PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN

It’s not just a song. We all need a little help from our friends. If not now, tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the year after. Some people never realize it until it’s too late. They invest in stocks,
bonds, or real estate thinking money is going to give them the security and happiness they seek. Sadly, they neglect the most important investment of their lives—time spent finding, making,
and nurturing true friendships and true lasting love relationships.

Sometimes we are a nation of blockheads so blinded by sex, that we don’t see the true love for the birds and the bees. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the birds and the bees—we’re going
to talk about those captivating little critters. But with no myths, no false magic.) We’re going to get real about love and sex. Because all too often the lovebird sings sweet lies, and the bee stings too
hard. We’re also going to talk about friendship because, as we mature, same-sex and other-sex nonsexual friends take on an increasingly important role in our lives.

Here are some of the types of relationships we’re going to explore in How to Be a People Magnet.

Platonic Friendships
There’s No Such Thing! (Or Is There?)


Many people, especially men, say there’s no such thing as a platonic (as in no sex) friendship between a man and a woman— unless the two just plain don’t find each other sexually attractive.
The issue is further complicated by differing definitions of a platonic relationship. I asked one of my girlfriends to define a platonic relationship and her quick answer, devoid of emotion, was
“It is a friendship with an esteemed and appreciated individual of the male gender with whom sexual intercourse is neither advantageous nor desired.”

I then asked a male friend to define it. His answer, filled with angst, was “A platonic relationship is a transparent and sadistic ruse by which attractive and otherwise eligible females smash a male
acquaintance who shows romantic interest to smithereens by announcing to said acquaintance, ‘I just want to be friends.’ ” He paused, put his head in his hands, and added sadly, “Thereby ripping
out the poor schnook’s heart and shredding it to pieces.” He admitted that he had once been emotionally clobbered by a woman with that cruel club called “I just want to be friends.”
Excuse me, if I I may interject my opinion here (after all, I am the author of this book), I definitely feel men and women can have a platonic relationship. I should know, I have a great one. In
fact he’s more than a friend, he’s my roommate! (New York City apartment prices make strange non-bedfellows.) Phil’s candor about his various triumphs and tribulations with the weaker (ha!)
sex will flesh out and corroborate many of the studies upon which this book is based.

And, of Course, Love

The Magic That Makes the World Go ’Round.

Ah, yes, love. Love between a man and a woman is so mysterious, so miraculous, so marvelous it defies simple definition. It is the most deranged, delusive, and yet strangely most desired state of
all. This is the one we say we have no control over. We don’t speak of falling in friendship or falling into a network against our will. Yet we talk of falling in love, as if we tumbled into the boat against
our will.

Once we’ve fallen into the love boat, most of us forget to inspect the hull to see if it’s full of holes. We don’t even look at the charts to see where the relationship is going to take us! It’s a
beautiful sunny day so we just smile, hoist the sails, and let the winds take us out to sea.
He called? He sent flowers? He told you he loves you? It’s like a huge wave lifting you to the crest and you feel like you’re on top of the world. You laugh, you talk, you sing, you dance, you make
love and your universe is spinning.

She said she’s not ready for a relationship? She wants to be just friends? You suspect she’s seeing someone else? The wave crashes, you’re sucked under, and you think you’re drowning.
Now the early sunshine turns to a black sky, an ominous foreshadowing of a tempestuous storm. Blinded by the wind and the waves, you’re unable to steer the relationship and keep your balance
in the rocky love boat. It becomes a nightmare from which you can’t awake!

We’re going to talk a lot about love—how to get it, how to give it, how to keep it. You’ll also get some navigation lessons on how to circumvent the storms.




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