YOU ARE NOT A DISEASE OR DISORDER

If biology is not destiny and the brain is constantly sending out false messages, then it follows that you are not what your brain is trying to say you are. You are not a bad person just because those inaccurate and highly deceptive brain messages are present in your head. Rather, you are a person who is experiencing an onslaught of brain-based communications that are not true.

Accepting this fact, we know, can be challenging. Insidious and highly destructive, these types of false brain messages try to convince us that what we are feeling is the truth, that we are defined by our deceptive thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, these messages can become so ingrained and inculcated in our lives that they begin to provide a sense of familiarity and comfort—which makes it all the harder to try to give them up.



If you don’t believe it happens, consider this example from Ed. One day he posed a question to others he knew were also dealing with deceptive brain messages: “If you had a magic wand and could get rid of all your symptoms—be ‘normal’ right now—would you do it?” Surprisingly, some of the people hesitated in answering this question because their lives and identities had become so entwined with their symptoms. Despite improving considerably and having some knowledge that their brains were sending out these caustic messages, Ed’s acquaintances still had trouble de-identifying with their symptoms and their current way of life. Although they wanted to be free from the deceptive brain messages, they were also scared. Who would I be, they asked, if I didn’t have these thoughts, these feelings, these habits? After all, isn’t this what defines me? Isn’t this who I am? Although difficult to believe at first, the fact is the brain is distorting reality by framing the majority of your experiences through the lens of deceptive brain messages. The truth is that you are a good person, worthy of love, attention, affection, and more.

With time and repeated practice with the Four Steps, Ed came to know that this was true. He triumphantly realized one day: “This is just a reality my brain is creating. It is not the truth and I don’t have to believe it.” With this eloquent insight and an ever-increasing belief in himself and his abilities, Ed was able to lift the veil of his deceptive brain messages by saying to himself: “Don’t believe everything you think or feel!” Similarly, Sarah came to this empowering conclusion regarding her symptoms and identity: “This isn’t me, this is depression.”

Separating your identity, your true self, from the deceptive brain messages and unhealthy habits you’re engaging in is critical. Therefore, we cannot overstate this point: You are not a disease, problem, or disorder. You are a person struggling with upsetting symptoms from which you want to find relief. This distinction is crucial because people who realize that they are more than their symptoms feel like they have the power to overcome them. Without this belief in yourself and your abilities, the path to healing will be much more challenging. We hope that this knowledge, along with specific help from us throughout the book, will help you increase your ability to dismiss the deceptive, brain-based messages, believe in yourself, and change your life for the better.

YOU CAN SUCCEED
From the stories of Ed, Sarah, Abby, Steve, and Kara, it is clear that the brain can lead you down a
dangerous path resulting in depression, anxiety, troubled relationships, addiction, excessive anger, emotional isolation, and more. Their stories have highlighted a major roadblock you’ve likely been encountering: a lack of awareness that your brain was running the show.

The true message of this chapter is that you have the ability to define who you aspire to be (your true self) and align your behaviors with those goals. Let’s face it: This is no easy task. We know that to really alter your behavior requires that you fundamentally modify the choices you make on a daily or even minute-by-minute basis. We also know that you are going to have to fight against powerful brain biology in the Habit Center, which acts in a very efficient and automatic way outside of our awareness. Ultimately, you succeed when you recognize that it is not your fault that you are struggling —it’s just that your brain is simply doing what it does best—and resolve to make changes that are in your long-term best interest. That said, the fact that you are up against some intense brain biology does not get you off the hook or give you an excuse to give up—only you can free yourself from the tyranny of bad brain circuits.



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