STYLE FOUR : THE DOLPHIN

The Dolphin personality type, like the highly evolved dolphin, is extremely friendly and intelligent. She is an avid communicator with a gift for conversation. She also understands deep and powerful
feelings. She can swim in the waters of feelings better than almost anyone else, and no matter where a conversation goes or what feelings emerge, she is always able to stay present. One of her stellar gifts is her ability to articulate the depths of emotion.

Like the dolphin who swims in the ocean but breathes air, she is a creature who must have free access to both emotion and conversation to feel like herself.

The Dolphin may achieve enormous success if her work enables her to merge her gifts of conversation and emotional depth. Oprah Winfrey is an example of a Dolphin type who has used her gifts to create an ideal path in life. Her ability to alternate between genius communicator and emotional transformative agent captivates and uplifts her audience. Another characteristic of the Dolphin personality is a tendency to feel a calling to save or rescue others, and she may become involved in animal rescue or a career path that is larger than life, allowing her to affect large numbers of people in a positive way.

Of all the personality types, the Dolphin may be prone to an on-again-off-again battle with weight and food, although she does not necessarily seem to overeat or make poor food choices. One
Dolphin type told me that she lost forty pounds without really dieting when she left an emotionally toxic situation. Her body knew when it was safe and shed the insulation that had unconsciously
formed around her when she was in an unhappy environment.


The Dolphin’s Relationship Loop
Dolphins crave relationship and intimacy. They do not feel that it is fine to go it alone—they want to share their lives and their experiences with someone they love. Once they enter a relationship,
they want and expect to make it last. The Dolphin finds it very hard to give up on a partner. Even if Dolphins are not happy, they tend to stick it out and try to do the giving, loving, and understanding
for both parties. One Dolphin I know, Helen, married young and after a few years found the relationship unfulfilling, but it did not occur to her to end the relationship. Her relationship loop looked like this:

• She attracts a dry but likeable man who is fascinated by her emotional intensity and her understanding of the feeling realm. She is socially sophisticated and funny, and her charm and loving spirit are like an open hearth that warms him. 
• They fall in love and marry. 
• During the years when they are both building careers, they get along well because they are both busy and eager to succeed. 
• She is thrilled to be with him because she finds it easy to give her whole heart and to appreciate all his good qualities. 
• Under the waterfall of her praise and encouragement, he thrives and succeeds in his business beyond their dreams. She is content to be his supporter while she handily masters her own profession and becomes quietly bored with it. 
• She returns to school, gaining more degrees and credentials to do something more with her talents and to make a greater contribution to the world. 
• She emerges from school and starts a business helping people with their emotions. Her business succeeds almost overnight, because it is in an arena in which her true talents are harnessed for the good of others. 
• Immediately, a rift opens in her marriage. She has grown in a way that changes the dynamic between them. She resolves that she will simply make due with less intimacy in the now cooling marriage. 
• When they finally discuss their relationship, it becomes clear that her husband has been thinking of divorce for some time. Although this is hurtful to hear, her emotional clarity tells her that it is right for both of them. 
• They divorce. 
• She quickly meets a new man who shares her interests in helping others. Their partnership flourishes and they marry, sharing a wonderful life together and helping countless people.

Dolphins often find themselves entering an occupation in which they help and guide others, such as therapy or life coaching. They may also be attracted to the restaurant field, as they enjoy people, conversation, socializing, and parties. They do best when they have regular access to an arena in which they can engage in public speaking, teaching, or expressing their emotional wisdom.

Often they have powerful opinions about social issues or politics, but not for the sake of power or politics per se; their touchstone is emotional truth, the empowerment of people, and the welfare of
animals. Like the dolphins of legend, reputed to lead ships away from treacherous reefs, these women are natural leaders who feel called to be of service to the world.

The Dolphin’s Dreams
Dolphins have an affinity for water, and water figures prominently in their dreams. When they are happy and fulfilled, the water in their dreams will be inviting, beautiful, and a realm of joyous celebration. When miserable, the water in their dreams will be dirty or murky, or they will dream of rivers or ponds that have run dry. On entering a new relationship, one Dolphin type, Clarisse, told me she dreamed of taking swimming lessons and diving into the pool over and over again. She felt that, at last, she had met someone whose emotional depth would enable her to express her own emotional power without the need to disguise or downplay it.

