HOW DO YOU FEEL IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

How Much Anxiety and Avoidance?

To learn how much attachment-related anxiety and attachment-related avoidance you experience, consider how well you fit the paragraphs below (Ainsworth, Blehar, Water, and Wall, 1978;
Simpson, Rholes, and Phillips, 1996; Collins, 1996; Feeney, Noller, and Hanrahan, 1994; Griffin and Bartholomew, 1994; Brennan, Clark, and Shaver, 1998; Levine and Heller, 2010). Rate yourself on a
scale of 0–10, with 0 being not at all and 10 being that you completely relate. Hold on to these numbers so that you can use them later in assessing your attachment style.


Attachment-Related Anxiety

Being totally emotionally close with my partner means everything to me. But other people don’t want to be as close as I would like to be, and my desire to be so close often scares them away. When I have a partner, I question myself and am concerned that I’m not as good as him or other people. I’m always worried that he doesn’t care about me as much as I care about him. And I also worry all the time about whether my partner really loves me, will stop loving me, or will decide to leave me. I’m especially worried that he’ll find someone else when we are not together.


Attachment-Related Avoidance

I am an independent, self-sufficient person, so I don’t need to be in a close, committed relationship. When I am in such a relationship, I prefer not to depend on my partner or to share deeply personal
thoughts and feelings. And it makes me uncomfortable when my partner wants to depend on me or to talk a lot about his thoughts and feelings. When I have problems, I tend to keep them to myself and
figure them out on my own, and I’d prefer it if my partner would do the same.



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