In the religious approach to “truth,” the priest makes a prediction – “worship my God and your harvest will be good” – and then invents “sinners” to take the blame if his prediction fails to materialize. In this way, the possibility of disproof – of personal responsibility for the priest – is eliminated.
All too often this is our default position in relationships as well. We enter into relationships based on our predictions of how they will turn out. Who but a masochist would continue dating a woman if he
knew for certain she would break his heart within six months? Would you marry a woman and have children with her if you knew that she would divorce you and take you for everything you had?
Of course not.
We make predictions about relationships – and then, when those predictions fail to come true, we invent “sinners” to take the blame.
We embark upon our relationships with the highest hopes and ambitions and then, when they crash in flames or peter out into nothing, we begin mythologizing the reasons why.
Showing posts with label Love FYI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love FYI. Show all posts
PHILIOSOPHY AND INTIMACY IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP
“On Truth: The Tyranny of Illusion,” and “Universally Preferable Behaviour: A Rational Proof of Secular Ethics,” mythology is the opposite of truth, since it provides the illusion of truth and so prevents further exploration.
In this I will argue that truth is a necessary prerequisite for intimacy.
“On Truth” was primarily about our relationship with our parents in the past. “Universally Preferable Behaviour” was primarily about our relationship with truth, reality and virtue in the present.
This is primarily about our relationship with ourselves and others in the future.
It is a about honesty of the most challenging and rewarding kind:
honesty with – and about – yourself.
Most times in life, we do not even know that we are lying. We do not know that we are failing to process reality – both inner and outer – correctly because we are addicted to mythology, or making up stories which drug us with the illusion of truth, rather than humbly pursuing truth in reality.
In our collective past, mythology dominated our thinking – particularly in the realms of ethics, society and reality. In the realm of ethics, we constructed vast imaginary entities such as gods, nations, states, classes and so on, all of which inevitably caused us to surrender our autonomy
and sense of personal control to the tall tales of madmen.
With regards to society – particularly family – we substituted blood and accidental proximity for virtue. We were – and are – trained by those who accidentally rule us biologically to submit to those who accidentally rule us geographically.
With regards to reality, we imagined that lurid, corrupt and insane tales about gods, devils and talking snakes could provide us some sort of truth about the material world.
The humility required to subject our wild and narcissistic imaginings to the twin disciplines of logic and evidence has been sorely lacking throughout human history, and it is not hard to see the effects of this lack of humility in the realms of science in the past and ethics in the present.
In the realm of our relationships, however, we remain positively medieval.
In the Middle Ages, when an eclipse was observed a myth was invented to “explain” the event. God was angry, a witch is among us, sinners abound and so on. Some senseless and brutal sacrifice was made, some hellish amalgam of torture and murder was inflicted on some hapless epileptic or imbecile, and “order” was restored – and anxiety reduced – to the temporary relief of all.
In the same way, in our personal relationships, when discomforts arise, we create stories to “explain away” our emotions.
If a man causes us anxiety, then he is “aggressive.” If a woman rejects us, then she is “cold.” If our child criticizes us, then he is “ungrateful.” If we get fired, our boss is “vindictive.” If our wife leaves us, women are “selfish.”
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
In this I will argue that truth is a necessary prerequisite for intimacy.
“On Truth” was primarily about our relationship with our parents in the past. “Universally Preferable Behaviour” was primarily about our relationship with truth, reality and virtue in the present.
This is primarily about our relationship with ourselves and others in the future.
It is a about honesty of the most challenging and rewarding kind:
honesty with – and about – yourself.
Most times in life, we do not even know that we are lying. We do not know that we are failing to process reality – both inner and outer – correctly because we are addicted to mythology, or making up stories which drug us with the illusion of truth, rather than humbly pursuing truth in reality.
In our collective past, mythology dominated our thinking – particularly in the realms of ethics, society and reality. In the realm of ethics, we constructed vast imaginary entities such as gods, nations, states, classes and so on, all of which inevitably caused us to surrender our autonomy
and sense of personal control to the tall tales of madmen.
With regards to society – particularly family – we substituted blood and accidental proximity for virtue. We were – and are – trained by those who accidentally rule us biologically to submit to those who accidentally rule us geographically.
With regards to reality, we imagined that lurid, corrupt and insane tales about gods, devils and talking snakes could provide us some sort of truth about the material world.
