive to you.

Being social and naturally communicative stems from wanting to add value out into the world and never depends on seeking someone else's approval because you have your boundaries but you can share a lot of things with people because that's what life is about.

Ever notice how the life of the party guy usually has women all around him?
Well, why can't that be you?

Maybe it already IS you on the inside but you just need to bring it outwards.

DATING TIPS: OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF WOMEN

Seemingly impossible to do for many men but actually quite simple once you know your place in the circle of life.

You were meant to have the power and choice when it comes to women.

The strong will survive and showing that you really are fearless around women is something that very few men portray... especially around the empowered Aphrodites that we have today.

In order to become fearless, it's not just an inner game fix but you have to align yourself with many universal truths.

This will empower you to become more of the man you were supposed to be and less of a socially brainwashed and confused man.

Being fearless is the one aspect that women will keep coming back to in a man because it's always been a trait of natural attraction.

DATING TIPS: ALIGN YOURSELF TO AN UNDERSTANDING OF OUR FORCED REALITY AND OBTAIN A GLOBAL AND BIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE ON MODERN SOCIAL DYNAMICS

You have to understand that only until recently in our history, have we had 40 year old virgins.
This is a blatant violation of nature and natural selection when we have good guys who aren't (going through the) procreating (process).

By understanding how different American and independent/empowered women are from; how they were for a millennia, you'll begin to realize many important things.

You'll begin to take the power back and not from a chauvinistic viewpoint but rather from giving women what they really want.

It's in their blood to desire a man and not a wussboy who they can control DESPITE their socially developed character and modern reality.

DATING TIPS: STOP LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT PICK UP LINE

Just be a natural; it's the rare invisible ninja art.

So many people are teaching essentially the art of 'tricking her' into bed. I always knew there was something amiss with this, so I never got into it too much. Instead, I've had natural success with women from over two dozen countries (and the U.S. of course!) to date by just being a natural.
Yes, and that includes when I didn't even know their language.

The ability to attract and have success with women is a natural function. Look, they want sex just as much as we men do but in a different way. They theoretically even have to want it as much, or the natural balance would be thrown off and we wouldn't be here today.

It just is different when it comes to women. They're more turned on by a guy's energy than his looks alone. Plus they usually need to be 'warmed up' instead of having an instant hog wild sex desire for you. It's about how you are and how you communicate with her that really turns her on and opens your pathway; it's about your level of respect for yourself AND your unspoken respect for her and her body.

Learning pick up lines implies some quick fix or magic trick.

THE STAGES IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING

Understand Basic Female Psychology:
􀂾 Understanding how women think
􀂾 Understanding how women view dating/relationships
􀂾 Understanding what ‘motivates’ them

Understanding Basic Female Psychology - One of the very first steps in becoming ‘better’ with women is to first UNDERSTAND them; understand how they think, their perspectives on what dating & being in a relationship means to them, what are their core ‘motivators’ that gets them to take
notice of a guy & of course understanding exactly what triggers attraction within them for a man.

Mastering Your Inner Game:
􀂾 Breaking your limiting beliefs
􀂾 Developing the right mindset when interacting with women

DATING TIPS: BE THE 'R' RATED GUY AND NOT THE 'G' OR 'X' RATED GUY.

If you start throwing off a vibe like, "Yeah baby I want to pound your 'P@ssy and do you this way and that way," she's probably going to get creeped out completely and will never give you a chance.
Depending on the girl and situation you may get thrown in jail.

There's a time and place for that X-Rated stuff (adult chat rooms) and whether it is what's going through your mind or not, don't be showing that off to women you just met.

It also connotates too much dependency on having to 'have her' or 'take something' that you're objectifying (whether she has a nice ass or not).

I recommend being the 'R' rated guy (props goes to 'Swingers' the movie) instead of being the X rated guy.

WHAT FORMAL DRESS TO WEAR DURING DATE

FORMAL DRESS (MORNING DRESS AND WHITE TIE)

A caution for modern readers: the term "formal dress" is badly misused in today's society.
Wedding invitations are the chief offenders here. People will cheerfully request that their guests
appear in "formal dress" with no conception of what they're asking.

So let us be very clear: the term "formal dress" is a specific standard. There are two traditional
formal looks for men, at least in countries that do not have their own cultural formal dress: "morning
dress" in the daytime and "white tie" at night. Anything else is not truly "formal."

