The story of your life exists in your mental commentary about yourself and your life circumstances. Join us now as we return once again to the New York City Monday evening Instantaneous Transformation seminar, as written from Ariel’s point of view. Come explore with us and the other participants our transformational approach to creating magical relationships. It is also an opportunity to continue investigating the ways in which you categorize yourself.

Things in the room that Monday evening got quiet for a moment. Well, actually for more than a moment. Sometimes when the topic we have been discussing comes to a natural conclusion, there is a gap. When this happens, the silence becomes deafening as people mentally scramble to figure out what to do or say next. Of course, this is the same gap that comes before most acts of creation or before engaging in something new and challenging. It is the time when the mind steps in and tells you all of its reasons why you aren’t up to the task ahead or why you shouldn’t take that risk. You’re too fat, it whispers, you might be rejected. You’re too old/too young, it repeats insidiously. Don’t even try. You’re not qualifi ed. You might look stupid!
In our evening sessions, these quiet moments are the times when many have to wrestle with this private voice and the idea that what he or she has to say might be dumb, boring, or insignificant. Folks are fearful that what they are worrying about others might find unimportant, or they are afraid of finding out something bad about themselves.

As we sat there that evening, our eyes averted to the floor so as not to add any heat to the group’s already rising internal pressure, I was reminded of a film I used to check out from the school library when I was in fourth grade. The technology was a lot different back then. It was a lot less sophisticated than what is available now, but when I was nine, it was exciting nonetheless.

There is one thing I am certain of, though. If a person wants to stop fighting, anything can be used as an excuse to finish the battle. But if that same person wants to be right, if he or she is protecting his or her 6 percent, nothing—no matter how inspired—will be enough to have the conflict resolve. It was clear that this couple had so much invested in being right, that to give up making the other out to be the bad guy seemed
like an unthinkable sacrifice. They were each listening to an old familiar tape loop.

It was the one that ran the list of the other’s transgressions, and the soundtrack went something like this:
No, you don’t understand, it really is his fault. You don’t know him like I do. There was the time he . . .
I know how challenging it can be to let go of the story that someone else is the source of your misery. But I also know from experience that it is worth it.

Over the years, we have noticed that how an individual thinks is normal to that person. So if a person is depressed or worried, that is the way it is. But we have also realized that when a person lives in the moment and stops worrying, that becomes normal too.

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