The humility required to subject our wild and narcissistic imaginings to the twin disciplines of logic and evidence has been sorely lacking throughout human history, and it is not hard to see the effects of this lack of humility in the realms of science in the past and ethics in the present.
In the realm of our relationships, however, we remain positively medieval.
In the Middle Ages, when an eclipse was observed a myth was invented to “explain” the event. God was angry, a witch is among us, sinners abound and so on. Some senseless and brutal sacrifice was made, some hellish amalgam of torture and murder was inflicted on some hapless epileptic or imbecile, and “order” was restored – and anxiety reduced – to the temporary relief of all.
In the same way, in our personal relationships, when discomforts arise, we create stories to “explain away” our emotions.
If a man causes us anxiety, then he is “aggressive.” If a woman rejects us, then she is “cold.” If our child criticizes us, then he is “ungrateful.” If we get fired, our boss is “vindictive.” If our wife leaves us, women are “selfish.”
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT CULTURE HAD TO DO WITH LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP
Most about relationships will talk about your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your children and so on. We will address all these in this book, but I have also included an analysis of your relationship to your society in terms of religion, politics and culture.
I don’t believe that it’s possible to effectively analyze and improve our interactions with others without taking into account the larger social or philosophical context that we inhabit. If we are to achieve our goals of honesty, integrity and true personal freedom, the values that were inflicted upon us as children by culture must be rigorously examined.
The directions that a passerby gives us will do us little good if our overall map is wrong.
Thus, this book will touch on your social, cultural and political relationships and the impact they have on your personal relationships.
Since your emotional reactions to these issues can be as strong as anything you feel about your personal relationships, excluding them from a book designed to give you happiness and peace of mind would leave the world at best half unexamined.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
I don’t believe that it’s possible to effectively analyze and improve our interactions with others without taking into account the larger social or philosophical context that we inhabit. If we are to achieve our goals of honesty, integrity and true personal freedom, the values that were inflicted upon us as children by culture must be rigorously examined.
The directions that a passerby gives us will do us little good if our overall map is wrong.
Thus, this book will touch on your social, cultural and political relationships and the impact they have on your personal relationships.
Since your emotional reactions to these issues can be as strong as anything you feel about your personal relationships, excluding them from a book designed to give you happiness and peace of mind would leave the world at best half unexamined.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
REAL TIME RELATIONSHIPS: THE LOGIC OF LOVE
Some of the greatest movies of the past ten years explored what it is like to live in an illusion. “The Sixth Sense,” “Fight Club” – and, greatest of all, “The Matrix.”
Let’s start with a spoiler or two, shall we? In “The Matrix,” a young man is awakened from a computer-generated imaginary world to find that he is enslaved by robots who are paralyzing him with the illusion of life in order to harvest his electrical energy.
This is a wonderful metaphor on many levels, and tells us an enormous amount about our “relationship” with truth and reality.
In the movie, the robots that were originally invented to serve mankind end up ruling mankind and spinning an illusory “reality” which keeps their former masters entombed in the mere appearance of a life. My take on this metaphor is that it is really describing propaganda.
For instance, the government is an institution that was originally designed to serve citizens – “government by and for the people.” However, as we have seen countless times, what we create to serve us ends up ruling us.
Let’s start with a spoiler or two, shall we? In “The Matrix,” a young man is awakened from a computer-generated imaginary world to find that he is enslaved by robots who are paralyzing him with the illusion of life in order to harvest his electrical energy.
This is a wonderful metaphor on many levels, and tells us an enormous amount about our “relationship” with truth and reality.
In the movie, the robots that were originally invented to serve mankind end up ruling mankind and spinning an illusory “reality” which keeps their former masters entombed in the mere appearance of a life. My take on this metaphor is that it is really describing propaganda.
For instance, the government is an institution that was originally designed to serve citizens – “government by and for the people.” However, as we have seen countless times, what we create to serve us ends up ruling us.
THE ARC OF A RELATIONSHIP
A typical dysfunctional romantic relationship tends to have distinct phases.
CAUTION
When two people meet and are romantically interested in each other, there tends to be a phase of initial caution in which they examine each other for potential compatibility.
We will call this man “Bruce,” and this woman “Sheila.” The more functional the individuals, the longer this phase lasts. If an insecure woman is looking for an insecure man, this phase tends to be
very short. When they first meet, she looks for “markers” indicating low levels of self-esteem. These can include a lack of eye contact, a nervous laugh, tattoos, drug use, compulsive joke-telling, underachievement, pomposity, or a kind of baseless arrogance.