Perhaps because these women understand emotion so completely and live in that realm constantly, they attract partners who are more comfortable in the intellectual and logical planes. In the early stages of a relationship, the Dolphin can do the emotional swimming for both parties, but over time, she may begin to feel as if she is slowly dying inside. When this happens, she will dream of fish that are dying, or of an aquarium that is running dry while hapless fish shudder near death. This is her deeper mind drawing a picture of the way her spirit feels: like a fish denied water. If she chooses to stay in the relationship, she must take rapid steps to immerse herself in other emotional environments so she can experience the fluidity she requires to stay healthy and happy.

The Dolphin personality type is happiest when she is with a partner who loves conversation, as she processes many of her thoughts and feelings by verbalizing them. She also needs someone who is not afraid of big feelings, who will admire and support her adventurous spirit when it comes to oceans of emotion. One Dolphin type dreamed that she was sailing on an old-style galleon alone with her new lover. A storm came up, but together they set the sails so that the ship would not capsize or be pulled off course. She awoke from the dream feeling that she had found the one for her. The dream seemed to suggest that they could be an effective and courageous team, pitted against whatever storms life might bring. They have been able to talk through whatever challenges they’ve faced, and their mutual love of communication has allowed them to understand each other and to grow closer over time.
In dreams, the Dolphin type will often get strong signals about her emotional well-being from the weather (representing her emotional climate) or from the fate of animals and pets. When she is feeling low, she will dream of pets and animals that are suffering, neglected, or wounded. This is a signal that she should immediately turn her formidable powers of nurturing toward herself and
take action to nourish her deep-feeling nature.

Another common dream for the Dolphin is that of unkempt bathrooms and overflowing toilets. When she takes on too much for too long and does not make room for her own well-being, she will have dreams of nasty toilets, which signal that she needs to slow down and express herself more creatively. Whether or not she works as a therapist, she tends to be the informal therapist in her circle, and the toilet dreams will appear intermittently when she needs to turn her attention toward her own needs.

When she is with someone who is a good fit, she will dream of luxurious waters or glorious travel with her partner, a sign that she is connecting with someone who has an inner landscape as grand
as her own.

The Dolphin’s Intuition
The Dolphin personality type is a walking emotional radar system, and her intuition for feelings is incredibly accurate. She can spot a grieving soul at thirty paces, and she is able to speak quietly to someone on the spot and give the advice and understanding that person needs. Because she believes more is better, she may tend to overbook herself or to rescue too many abandoned animals, with the result that she can be surprised at her exhaustion. She tends to think of others far more often than of herself, and sometimes she gives herself permission to turn inward only when her feelings have been hurt.

Her intuition tends to sweep through her on the circuitry of her emotions, the best-paved highway in her system. She will simply feel when something is needed or when someone is hurting.
However, she may be too busy or be talking too much to listen to her subtler signals about what she needs for herself. When she gets out of balance, the Dolphin may start gathering things to her by shopping for things she does not need. When she realizes she does not need them, she will give them away to friends. She may eat constantly to keep herself on the move, becoming unconscious of this pattern or unaware of what she is taking in. She may also cook compulsively, taking plates of food or desserts to gatherings or constantly pressing food on others.

When she tunes into her intuition by checking in with herself, she can see visions in her mind’s eye, hear the voice of wisdom, and feel subtle nuances of knowing inside. She is incredibly sensitive
and intuitive, generous, and loving. Like water, she can flow into any shape or through any channel and she will be there when she is needed. Her weakness, though, is in letting herself get out of balance, running on empty, or neglecting her health or her personal needs for prolonged periods of time. When the Dolphin makes a habit of meditating, something at which she can excel, or of using her highly evolved consciousness to double-check her emotional findings, she can have an extraordinary life.

Suggestions for Dolphins
When you see yourself doing too much, buying too much, or eating too much, take stock. These are the signs that you are out of balance. Because emotional truth is your sacred text, you must get clear on the truth of a situation in order to know how best to deal with it.

