WHY MEN CHEATS?

I really cannot fathom why as well.

Let me share you my personal story. I used to be in a relationship which lasted 10 years. That was my first relationship.

First Month
For the first month it was good, getting to know each other well and doesn't expect anything in return. I was practically in a good mood I guess.

Second Month
When it comes down to our second month, I told my partner that if there will be a chance that he will like someone else in the future, he should be truthful and tell me about it and I will gladly set him free. For the least all I want is a relationship with respect regardless of any reason we depart. I really aim for that. It is a small world after all, do not want anything grudges or bad vibes hanging in any corners of my horizon.

Fifth Month
Allow me to fast forward. We had our first fight. I suspected that he was messaging his exes behind my back, and I was perfectly right about it all along. I saw his phone by accident while he was sending a message and twas flooded with all the messages when we had our good nights after a long day. All along, I thought everything was okay about us. That was all I thought. My Bad. I confronted him, and asked him if he still has feelings for them.

HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR STYLE?

Discovering Your Attachment Style

If you have not already done so, review the four styles of attachment and decide which one you most resemble. But remember, you are unlikely to fit any one style to a T. So pay attention to how your personal attachment style incorporates some of the characteristics of the other styles. For instance, are you basically secure but with a tendency toward doubting your self-worth (being preoccupied)? Also keep in mind that although you have a particular, characteristic style, it will likely vary a bit with different relationships.

WHAT ARE YOUR FEARS IN LOVE?

Fearful Attachment: Conflicted in Love

This conflict between an intense fear of rejection and a desperate need for reassurance and closeness is typical of people with a fearful attachment style. When they are not totally avoiding relationships,
they end up behaving in contradictory and confusing ways. Prone to seeing partners as emotionally distant, they sometimes try desperately to get their partners’ approval and attention by using hyperactivating strategies such as exaggerating their distress. However, when they perceive
their partners as getting close, they feel vulnerable to getting hurt. So they instinctively look to protect themselves from their partner, turning to deactivating strategies to avoid intimacy.

DO YOU NEED LOVE?

Dismissing Attachment: No Need for Love

Like those with a preoccupied style, those with a dismissing style are also prone to believe that their partners will not reliably be there to support or comfort them. But they protect themselves by unconsciously using deactivating strategies that “turn off” (or deactivate) their attachment system, enabling them to avoid being in the untenable position of feeling a pull to rely on an undependable partner. They effectively suppress, avoid, or ignore their emotions and attachment needs. They tend to remain distant, limit their interactions and intimate conversations, and frequently denigrate their partners.

ARE YOU DESPERATE FOR LOVE?

Preoccupied Attachment: Desperate for Love

Those who have a preoccupied attachment style are sensitive to the possibility of being overlooked or rejected by their partner, whom they need to protect them. So they use hyperactivating strategies to keep their attachment system “turned on” (or activated), which ensures that they will continue to seek out a reliable.

ARE YOU HAPPILY IN LOVE?

Secure Attachment: Happy in Love

Securely attached individuals are basically comfortable with their full range of emotions and feel like lovable, good, caring, competent people. They are also inclined to think of their partners as trustworthy, well-intentioned, sensitive, and emotionally there for them. So they are happy with themselves and in their relationships.

FOUR STYLES OF ATTACHMENT

As I’ve explained, attachment styles can best be understood by combining the way people relate to themselves (which can create anxiety) and to others (which can result in avoidance). By dividing the dimensions of anxiety and avoidance into high and low, the following four possible combinations are created:

Preoccupied: High Anxiety, Low Avoidance

Fearful: High Anxiety, High Avoidance

Dismissing: Low Anxiety, High Avoidance

Secure: Low Anxiety, Low Avoidance

HOW DO YOU FEEL IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

How Much Anxiety and Avoidance?

To learn how much attachment-related anxiety and attachment-related avoidance you experience, consider how well you fit the paragraphs below (Ainsworth, Blehar, Water, and Wall, 1978;
Simpson, Rholes, and Phillips, 1996; Collins, 1996; Feeney, Noller, and Hanrahan, 1994; Griffin and Bartholomew, 1994; Brennan, Clark, and Shaver, 1998; Levine and Heller, 2010). Rate yourself on a
scale of 0–10, with 0 being not at all and 10 being that you completely relate. Hold on to these numbers so that you can use them later in assessing your attachment style.

THE BASICS OF HOW YOU CONNECT

Whom do you turn to when you are really upset? At those times, your attachment system is turned on; like turning on an internal homing device for which the target or “home” is an attachment figure. When an adult’s system works well, he has a secure style of attachment. He seeks out his partner or other primary attachment figure for reassurance when he’s upset. And once he finds her to be reliably available and effectively responsive, his attachment system turns off. He feels calm and comforted.