Once Sheila establishes that Bruce’s self-esteem is either genuinely low or artificially “high,” she immediately feels more comfortable with him.
CAUTION
When two people meet and are romantically interested in each other, there tends to be a phase of initial caution in which they examine each other for potential compatibility.
We will call this man “Bruce,” and this woman “Sheila.” The more functional the individuals, the longer this phase lasts. If an insecure woman is looking for an insecure man, this phase tends to be
very short. When they first meet, she looks for “markers” indicating low levels of self-esteem. These can include a lack of eye contact, a nervous laugh, tattoos, drug use, compulsive joke-telling, underachievement, pomposity, or a kind of baseless arrogance.
Once Sheila establishes that Bruce’s self-esteem is either genuinely low or artificially “high,” she immediately feels more comfortable with him.
WIN OR LOSE IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP
Why do these conflicts continually escalate in this manner?
One central tragedy of our lives is that we are so often raised in win/lose relationships. If our parents get offended, we are punished. If our teacher gets angry, we get detention. If we want something, someone else must give up something.
This same pattern repeats itself in all of our adult relationships. Most lovers only know how to “get their way” through either overt aggression, or passive aggression (in general, the male and female tools, respectively).
Men say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be angry.”
Women say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be sad.”
These strategies generally result from a fundamentally narcissistic approach to the world. The possibility of a win-win negotiation is never considered, because it has never been taught or demonstrated.
Let’s take a more concrete example.
My wife Christina really enjoys watching a television show called “Dancing with the Stars.” I do like watching the dance routines, but have a tough time making it through all the filler and commercials. Last night, I went upstairs to get a DVD for us to watch and then when I came downstairs saw that Christina had found the show on TV and was settling in to watch it.
I would have preferred it if she had not found the show – so that we could watch the DVD – but that was sort of out of my hands at this point.
Many couples would look upon this as a win/lose situation – that Christina would watch the show and I would suffer through the filler and commercials, or that Christina would not get to watch her show, and watch the DVD I chose instead. Or, perhaps, that Christina would tape the show and watch it on her own, or some other solution.
However, although I would have preferred to watch the DVD, I sat down and happily watched the dancing show.
How is that possible?
Well, quite simply it is possible because I take an enormous amount of pleasure in my wife’s pleasure. (Shoe shopping excepted, of course – I am only a mortal man!)
I love watching the play of delight on my wife’s face and the intensity of her enjoyment. To take pleasure in the pleasure of another human being is foundational to a loving relationship. It certainly is true that I would have received 100% pleasure from watching the DVD, and 90% pleasure from watching my wife’s enjoyment of the dancing show, but I can scarcely claim to be hard done by because I had to choose between 100% pleasure and 90% pleasure!
If you cannot take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure, then win-win negotiations become impossible. If I got +100% pleasure from watching my DVD, and -100% pleasure from watching the dancing show – and if my wife faced the reverse proposition – then one of us would have to win, and the other would have to lose.
This concept of the “minor sacrifice” is something that every couple should openly discuss and work on. I very much want my wife to be happy in our marriage, because if she is not happy then I cannot be happy either. If I get exactly what I want every single time, no matter what her preferences, then it is impossible – according to the principles of Universally Preferable Behaviour – for her to remain happy.
Since my happiness depends on remaining married to her, my happiness can never in general exceed hers in the long run.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
One central tragedy of our lives is that we are so often raised in win/lose relationships. If our parents get offended, we are punished. If our teacher gets angry, we get detention. If we want something, someone else must give up something.
This same pattern repeats itself in all of our adult relationships. Most lovers only know how to “get their way” through either overt aggression, or passive aggression (in general, the male and female tools, respectively).
Men say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be angry.”
Women say: “If I don’t get what I want, I will be sad.”
These strategies generally result from a fundamentally narcissistic approach to the world. The possibility of a win-win negotiation is never considered, because it has never been taught or demonstrated.
Let’s take a more concrete example.
My wife Christina really enjoys watching a television show called “Dancing with the Stars.” I do like watching the dance routines, but have a tough time making it through all the filler and commercials. Last night, I went upstairs to get a DVD for us to watch and then when I came downstairs saw that Christina had found the show on TV and was settling in to watch it.
I would have preferred it if she had not found the show – so that we could watch the DVD – but that was sort of out of my hands at this point.