Harness your highly evolved intuition by finding a system of meditation that suits you. If you can’t meditate, then do selfhypnosis, guided imagery, or at least practice silence during a daily walk in nature.

Practice mental telepathy with the animals in your life. You have an incredible affinity with animals; they know you have saved them and that you will do everything possible to help them. Try talking to them mind to mind and notice whether you inwardly hear a response.

When you meet a new potential mate, pay attention to your dreams. Your deeper mind is equipped to read the emotional state of others, and you will already have a sense, on some level, of whether this person is a match for you.

Do not marry someone who does not share your love of conversation. Not everyone feels as deeply as you do, but you simply must be able to have the glorious and far-ranging conversations in which you delight. It is fine if your partner enjoys listening more than talking, but it is necessary that he engage in soulful conversations with you.

In a calm period in your life, make a written plan that is your emergency course of action for your emotional well-being. This plan is what you will do to take care of yourself if you are verbally
attacked, bullied at work, or if your primary relationship dissolves.

You have plenty of power and intelligence to draw on, but if you are ever broadsided, you can tumble into the depths of your feeling nature and feel swamped for some time. The plan is your lifeboat,
and you can follow the steps to regain your equilibrium.

If you are unhappy in a relationship and have been so for a long time, give yourself permission to consider alternatives. You hate to give up on anyone, as you are innately nurturing, but sometimes you need to take a look around the corner and see what life might look like in another form. Your biggest block to finding your happy match lies in staying too long with an unhappy one.

You will be happiest with a partner who has a depth of feeling, loves good conversation, and enjoys people. (He should also be someone who will not freak out when you bring home a stray dog or cat without warning.) You need good food and good conversation at the end of a long day, and your partner should be warm enough to provide a safe haven for your boundless, loving nature.

Understanding Your Romantic Nature Is a Good Start
If you did not recognize yourself in the descriptions, then it is likely that you possess a combination of these traits.

As we grow as individuals, we tend to develop traits that balance our personalities and our ability to relate and connect with others.

The bottom line is that the more you understand your own nature, the better able you will be to recognize whether someone is a good match for you or whether, despite initial attraction, a
relationship might leave you feeling hungry, shut down, or alone. Of course, love and attraction are vital, but most people have less difficulty finding those catalysts and more difficulty understanding
how their essential nature must be allowed to flourish within a relationship for them to be happy and fulfilled.





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STYLE THREE : THE WARRIOR PRINCESS

The Warrior Princess personality type is strong, confident, and capable. She is often a professional or a successful businesswoman and is likely at the top of her field or in a position of power.

She is often athletic and especially in early life relishes demanding sports or hobbies. She is smart and self-contained, grasping real-world situations quickly and making shrewd investments and
sound decisions. She likes relationships and sex in a straightforward way, and conquests come easily to her. She is physically and mentally strong; some envious people may speculate that she is unemotional because she tends to stride through life straight to the power center of her arena.

However, even though she is not overtly sentimental and may not seem emotional, she cares deeply
about her partner, family, and friends. She is simply tough-minded and brave, emotionally rugged, and does not easily cry or share private things.

This personality type may have been closer to her father than to her mother growing up, enjoying active sports and appreciating conversations about business or work. When she marries, this
personality type is extremely devoted to her kids and may enjoy cooking, but she is generally not hugely interested in domestic life in the traditional sense. She tends to find her career exciting
and rewarding, and she chooses hobbies that provide a thrill and a challenge.


Warrior Princesses are intellectually sharp, sure of their facts, and may be opinionated or argumentative at times. They are not angry types, but they may occasionally enjoy a good debate and tend to be confident that they are right. One young man who took his Warrior Princess girlfriend home to meet his parents was mortified when his girlfriend engaged in a heated political debate with his father at the dinner table. Later, he took her aside and whispered, “Don’t ever argue with my father like that!” Bewildered, she answered, “But I was right.” For her, the debate was not personal, and she meant no disrespect. She simply felt that her friend’s father needed to adjust his perspective.