Even the tuxedo, which most Americans think of as "formal wear," is really only a semiformal outfit.
If invited to an official event like an awards ceremony or a ball that requests formal dress, wear the
appropriate daytime or evening costume. If it is a private, personal event like a wedding, and you are
unsure of the host's intention, check discreetly beforehand.

Daytime Formal Attire: Morning Dress

Of the two "formal dress" options available to most men, the daytime version is the less commonly
used.

It is most popular in England, where it is still worn by government officials at some of their public
functions, and occasionally by members of the aristocracy at high-formality social events.
The primary components of morning dress for men are:

WHAT TO WEAR AND WHEN TO WEAR IT DURING DATE

DRESS CODES, WRITTEN AND UNWRITTEN

There are only a few places where you're likely to see a formal dress code set down in writing.
Invitations are the most common. Workplaces may also have a "dress code," although in that case it
usually means a written set of policies rather than a simple one- or two-word category like you'd see
on an invitation.

That doesn't mean the concept is obsolete, however. Understanding the established dress codes as you
would see them written on an invitation is a useful shorthand for knowing how people are expected to
dress in other social and professional situations as well.

Different lists will include slightly different terms, but broadly speaking, the scale of men's dress
codes (from most formal to least) looks about like this:

• Formal Dress - a rarely-used standard for the most formal events
• Semiformal Dress - the typical modern default for high-formality events
• Business Dress - the standard for suit-and-tie workplaces and meetings
• Business Casual - a broad, relaxed code designed to be less formal than suits
• Casual - the catch-all category for "undress" social and work wear

SHOPPING FOR YOUR BODY TYPE AND POSTURE

Many men overlook the details of their body when they shop for clothes. In their minds, they're
thinking about what looks good on men in general, not about what will flatter them specifically.

Take it one step further when you shop, and start with the styles that suit your body best.

Styles for Short Men

The idea that short men always want to look taller is a bit insulting. You can look good without
buying into airbrushed stereotypes.

That said, short men do look good in styles that streamline their body and help the viewer's eye travel
easily up the length of their figure to their face.

To flatter a shorter body, look to eliminate unnecessary horizontal elements and thick, chunky details:
Starting at the feet, avoid shoes with needless seams or decorations on the uppers. Keeping the
footwear sleek and smooth on top may not seem that important, but it helps people's attention
focus on the upper body rather than the feet.

HOW TO BUILD A WARDROBE ON A BUDGET

One of the chief goals of this style guide was to make the information in it relevant and accessible.
A lot of fashion advice, we found, isn't, simply because it focuses so much on the higher end of things.

It's great to talk about bespoke tailoring and designer fashions with people who can afford to buy
those on a regular basis, but the reality is that most guys can't. Some acknowledgement needs to be
made that there are men out there who want to look sharp, but who are dressing on a budget.
So if you like the idea of looking nicer, but aren't going to be ordering custom-tailored suits any time
soon, don't despair. Here are some of the best ways you can shop for menswear without breaking the
bank:

1. Know Your Local Thrift Store (and Love It)

Get over any prejudices you might have and embrace the concept of thrift-store shopping.

Some of your best deals are going to come from thrift stores, consignment shops, and similar secondhand markets. The selection is a craps shoot, but the prices are good enough to justify the extra time that costs you.

Get in the habit of visiting your local thrift store (or stores) whenever you happen to pass by. If you
never happen to, make a point of doing it every month or two anyway.

The results will be varied. Depending on your body type and size, you may have a wide selection that
gets picked over quickly, a limited selection that no one's competing for, or something somewhere in
between.

FIVE PIECES OF CLOTHING EVERY MAN SHOULD OWN

For the most part, style is an individual statement. The goal is to feel confident making your own, not
to copy other men's.

That said, there are a few looks that are timeless and perfect. You shouldn't wear them every day, but
you should be able to pull them off when it's called for.

We've kept this list short. There are many other items of clothing that are also excellent and awesome
to own. If you bought only these items and stopped there, your wardrobe would be awfully boring
(also, you wouldn't have any underwear).

But you will never regret owning at least one of each of these items. So own them.

1. A Really Good Pair of Jeans

Doesn't matter if you wear jeans every day or if you only own the one pair -- own a really good pair.
What makes a really good pair of jeans?

They should be sturdy, comfortable, and versatile. You want jeans that aren't a statement all on their
own. The goal is to have pants that can be dressed up, dressed down; whatever -- they should look
equally good paired with a plain white T-shirt and with a sharp-cut suit jacket. Or with both at the
same time.