Many couples would look upon this as a win/lose situation – that Christina would watch the show and I would suffer through the filler and commercials, or that Christina would not get to watch her show, and watch the DVD I chose instead. Or, perhaps, that Christina would tape the show and watch it on her own, or some other solution.
However, although I would have preferred to watch the DVD, I sat down and happily watched the dancing show.
How is that possible?
Well, quite simply it is possible because I take an enormous amount of pleasure in my wife’s pleasure. (Shoe shopping excepted, of course – I am only a mortal man!)
I love watching the play of delight on my wife’s face and the intensity of her enjoyment. To take pleasure in the pleasure of another human being is foundational to a loving relationship. It certainly is true that I would have received 100% pleasure from watching the DVD, and 90% pleasure from watching my wife’s enjoyment of the dancing show, but I can scarcely claim to be hard done by because I had to choose between 100% pleasure and 90% pleasure!
If you cannot take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure, then win-win negotiations become impossible. If I got +100% pleasure from watching my DVD, and -100% pleasure from watching the dancing show – and if my wife faced the reverse proposition – then one of us would have to win, and the other would have to lose.
This concept of the “minor sacrifice” is something that every couple should openly discuss and work on. I very much want my wife to be happy in our marriage, because if she is not happy then I cannot be happy either. If I get exactly what I want every single time, no matter what her preferences, then it is impossible – according to the principles of Universally Preferable Behaviour – for her to remain happy.
Since my happiness depends on remaining married to her, my happiness can never in general exceed hers in the long run.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
THAT PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
We’ve all dreamt of it at some point or another.
Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then spending the rest of your lives together happily ever after. OK you can wake up now. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that then someone needs to tell me the secret. No relationship forms and lasts without its fair share of
hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the relationship stronger. But sometimes it can blow the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream you once had. That’s why it’s important to get things off to a good start from the word go.
The perfect relationship would consist of 100% trust, amazing communication and openness, the desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects of each other’s lives and to support each other through anything that life throws at you. This can happen. It just takes the right start.
I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of the book, so prepare yourself for that. But let’s face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet important challenge so they need to be told. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…right?
Unfortunately there are countless factors that contribute to how every individual behaves in a relationship so the perfect relationship would be pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one. But don’t give up, relationships can be amazing.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then spending the rest of your lives together happily ever after. OK you can wake up now. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that then someone needs to tell me the secret. No relationship forms and lasts without its fair share of
hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the relationship stronger. But sometimes it can blow the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream you once had. That’s why it’s important to get things off to a good start from the word go.
The perfect relationship would consist of 100% trust, amazing communication and openness, the desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects of each other’s lives and to support each other through anything that life throws at you. This can happen. It just takes the right start.
I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of the book, so prepare yourself for that. But let’s face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet important challenge so they need to be told. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…right?
Unfortunately there are countless factors that contribute to how every individual behaves in a relationship so the perfect relationship would be pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one. But don’t give up, relationships can be amazing.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
32 COMMITMENTS TO LOVING KINDNESS TOWARD OURSELVES AND OTHERS
1. I do my best to keep my word, honor commitments, and follow through on the tasks I agree to do.
2. I am making every effort to abide by standards of rigorous honesty and respect in all my dealings, no matter how others act toward me.
3. I forgo taking advantage of anyone because of his or her ignorance, misfortune, or financial straits. My question is not “What can I get away with?” but “What is the right thing to do?” If I fall down in this, I can admit it, make amends, and resolve to act differently next time. Now I apologize more
easily and willingly when necessary.
4. If someone is overly generous toward me or has an exaggerated sense of obligation to me, I do not want to exploit his or her lack of boundaries. Instead, I want to express appreciation and work out an equitable way of interacting.
5. I keep examining my conscience with true candor. I take searching inventories of how I may have harmed others; how I may not have activated my potentials or shared my gifts; how I may still be holding on to prejudices or the will to retaliate; and how I may still not be as loving, inclusive,
and open as I can be.
6. I welcome feedback that shows me where I am less caring, less tolerant, and less open about my real feelings than I can be. When I am shown up as a pretender or called on being mean or inauthentic, I am not defensive but take it as information about what I have to work on. I appreciate positive feedback also.
2. I am making every effort to abide by standards of rigorous honesty and respect in all my dealings, no matter how others act toward me.