However, she was shrewd enough to recognize that the family adored the father and that, for them, arguments were signs of disharmony and rudeness. She made a mental note of this important protocol and, in her pragmatic way, was careful to respect it in the future. One of the great strengths of this personality type (and they have many) is their ability to recognize and respect a nonnegotiable priority in their partner’s perspective and to honor those high priorities. She and her boyfriend married and have been extremely happy for thirty years.

While she is single, the Warrior Princess easily attracts partners through her athletic good looks and uncomplicated joy in sex. She may be seen as going through a lot of guys, introducing each one to her friends in her buoyant, brisk manner. But when friends see her next time and ask about her boyfriend, she will scowl for a second (because she is trying to remember who they are referring
to) and then say, “Oh, him—I’m seeing someone else now.” This rapid-fire process may bewilder those who don’t know her well, but friends soon grow used to her rhythm. That said, however,
she is not promiscuous, and she is not dating and discarding men because she is neurotic or unreasonable. Instead, this powerful personality does not seem to know herself well enough to be
able to forecast the fate of the men who pursue her, nor does she typically look beyond the surface of the men who are drawn to her. If a fellow is attractive, seems to like her, and seems nice, then she thinks, “He will probably do fine.” She is more surprised than anyone if he turns out to have some quality that she dislikes, though she will swiftly and efficiently jettison him from her life when she detects the problem.

The Warrior Princess’s Relationship Loop
One Warrior Princess I know believes she has finally found her perfect match, and it appears she is right. Before, however, she carefully scrutinized her dates and male friends, considering their good qualities, decency, and romantic skills. She would always embark on new relationships with confidence and enthusiasm, but she often found herself disappointed and surprised. Here is a typical
Warrior Princess relationship loop:

• She meets a new man who falls hard for her looks, energy, and confident no-nonsense style. 
• They quickly become an item, and she is delighted that he seems almost worshipful in his affection for her. 
• They do some serious moves, such as having holidays together at each other’s families’ home or vacationing together with mutual friends. 
• Soon, the Warrior Princess, who is a dominant personality, assumes the role of the leader in the relationship. No one says this, and no one acknowledges it; it just happens. 
• She gets a little impatient and a little critical of the man, who starts trying to please her, to bribe her, and to guess what he is doing wrong. 
• They begin to quarrel because he feels her slipping away, and it makes him angry and frightened. She feels annoyed and thinks that he is getting a little clingy. 
• He begins to ask that they talk about their relationship, to spend time being alone together more, and to ask for reassurance and comfort. 
• She begins to wonder how and why she keeps attracting weaklings and realizes this is the beginning of the end. 
• Without further ado, she breaks it off.

This personality type is brisk and certain in her decisions. Once she determines that someone does not fit her needs, he is out of the picture. She does not waste time second-guessing or looking back with regret. For Warrior Princesses, it is a baffling mystery that they seem to choose partners who need reassurance. As one Warrior Princess said, “I am so sick of all these sensitive men!”

Of all the personality types, however, when this woman falls in love and decides on a partner, she tends to stick with the relationship for the long haul and to have a relationship that thrives and is the envy of others. One of her secrets is her cool clarity and respect for her partner’s priorities, as well as her own. As one Warrior Princess told me, “I make sure that my husband gets his way on the big things that he can’t live without; and that I get the things that I need to be happy, too. We build those into our life. We never argue about his love of fishing: he needs that and so he goes. I need to travel and so we travel often. We may negotiate on some small things, make trade-offs, but the big things we let each other have. That works for us.”

The Warrior Princess’s Dreams
This personality type is not typically vulnerable and often has dreams that focus on her desire to build or create something. When she meets someone who is a good fit for her, she may begin to dream of buying a home together, or even of construction projects. She also has a number of erotic dreams about her partner, and when she falls in love, her reservoirs of sexual energy will awaken in full force. With her vast energy, sharp mind, and true heart, she brings a lot of power to the potential of a happy partnership, and she typically does not have a lot of mixed signals in her dreams. In her dreams, she views a good partner with clarity and love, while other prospects appear in a rather cold or unappetizing light.