But people with an insecure pattern of attachment don’t fully or consistently find such comfort in their partners or in others, an indication that their “homing device” is malfunctioning.

FOUNDATION OF LOVE

To see a birth is to witness a miracle. No mother can resist wanting to hold, cuddle with, and tend to her newborn. And this is where the story of every person’s life of relationships and love begins.

Infants quite literally need their caregivers for survival. So, thanks to Mother Nature, infants are hardwired with a need to connect with others, and the wherewithal to do it. For instance, they like to look at people’s faces, can get others to care for them by crying, and are usually comforted by being held or rocked. And, of course, babies just look so darned cute that people want to care for them. All of this keeps their primary caregivers (usually their mothers, and secondarily their fathers) interested in protecting and nurturing them. As children become mobile, their continued need for help to survive motivates them to stay close to their mothers. A little one who ventures out will look back to Mommy for reassurance. It’s in these early years, beginning with infancy, that people first learn how relationships can help them feel safe and can calm them when they are upset.

DATING TIPS: DENIED! WHEN YOU GOT DITCH

We all know denial sucks, but there’s great ways of handling it.

I have my own personal ways of handling it instead of telling myself I don’t need a girl like that and she’s not worth my time, because a lot of the time, when I started out, I had absolutely no clue on how to start a conversation with a girl.

Sometimes she was worth my time but I just went about it wrong. THERE’S A FOOLPROOF BACKUP, YAY!

What I would do if let’s say she says “Get out of here loser!” would be to purposefully go with it and say “YES I AM A LOSER, I AM NOT WORTHY TO SPEAK TO YOU AND APOLOGIZE FOR BEING WITHIN YOUR PRESENCE,” or something to that effect.

DATING TIPS: GOING ABOUT THE APPROACH

Well, this is a lot different than just getting up the courage to approach a girl.

Now you gotta know what to say.

You can’t just talk about how cool the book she’s reading is, can you?

The answer is -- probably.

Staying on an interesting topic from what I find still works pretty well with girls.

As long as you make her laugh a little and maybe pull a little “you want me” technique out can work wonders. Warning, be careful and don’t get too excited to use the “you want me” technique if it doesn’t feel right. Just teasing and laughing should keep her attracted.

DATING TIPS: THE APPROACH

Ok guys, time to move out.

My suggestion, get out there and hit on all kinds of girls. Whether she’s attractive or not, the idea is to find great ways for you to start conversations with her.

Ask her questions about her clothes, what she’s reading at the time or tease her about something she’s got on or the activity she’s doing, whatever.

I want you guys to be laughing, having fun and connecting.

Find a wise ass comment to make about anything that’s just not going to offend her. Have a good time but most of all -- learn.

This approach thing is made too complicated by guys who get nervous.

DATING TIPS: WHERE TO FIND THE BABES

The answer is everywhere.

I really don’t go searching for girls, I just always come across them it seems at the mall, Wal-Mart or gas station.

They’re everywhere!

To guys who’d want to know this, if you live in a rural area, you’ll need to probably get out unless you have one girl in mind you want to attract and know where to find her.

Bars and Nightclubs are okay to go to, I don’t, but it’s still full of hot chicks all dressed up for a man to come and sweep them off their feet. I find girls everywhere and never had this problem at all.

If you live in an urban area and were waiting for this question to come up, smack yourself! There’s probably 10 girls outside your window right now but you’re too worried about where to find girls and not worried enough about how to get them.

Look right under your nose guys, they’re any place interesting, uninteresting and anywhere in public

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: ACCUSE HER OF WANTING YOU

This tip isn’t really too tricky at all.

The idea is whenever she brings up a subject about sex or something to that affect, to accuse her of insinuating she wants you or sex from you.

This is to be done in a fun and playful manner, but you’ll still need to hold the belief she actually DOES want you. This is the key to really getting her going.

Ever since a kid, I told ugly girls who I knew liked me, I knew they wanted me and it seemed to turn them on like crazy. Through a little testing, I found the same crap worked on hot girls.

Although then I rarely used it, I believe that if I find 2-3 times to accuse a girl of wanting me (or sex from me) is probably the best amount.

DATING TIPS: TAKE THE LEAD

Ok -- so you’re at a dance and there’s a girl who you want to dance with.

You’ve been talking to her for 5 minutes and a really great song comes on and you want to dance with this chick, how does you ask her to dance?

YOU DON’T.

Let’s compare what you would probably say in junior high, to what you and me are going to be saying by the end of this manual.

Junior High comment:
You - “Hi um, I was just wondering if it was okay if I could dance with you to this song?”
Her- “No I really don’t wanna.”
You- “Well gee, okay.”

DATING TIPS: GIVE HER CHALLENGES

Whenever I’m with a girl, I love to challenge her to all kinds of things.