3. I forgo taking advantage of anyone because of his or her ignorance, misfortune, or financial straits. My question is not “What can I get away with?” but “What is the right thing to do?” If I fall down in this, I can admit it, make amends, and resolve to act differently next time. Now I apologize more
easily and willingly when necessary.
4. If someone is overly generous toward me or has an exaggerated sense of obligation to me, I do not want to exploit his or her lack of boundaries. Instead, I want to express appreciation and work out an equitable way of interacting.
5. I keep examining my conscience with true candor. I take searching inventories of how I may have harmed others; how I may not have activated my potentials or shared my gifts; how I may still be holding on to prejudices or the will to retaliate; and how I may still not be as loving, inclusive,
and open as I can be.
6. I welcome feedback that shows me where I am less caring, less tolerant, and less open about my real feelings than I can be. When I am shown up as a pretender or called on being mean or inauthentic, I am not defensive but take it as information about what I have to work on. I appreciate positive feedback also.
WHAT ARE THE OTHER FORMS OF LOVE
Compassion
Another form of love is compassion. Concern for others’ pain helps divest us of ego-centeredness. This is why compassion can so easily be a bridge to the agape style of loving.
In my own life, I noticed an advance in compassion in a singular way. I saw a film version of Macbeth, and instead of my usual dislike of the main character, I felt compassion for him. I saw how
caught up he was in ambition and fear, and I felt sorry for his woebegone state. I did not condone his murderous behavior, but I appreciated his plight in a more humane way than I had in previous readings and viewings of the play. Something had happened in me; there was a new judgment-free openness, a way of connecting to others, even when they were not very appealing. That was a
sign that I was moving more in the direction of agape, which is always a move away from judging others. I have gradually realized that openness is how love happens.
In this context, compassion is not based on pity for someone’s plight. It is not top-down but nondual. Indeed, compassion is not a virtue that we may or may not have. It is the way love, always in
us, responds to others’ pain. That pain tugs at us because of our natural bond in the worldwide human family. To forgo a compassionate response is to contravene a natural inclination. Compassion
in this sense is not just feeling sorry for the suffering of others.
Another form of love is compassion. Concern for others’ pain helps divest us of ego-centeredness. This is why compassion can so easily be a bridge to the agape style of loving.
In my own life, I noticed an advance in compassion in a singular way. I saw a film version of Macbeth, and instead of my usual dislike of the main character, I felt compassion for him. I saw how
caught up he was in ambition and fear, and I felt sorry for his woebegone state. I did not condone his murderous behavior, but I appreciated his plight in a more humane way than I had in previous readings and viewings of the play. Something had happened in me; there was a new judgment-free openness, a way of connecting to others, even when they were not very appealing. That was a
sign that I was moving more in the direction of agape, which is always a move away from judging others. I have gradually realized that openness is how love happens.
In this context, compassion is not based on pity for someone’s plight. It is not top-down but nondual. Indeed, compassion is not a virtue that we may or may not have. It is the way love, always in
us, responds to others’ pain. That pain tugs at us because of our natural bond in the worldwide human family. To forgo a compassionate response is to contravene a natural inclination. Compassion
in this sense is not just feeling sorry for the suffering of others.
WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE
Ancient Greek philosophers delineated four main types of love: storge, eros, philia, and agape.
Storge is family love, especially between parents and children. This love can endure even when there is neglect or abuse. For instance, we know we love our relatives, even though we do not always trust them to give us the five A’s. A family bond can offer safety and security but at the price of having to camouflage part of who we are. Thus, our loving connection within our family sometimes transcends even the importance of self-emergence. Signs of love may not be apparent in our relatives’ behavior, but we still know they love us and we love them; our mutual loyalty remains. In our affection for our family, we certainly learn how to practice unconditional love.
Eros is passionate love, which we experience most potently in the in-love state. Eros includes, but is not limited to, sexual passion. It is often initiated or sustained by an attraction to physical qualities. The erotic love we feel for a special someone in our lives may be part of a committed intimate bond. It can also be a feel good attachment in the moment that will not be sustained. Eros can be both a longing for and a union with the beloved. This is because eros includes pleasure from both fulfillment of our longings and our longing for fulfillment. Eros also refers to the sensuous, passionate, lively, and creative dimension to human life in general. It can therefore be active between friends or in any relationship without being manifested sexually. Carl Jung, in Dream Analysis: Notes of the Seminar,
said, “People think that Eros is sex, but not at all; Eros is relatedness.” We can appreciate intimate love as more than erotic, and it can include friendship.