If she is dating someone who is not a good match for her, the Warrior Princess may dream she is with someone who is somehow defective or weak. Maria dreamed of a diminutive fellow with a shrunken leg who was following her everywhere she went. When she awoke, she recognized that she had recently begun to feel that her boyfriend was, as she phrased it, “kind of lame” in the ways
that mattered to her.

Just as her clarity of judgment is strong in her daytime thinking, the Warrior Princess’s dreams tend to be unambiguous in their review of partners. Nicole, who was feeling hungry for sex, went on a date with a man who was attractive but troubled. During their date, she felt disappointed and turned off by his depressing autobiography, which was the main topic of dinner conversation. That night, Nicole dreamed that she went to have a meal in a restaurant and found that her food was covered with insects and weevils. She quickly pushed the plate away from her, disgusted.

When we eat in dreams, it often symbolizes an experience that we are trying to take in, in the hopes of enjoying it and being nourished by it. When we are offered or try to eat something that is intolerable or cannot be digested, it is the deeper mind saying, “This is not for you.” Nicole also felt that her date’s personality type was of the whining variety, which instantly bugged her.

Her rejection of the infested dinner was simple and automatic, as was her determination that this fellow was not for her. She would rather go hungry (go without sex) than have anything to do with a
dinner (a partner) riddled with traits that bugged her.

Because a Warrior Princess is not afraid to argue, negotiate hard for what she wants, or even point out mistakes, she can sometimes find herself learning surprising lessons about the sensitivities
of others. When this happens, she may dream of having hit someone or of having broken a cherished object. When she dreams of doing something she would never do in waking life, one possibility
is that her dream is exaggerating a recent incident in which she marched confidently over someone else’s feelings, focusing on being right instead of slowing down to understand. Mary dreamed of repairing a broken-down fence with her neighbor, but when she looked over at her neighbor, it was her husband on the other side of the fence. She took this dream to suggest that she and her husband
needed to mend fences. She also felt that the dream implied that being on different sides of an issue was not a problem; they could coexist on different sides of the fence and respect each other rather than trying to win a disagreement.

The Warrior Princess’s Intuition
The Warrior Princess’s personality always comes from strength, and her intuitive powers are most recognizable in connection with that strength. Ask a Warrior Princess how her family is doing, and
you will receive a swift recount of the greatness of her offspring and the achievements of her relatives. She has excellent survival and power instincts and easily senses how to position herself in
organizations so that she can succeed. Others recognize her leadership ability and appreciate her as a formidable ally and a tireless workhorse. She is wired to know how to win, and things like success
and making money are relatively easy for her. She also senses danger to her immediate family and may have flashes of warning about her mate or her children. When someone she loves is in danger, she may feel a visceral impact as if she has been punched in the gut. She also has a keen, heroic sense of timing and may actually rescue a family member or loved one at some time in her life.

Her intuition about danger and survival is infallible. When she gets a physical signal about taking a precaution or checking on someone, she should always respect and follow the signal. Her body is her strongest node of intuition, and she is attuned to her gut as well as variations in her baseline sense of well-being. The Warrior Princess has a keen sense of right and wrong, and her intuition about the care of a child or loved one may well be so accurate that others should listen to her. Mona had a son who had injured his arm so severely that the doctors felt it was necessary to amputate. This plan understandably horrified Mona, but she also felt intuitively that it was wrong and unnecessary. She brought in other experts and argued logically but with ferocity. An alternative was attempted, which worked, and the boy’s arm was saved. When a Warrior Princess feels intuitively that a course of action will work, it usually will; when she feels that some danger threatens her loved ones, she will stop at nothing to try to intervene and save them.

When it comes to social nuances, however, the Warrior Princess fails to take advantage of her excellent intuition. Her logical mind is like a powerful sword that carries her through battle, and she can miss subtle signals when she has gone too far or when her judgment has been less than compassionate. If she learns to practice meditation (which bores her), or even to tune into herself while performing household chores or exercising, she will be better able to listen to the quieter forms of her intuition. With practice, she can come to recognize softer signals of insight from her body, as
well as glimpses of insight in her mind’s eye. Despite the fact that this personality type is not a patient listener, when she learns to listen to her inner promptings, she will uncover a different kind of
power altogether, one that will enable her to love more effectively and see those she loves in a clearer light.