Basketball, Arcade games, ping pong whatever’s available for a good challenge.

It’s great to kid around and create challenges because it’s showing your cocky side. Guys who don’t provide a challenge are going to have to work another angle because I’ve never had a successful date without being a challenge or challenging her on things.

Now during the challenge, I kind of do some trash talking (of course I’m fooling around) by saying things like “Man you never shouldn’t have accepted my challenge, now your gonna get whooped!” or “Prepare to get embarrassed, my dear!”

Little things like this can begin a whole bunch of friendly conflict and fun.

It’s also great to cheat a little, like poke her in the side before she takes a jumpshot or try and get a peak at her cards when playing poker.

After you messed her up it’s great to tell her she stinks at it.

Create challenges all the time and watch the attraction build.

If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: DECIDE FOR HER

As a man, I feel it’s necessary to take the lead at certain moments.

When a decision is needed to be made, if a man tells the woman “It’s up to you honey, you’re in control,” he’s given up power that was necessary for him to keep and take control of.

My idea of taking the lead can be anything from grabbing her hand and leading her somewhere, to just making a decision for her that she can‘t.

Here are some scenarios of what taking the lead would be, I’ll show you how not then how to handle the situation.

How Not:
Woman – “Honey, I don’t know if I want to have BBQ or seafood tonight.”
Man – “Sweetie, the decision‘s yours. Whatever you want, we’ll do tonight.”

Woman – “I don’t know if I want to go hang out with you tonight or just stay home.”
Man – “It’s perfectly understandable if you don’t want to go out with me tonight, if you decide against it, I’m perfectly fine. Next time you can just give me a call and we’ll go out whenever you want, babe.”

Woman – “Honey, do you think I should wear the blue or red dress tonight, I can‘t decide?”
Man – “You know colors better than me, I really don’t know I can’t tell.”

How To:
Woman – “Honey I don’t know if I want to have BBQ or seafood tonight.”
Man – “I’m in the mood for seafood, let’s go there tonight. Sound good?”

Woman – “I don’t know if I want to go hang out with you tonight or just stay home.”
Man – “Now, what do you thinks more fun, TV or me? Now that you’ve thought about it, staying home’s not even an option right, I’ll be over at 9pm. Be ready on time.”

Woman – “Honey, do you think I should wear the blue or red dress tonight, I can‘t decide?”
Man – “I’d have to go with the red dress. It looks so much cuter on you, now hurry up.”

See the difference?

It means the whole world to a woman if you take control and decide for her when she can’t. I truly believe this is part of a man’s job in a relationship, and if you try it besides saying “Whatever you wish darling” and just say “Yeah, we’re goin’ for seafood tonight,” you’ll relieve yourself of having to say to yourself “Dammit, I wanna have seafood, but I’ll come across as rude if I tell her what I want to do.”

I know we were raised to say that kind of stuff, but it’s another lesson that’s gotta be unlearned.


If you want to submit articles, poems, love stories, love letters, write ups you like to share to us and to the world. Kindly email us at help.bookofdistraction@gmail.com We will email you back once it is up on our site with credits and feature you as the author of the month. Continue supporting www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com Thank You my Loves! xoxo ;) 
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DISCLAIMER:Some of the photos, links, articles are not owned by the site, and/ or not being stored by the site.Comments are views expressed by the readers. www.bookofbeautifuldistraction.blogspot.com may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right of freedom to express.If you think we should remove those aforementioned elements due to copyright infrequent, feel free to tell us, and we will comply.

DATING TIPS: WHY IT WORKED SO WELL LONG AGO

Men think mainly through reason and logic, women think through emotions and feelings.

We’re different and we’ll just have to deal with the fact that’s they way it is.

Our species has done it for millions of years and we’re still all alive. How did we do it when we’re so different?

Ever hear a guy say….

“Women are impossible” or
“You can’t win with women, there’s no possible way.”

Maybe you’ve even been the guy saying that.

It’s not true, that’s just the unattractive in them (or you) speaking (at least at that time).

Well our ancestors found ways to get around our differences and manage to be extremely close and in love with each other.

DATING TIPS: APPERANCE = 20% SUCCESS

A good-looking guy is only guaranteed about 15-20% success.

His confidence, humor and attitude happen to be mainly the determining factors between getting a smoking hot supermodel or some ugly chick who’s upset she only gets to go home with this guy based on looks with no personality.

Don’t let these metro sexual dudes fool you.

A lot of them aren’t doing too well with the ladies from what I find.

Quite a few of my friends happen to have the metro look and girls approach them all the time, none want to take my advice and they get pissed when I get hotter chicks.

A lot of guys don’t know what they’re doing and spend their time finding ways to look better, when meanwhile they should be smart like everyone who’s reading this manual right now and learn to actually attract girls through a woman‘s natural desires.