Storge is family love, especially between parents and children. This love can endure even when there is neglect or abuse. For instance, we know we love our relatives, even though we do not always trust them to give us the five A’s. A family bond can offer safety and security but at the price of having to camouflage part of who we are. Thus, our loving connection within our family sometimes transcends even the importance of self-emergence. Signs of love may not be apparent in our relatives’ behavior, but we still know they love us and we love them; our mutual loyalty remains. In our affection for our family, we certainly learn how to practice unconditional love.
Eros is passionate love, which we experience most potently in the in-love state. Eros includes, but is not limited to, sexual passion. It is often initiated or sustained by an attraction to physical qualities. The erotic love we feel for a special someone in our lives may be part of a committed intimate bond. It can also be a feel good attachment in the moment that will not be sustained. Eros can be both a longing for and a union with the beloved. This is because eros includes pleasure from both fulfillment of our longings and our longing for fulfillment. Eros also refers to the sensuous, passionate, lively, and creative dimension to human life in general. It can therefore be active between friends or in any relationship without being manifested sexually. Carl Jung, in Dream Analysis: Notes of the Seminar,
said, “People think that Eros is sex, but not at all; Eros is relatedness.” We can appreciate intimate love as more than erotic, and it can include friendship.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PRACTICE
It is always up to us to expend the energy it takes to act with love in accordance with the grace we are given. Thus, love is a practice. We do not have to strive for love; it is in us already, but it takes
practice to show it. Some specific ways of practicing love are by showing what I call the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These are the components of love
that make a relationship a truly caring connection. They can be directed toward ourselves and others.
• We pay attention with an engaged and sustained alertness to the needs and feelings of ourselves and others, both by listening and by awareness of nonverbal cues. We are genuinely interested in who we and others really are and what we/they feel.
• We accept ourselves and others just as we are, free of judgments or censure. At the same time, we are discerning. We acknowledge the appealing side of ourselves and others all the way to the top and the unappealing side all the way to the bottom, while love continues unchecked and undiminished.
• We appreciate, or value, ourselves and others. To value people is to cherish their worth. It is an unconditional worth since it cannot be damaged or erased. It is not based on behavior, history, successes, or failures. Appreciation also includes acknowledgment of the good that others do and thanking them and of the goodness they are and praising it.
practice to show it. Some specific ways of practicing love are by showing what I call the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These are the components of love
that make a relationship a truly caring connection. They can be directed toward ourselves and others.
• We pay attention with an engaged and sustained alertness to the needs and feelings of ourselves and others, both by listening and by awareness of nonverbal cues. We are genuinely interested in who we and others really are and what we/they feel.
• We accept ourselves and others just as we are, free of judgments or censure. At the same time, we are discerning. We acknowledge the appealing side of ourselves and others all the way to the top and the unappealing side all the way to the bottom, while love continues unchecked and undiminished.
• We appreciate, or value, ourselves and others. To value people is to cherish their worth. It is an unconditional worth since it cannot be damaged or erased. It is not based on behavior, history, successes, or failures. Appreciation also includes acknowledgment of the good that others do and thanking them and of the goodness they are and praising it.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A GRACE
We do not accomplish such a magnificent feat entirely on our own. Thus, love is also a grace we were given at birth, part of our human endowment, a gift that can be opened and reopened all
through life. Grace is the special help that seems to come to us from beyond our ego. Thus, it is from a source that transcends our powers of control. We cannot make it happen, but it can’t help but
happen when we are open to it.
In Sonnet 87, Shakespeare alludes to grace: “The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting.” Grace is not based on our efforts or accomplishments;
through life. Grace is the special help that seems to come to us from beyond our ego. Thus, it is from a source that transcends our powers of control. We cannot make it happen, but it can’t help but
happen when we are open to it.
In Sonnet 87, Shakespeare alludes to grace: “The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting.” Grace is not based on our efforts or accomplishments;
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A PURPOSE
Love also serves as a life purpose, determining why we are here and how we fulfill ourselves.
Our life purpose can be to show all the love we have in every area of life—to ourselves, to everyone we know, to everyone on the planet, and to the planet itself.
Since each of us has a unique way of loving, our life purpose is to manifest our love in a style uniquely our own.
In this context, love can be felt as a calling, an impulse from within and beyond us to make our personal contribution to the world.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
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Our life purpose can be to show all the love we have in every area of life—to ourselves, to everyone we know, to everyone on the planet, and to the planet itself.