Suggestions for Warrior Princesses
Because others are drawn to your strength and certainty, you tend to have partners who are less outwardly powerful than yourself. Because you cannot truly respect someone you believe to be weak,
you need to learn how to assess whether your date is strong but gentle or not strong at all.

Although your intellect and judgment will take you to great heights in life, your dreams and intuition will help you to discern what is beneath the surface in your dates, lovers, and partners.

You always have a plan and a disciplined routine. Make it part of your routine to review your dreams and tune into your deeper instincts.

Trust your sense of what is right. Although you are capable of falling for someone who is not a good match for you, it is not likely to happen. If you are in love and the relationship is floundering or rocky, something is very wrong. You are hardwired for successful partnering, and if there is something significantly off track, it’s time to tune into yourself and trust what you know to be true.
When you feel something is wrong, stop telling yourself it is right. You can actually force an unsuitable match to last by sheer force of your willpower, so pay attention to your instincts. If you
are irritable, cynical, eating a lot of junk food, or feeling hard inside, then take a step back.

When you find your mate, take note of your partner’s priorities as well as your own. Put both sets of priorities at the top of your list, and use your efficiency to plan how you both can have your
mandatory requirements met. Negotiate on the smaller things, trade off, and swap favors.

Make sure not to neglect your need for friends and confidants. You may have a tendency to focus on achievement at work and family gatherings only, with the result that you have few women friends over the years. Even if you take part in a monthly dream group or make friends at the archery club, go out of your way to keep and nurture your women friends. They will keep you tuned into your intuition and your feminine instincts.

Although you are rigorously compassionate in a general fashion, you may neglect the subtler manifestations of kindness. One Warrior Princess told me, “I have always focused so much on
being right that at times I have forgotten to be kind.” Some people find you intimidating, so if you want them to open up and communicate honestly, you have to let them know it is safe to do so. Learn to switch agendas in some circumstances to discover what is going on without correcting others or directing the situation.

Look at the way your dreams parallel waking life, and take the implications of your dreams seriously; they are almost always as crisp and clear as you are.





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STYLE TWO : THE NATURE SPIRIT

The Nature Spirit feels close to animals and to nature. She also has a gift for glimpsing and accepting the deeper nature of the people around her. For this reason, although she may be relatively quiet or even introverted, she tends to be popular and well loved. This personality type is extremely observant of the minor, telling details of others, and because she tends not to be judgmental of others, she is often the recipient of confidences and confessions.

People tend to lean into her and say, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” and then relate exquisitely personal details and worries. Because others feel extraordinarily comfortable with her, she may attract partners who need a therapist or who long for healing in some way.

Although the Nature Spirit easily appreciates the golden qualities in those around her, she tends to be a little vague about what makes her special. She needs time alone and in nature, with pets and wildlife, to feel balanced and restored. The more complex and tense are her responsibilities, the more she needs rest, naps, outdoor settings, and peace. She may attract partners who need healing or who are dominant and worldly, who find her tranquility acceptance irresistibly soothing.

A Nature Spirit’s Relationship Loop
Jan, a Nature Spirit woman I know, says that relationships happen to her while she is not paying much attention. She thinks relationships are wonderful but feels equally happy on her own.


That’s partially because, while she likes the idea of a relationship, she often finds the reality more difficult and even problematic. A typical relationship loop for the Nature Spirit looks like this:

• She befriends someone and they grow close, with promising chemistry. She showers the other person with acceptance and affection, spotting and celebrating his good qualities until that person’s heart flies open and love is born. 
• With her earthy and innocent sensuality, a warm romance blossoms. She is not thinking of commitment. 
• In the face of heartfelt intimacy, sweet sex, and true acceptance, the other person declares a full-blown relationship and one-ofa- kind true love. 
• She is surprised that this has happened to her yet again. She is forever being claimed as if by an astronaut putting a flag on the moon. She is not clear whether she wants to make a commitment, but it seems to be happening to her. 
• She has a tendency to go with the flow in social situations (which confuse her, so she tries to anticipate what is expected). She glides into being part of a couple without really being clear on how she feels about it or whether it is what she wanted for her future. 
• She enjoys the celebration, the congratulations, and the attention that go with a new and promising relationship while she fights down a sense of panic and uncertainty. 
• She strains to be a good partner and struggles to steal time alone for rest and contemplation. 
• Because she is unconsciously withdrawing for time alone and for restoration, her partner becomes insecure and demands more of her time and attention. 
• She begins to dream of escaping from prisons, concentration camps, and castles. She fantasizes about some disaster or some fluke freeing her from the relationship. She repeatedly tells herself that the relationship is perfectly nice and that she is very lucky to have it. 
• If there are problems, she will leave the relationship or foster its disintegration. If the partner is admirable and the affection is genuine, she may stay for quite a while but feel that she has lost her quiet, her sanctuary, and her time with nature, which is her spiritual touchstone.

The Nature Spirit is almost infinitely intuitive and grasps the truth about situations and people with astounding accuracy. She does not have a good feel for social conventions, however, and often has the sense of being an orphan or a changeling left on a doorstep. The Nature Spirit is very good at feeling a sense of oneness with the divine, with nature and humanity, but she worries about which fork to use at the banquet. She needs time alone the way the rest of us need oxygen, and she often gives up trying to explain this need to others: they seem incapable of understanding how central this is to her well-being and sanity. In partner relationships, she is very giving and accepting, but after spending time together, she also requires time alone to get back to her center.

Like a creature in the woods, the Nature Spirit can be extremely innocent and flee if she feels cornered. She can also be very trusting, and when she accepts someone with simple affection, they feel honored and uplifted.

The Nature Spirit’s Dreams
Although research suggests that women dream of indoor settings more often than men do, the Nature Spirit woman is an exception. She often dreams about driving in her car, exploring the woods or
seashore, or of being befriended by a wild animal who walks with her or protects her.

When she begins a romance, the Nature Spirit will have copious dreams about her partner. They will explore each other and the universe in numerous detailed dreams. She may have telepathic experiences involving her partner, in which she sees or senses what that person is going through. In early life, she may interpret these experiences as signs of having found her mate. In later years, she
will have learned that a sense of seeing into someone else’s experience is not unusual for her and is part of her overall lot in life.

Because of her goodwill toward almost everyone, she may be too accepting of serious drawbacks in a partner, thinking they are merely eccentricities. If this happens, she may begin to dream of being abducted by a dark force or an evil person, or even a monster.

In these dreams, she may develop a relationship with her captor so that she feels pity for him even while she fears for her safety and longs for her freedom. When a recurring cycle of these abduction dreams occurs, it is time for her to pay attention to the exaggerated illustration that something is very wrong. Her dreaming mind is saying, “You have been swept away, you have lost track, and this is not wholesome for you.” When she breaks off the relationship, she will be astonished to find that her friends had long ago labeled her partner as a loser.

When the Nature Spirit is falling in love, she will also fall in love spiritually. Of all the romantic types, the Nature Spirit is most likely to have an active spiritual or metaphysical interest. She may not be religious, but she feels that everything has a spirit, soul, or essence. When she loves someone, she loves his soul and may see qualities in a partner that have never been acknowledged before. Because she tends to be gentle and may be a good listener, some people assume she is weak or unassertive. Although she is not competitive or aggressive, she can be extremely powerful, like a lioness, when outraged. When angered or frustrated in a relationship, she may have dreams reminding her of her own power.

These dreams show her riding an elephant through the jungle, walking beside a lioness down a path, or taking the controls of a runaway vehicle.

If this woman feels trapped in a relationship, she will have recurring dreams of moving out of town, getting her own apartment, or even climbing out a window. These may alternate with fairly enjoyable dreams about her partner if the relationship is a good one, and the mix of the two themes can be confusing. What is happening is that her deeper mind is exploring what works and what does not work in the relationship. She needs to be free, not to explore other partners, but to explore her interests and to return to solitude and nature on a regular basis. If she can negotiate regular time off from the relationship, she can stay in and enjoy the partnership.