Since each of us has a unique way of loving, our life purpose is to manifest our love in a style uniquely our own.
In this context, love can be felt as a calling, an impulse from within and beyond us to make our personal contribution to the world.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A COMMITMENT
As a commitment, love is likewise a verb.
It shows an ongoing and enduring dedication to acting in a trustworthy manner and in the best interests of others.
We are committed to loving unconditionally.
Thus, we want the best for others no matter how they treat us, although our commitment to loving ourselves does not allow us to take abuse.
Our commitment to loving in a relationship means keeping agreements, wanting the best for the other person, and working things out when conflicts arise.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
It shows an ongoing and enduring dedication to acting in a trustworthy manner and in the best interests of others.
We are committed to loving unconditionally.
Thus, we want the best for others no matter how they treat us, although our commitment to loving ourselves does not allow us to take abuse.
Our commitment to loving in a relationship means keeping agreements, wanting the best for the other person, and working things out when conflicts arise.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE AS A QUALITY
As a quality, love is a way of acting toward others. It is not a noun referring to an entity or abstraction. We cannot reify love or any other quality. It is like an adverb in grammar. It shows how
something is done. For instance, “I touched her lovingly” shows how I touched her.
The quality of our love increases as we show it more deeply and generously in our behavior. The quantity, or extent, of our love increases as we feel and show it to more people—from near and
dear to far and wide.
There is no compassion, love, or peace in a stand-alone or abstract way. They are human qualities, and we are truly human when they are our natural style of being in the world. Our humanity
is complete when we are compassion, are love, are peace.
Then we automatically show them everywhere and to everyone. The mystic poet William Blake sums this up so beautifully:
For Mercy has a human heart,
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine,
And Peace, the human dress.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
something is done. For instance, “I touched her lovingly” shows how I touched her.
The quality of our love increases as we show it more deeply and generously in our behavior. The quantity, or extent, of our love increases as we feel and show it to more people—from near and
dear to far and wide.
There is no compassion, love, or peace in a stand-alone or abstract way. They are human qualities, and we are truly human when they are our natural style of being in the world. Our humanity
is complete when we are compassion, are love, are peace.
Then we automatically show them everywhere and to everyone. The mystic poet William Blake sums this up so beautifully:
For Mercy has a human heart,
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine,
And Peace, the human dress.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS CAPACITY
As a capacity, love is our potential to form connections and commit to them. Each of us has the faculty to love fully beginning anytime, especially now.
We never lose our power and ability to let love into our lives and to act lovingly. The capacity to love cannot be canceled or erased by our past, no matter how damaging our experiences may have been.
What can be damaged are our ways of showing love and our expectations of what it should be. How little we have loved so far does not predict how much we can love now or in the future.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
We never lose our power and ability to let love into our lives and to act lovingly. The capacity to love cannot be canceled or erased by our past, no matter how damaging our experiences may have been.
What can be damaged are our ways of showing love and our expectations of what it should be. How little we have loved so far does not predict how much we can love now or in the future.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT IS LOVE, LOVE IS TOO ELUSICE
You are as prone to love as the sun is to shine; it being the most delightful and natural employment of the soul. —THOMAS TRAHERNE
LOVE IS TOO ELUSIVE and individualized to permit a definition. However, we can ask, “What can love be?” This is not a definition but a request for an ever-renewed invitation, something we can
keep daring to enter, like Alice persevering in her adventures in Wonderland.
We have described love by identifying its most basic ingredient: connection. The word connection is based on two Latin words: con meaning “together” and nectere meaning to bind or tie. The word was originally spelled connexion to reflect the past tense of the verb nectere, which is nexus. Love is a nexus that can happen along a wide spectrum. It can take many forms, from sending a kind letter to being sexually intimate to feeling a mystical oneness.
We are social animals, so connection is important to our survival. We imagine that connection can outlast our physical life, and thus it is usually included in our idea of a heavenly afterlife. We
picture heaven as a place where we will be united with our loved ones. That makes hell a place of disconnection, exclusion, excommunication. We recall the words of Father Zossima in Fyodor
Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov: “Hell is the suffering of no longer being able to love.” This gives us an insight into the metaphor of hell: It is more about mourning our love failures than about punishment for not being loving. Love is a connection that is caring, intended for good, respectful
of freedom, and genuinely sensitive to another’s needs, even making those needs as important as our own. This shift in attention to the needs of others deflates our own sense of self-importance.