The Nature Spirit’s Intuition
When she is in balance and happy, the Nature Spirit glides through life in a series of synchronicities and magical moments that she notices and cherishes. She prefers to have pets in her home, if at all possible, and the presence of animals relaxes and comforts her. She may be an avid gardener, enjoy houseplants, or live in a setting that backs up to a natural area. When she is around people, machinery, technology, or concrete for too long, she begins to feel light-headed, muddled, drained, and annoyed. Though nothing is necessarily wrong, she begins to feel that signal that she needs to have time alone to sleep, dream, and read. If she cannot get away, she may feel slightly panicky and
depressed, even becoming a little weepy for little or no reason.

Some Nature Spirit women (who are benevolent humanitarians) report feeling flashes of hatred toward other drivers on the road or people in crowds when they are far out of balance and away
from nature. This is an intuitive signal that they have been too long removed from their core and need to negotiate time and room for themselves.

The Nature Spirit is highly intuitive and may even be what some would call psychic. She may have telepathic dreams of others, seeing what they are going through or what is going to happen.

The Nature Spirit is pretty clear on what others need but is less clear and less outspoken on her own behalf. Her intuition fires on all cylinders and will become highly sophisticated if she meditates or keeps a diary of her experiences.

When she is in a relationship, she will get immediate signals about the suitability of her partner. She should pay attention to pains in her body, twitches of tension, a feeling that she cannot or should not express herself or that her core needs are somehow flawed or wrong. Because the Nature Spirit may feel a lifelong sense of being out of place in the world, she may approach relationships believing that she needs to apologize for her quirks.

Because she survives in the complex labyrinth of social convention by sensing what is expected of her, she may get pretty far into a relationship by “guessing right” what is desired of her and providing
it, without being clear that she is creating an incomplete impression of herself.

Although many Nature Spirits are paragons of healthy living, many also suffer from mild degrees of intermittent anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive traits. When in balance, they are free from these qualities, or at least they remain only a memory; when they are stressed, trapped, or out of balance, their problem will flare up. The presentation of anxiety symptoms, depression, or obsessive-compulsive patterns is a strong intuitive signal that they are too far away from their center, should make time for restoration, and should negotiate hard with loved ones for the factors that will restore their luminous spirit.

Suggestions for Nature Spirits
Accept that your sympathetic, mystical style will attract not only people who want to sleep with you but also people who unexpectedly want to marry you or have a long-term commitment. Learn to respect your preferences, make them known without rancor, and negotiate for what you need.

Find ways that the feeling of not fitting in the world can dovetail with your occupation or your service to the world. This will change the way you feel about being an outsider and make you less
vulnerable to other people’s riptides.

Accept that other people will probably not fully comprehend what life is like for you, or why exactly you need so much time alone and in nature. They do not need to understand; they merely need to agree that you can have it without conflict or feeling hurt by it.

Practice saying what is, to you, obvious. It is not obvious to others, and they may be very frightened by your withdrawal or your quietness.

Understand that high-powered types, which you attract, need to be guided often, without anger, in learning how to treat you and how to love you. They need to be told a number of times what to
do, and each time they will be surprised by what you have already told them before. Be prepared to keep telling them as often as necessary, without reminding them you told them already!

Practice not feeling like a victim. You must get accustomed to negotiating, to giving and then taking, so that you don’t feel someone stole your life and you can never get it back again. Give people
some warning ahead of time that you are going away to hole up somewhere or are taking a class that interests you.

Don’t assume that because you have to explain yourself, to provide your schedule, and to teach others how to treat you means that they don’t love you. Even though you grasp an enormous amount of information about those you love, other personality types do not.

Pay attention to your bodily signals of well-being and your stress signals of anxiety, depression, or compulsivity as early as possible. When they flare up, go out of your way to rest and get time alone.

If you are having trouble making a decision or taking action, make it your focus to get rest and get back in balance; then you will see more clearly what you need to do.




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