LOVE IS TOO ELUSIVE and individualized to permit a definition. However, we can ask, “What can love be?” This is not a definition but a request for an ever-renewed invitation, something we can
keep daring to enter, like Alice persevering in her adventures in Wonderland.
We have described love by identifying its most basic ingredient: connection. The word connection is based on two Latin words: con meaning “together” and nectere meaning to bind or tie. The word was originally spelled connexion to reflect the past tense of the verb nectere, which is nexus. Love is a nexus that can happen along a wide spectrum. It can take many forms, from sending a kind letter to being sexually intimate to feeling a mystical oneness.
We are social animals, so connection is important to our survival. We imagine that connection can outlast our physical life, and thus it is usually included in our idea of a heavenly afterlife. We
picture heaven as a place where we will be united with our loved ones. That makes hell a place of disconnection, exclusion, excommunication. We recall the words of Father Zossima in Fyodor
Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov: “Hell is the suffering of no longer being able to love.” This gives us an insight into the metaphor of hell: It is more about mourning our love failures than about punishment for not being loving. Love is a connection that is caring, intended for good, respectful
of freedom, and genuinely sensitive to another’s needs, even making those needs as important as our own. This shift in attention to the needs of others deflates our own sense of self-importance.
WHERE TO BEGIN IN LIFE, IS LOVE THE SAFEST PLACE
THIS LITTLE LIFE OF OURS rests between a longing to be loved and a calling to show love. These two stunning possibilities, so tender, so fugitive, are the subject of these pages.
I must admit, however, as any book on love must be. My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.
The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.
Biology shows us that the universe is a vast web of interdependence from the cellular to the planetary level. Nothing exists by itself. There is no being-in-itself only being-in-relation-to. So to be is to be connected. Thus, relatedness, or connection, is the essence of our and of all being. Reality is relatedness. John Muir must have grasped this mystical fact when he wrote, “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.”
I must admit, however, as any book on love must be. My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.
The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.
Biology shows us that the universe is a vast web of interdependence from the cellular to the planetary level. Nothing exists by itself. There is no being-in-itself only being-in-relation-to. So to be is to be connected. Thus, relatedness, or connection, is the essence of our and of all being. Reality is relatedness. John Muir must have grasped this mystical fact when he wrote, “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.”
WHY ARE WOMEN BEING JUDGED
Did You Know?
Women who have casual sex are judged harshly by men and other women.
In a recent study, my colleagues and I gave men and women a scenario: we described a person’s sexual experiences, and then asked the participants to rate how they viewed this person.
When the scenario was about a man having casual sex, men and women were more accepting of the man’s behavior.
But when the scenario was about a woman instead—and the remaining details of the story were identical—men and women judged the woman harshly.
No matter how we modified the scenarios, women who were having casual sex were judged negatively by others.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
Women who have casual sex are judged harshly by men and other women.
In a recent study, my colleagues and I gave men and women a scenario: we described a person’s sexual experiences, and then asked the participants to rate how they viewed this person.
When the scenario was about a man having casual sex, men and women were more accepting of the man’s behavior.
But when the scenario was about a woman instead—and the remaining details of the story were identical—men and women judged the woman harshly.
No matter how we modified the scenarios, women who were having casual sex were judged negatively by others.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR A MAN
Did You Know?
A woman’s pre-programmed genetic desire to find a “good provider” influences many of her choices, even when she least suspects it.
Researchers in Austria have found that even the car a man drives may influence how a woman views a potential mate.
Women were asked to rate pictures of the fronts of cars, just as they would rate photos of men, and to assign the cars personality characteristics (such as “strong,” “weak,” “friendly,” or “powerful”).
Women preferred cars that projected status, dominance, and power, because they assumed the men driving these cars were financially stable, strong, and had the ability to provide for a family.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
A woman’s pre-programmed genetic desire to find a “good provider” influences many of her choices, even when she least suspects it.
Researchers in Austria have found that even the car a man drives may influence how a woman views a potential mate.
Women were asked to rate pictures of the fronts of cars, just as they would rate photos of men, and to assign the cars personality characteristics (such as “strong,” “weak,” “friendly,” or “powerful”).
Women preferred cars that projected status, dominance, and power, because they assumed the men driving these cars were financially stable, strong, and had the ability to provide for a family.
If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.
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